quickquickquick i have to write these down before i forget them just because today is a rare happy day. or at least it turned into a rare happy day :) after going for macro and falling asleep and blahblahblah.
so. for one. today's capoeira session kicked ass and it made me happy happy happy. hm. wait the happy things are quickly fading.
1. talked to random man at busstop who was telling me of his days studying statistics in lse. random friendliness making me chirpier.
2. saw couple making out inside the train station. all over each other, very nearly pornographic but the pure sexual energy and the fact that they were totally going for it made me grin.
3. as the bus went past st paul's there was all that manmade rain and filming crew. but i couldn't see if there was any one i ought to see running in the rain or sthg.
4. and then as i was walking home my shuffle shuffled to i like to move it. and i was so insanely amused i think if anyone had seen me they would have thought i was crazy.

so basically today is a good day :) and i should shower and get to work! harness good energy and banish bad chi :)

it's really painful and embarrassing to relive snatches of most-cringeworthy moments that has ever happened to you. and it's not like telling it stop actually makes it stop because it's like some sadistic torture machine that makes every detail even more vivid the more you want it to stop. so here i am trying to study micro and for some reason, tortured by these -moments-. ughh. even travis isn't soothing my frazzled nerves. why??

things are in such a strange place right now. when things go in a cycle, sort of like a sine graph with the regular peaks and troughs, despite perfect information of all that has gone before, with the regular cycling of the pattern, how does one know that the trough will eventually climb into a peak and things will all be good again? what if the line has levelled out and you're going to stay in the trough forever more except that it isn't really a trough but more of a neverending abyss more like.

in any case. was reading about marine snow today. and despite the most enchanting images the phrase "marine snow" conjures up the reality is so much more blase (not disappointing simply because marine snow is actually a fair miracle of nature) --- dead bits and flotsam and sand and soot falling through the water rather than pretty delicate snowflakes. and congealed in some sort of mucus no less. haha. visions of sugar plums dissipate fairly alarmingly.

my single friends are dropping like flies! which i guess is good. except it induces jealousy :P which is none too flattering and endearing. but awwwww. everyone so sweet.

now that i finally own a hammock i can string it up between the two coconut trees that have sprouted overnight in my tiny room and study in it and swing around and be happy. there should be increasing marginal returns to studying from that i guess. all that happy pinkness and stuff should be very exciting :)

another quiet night at home. except it isn't really quiet because i like the way music reverberates in a quiet room. and i don't actually know if the housemates are home or not. but i shall assume they aren't until they present themselves and prove me wrong :)

things just seem so different now. i don't know if i'm happy with the way i turned out but it's times like this that i wonder again. so ok fine we live happily (hypothetically) and we do everything the way we want to and all that. but then what? then even if we went back and erased our existences does it really make a difference anyhow? to any one or to anything. gaaaah. things are not coming out right. ah well. need to find something to study about.

i've got a splitting headache and i feel like i'm going to puke but i can't stop reading this! haha. geekologie.com. which has the most random amazing things ever like a maserati entirely covered in glassshards for the moscow biennale. or scrabble sofas where the seats are the racks and the cushions are the letters. waaaay coolass! i wish some of them concepts were for retail haha. i would buy them in a heartbeat.

wow. so i used to be a lot more garrulous on blogger i think. and i had a lot more stuff to say. does that mean that i've grown up (to be blander and more blah and boring than ever before?) ah well. i love my desktop.

how completely surreal... i've never had my ceiling leak on me before -- the water coming from random spots and dripdropping all over every and anything. and so completely helpless too. at least it wasn't too bad. and it didn't shortcircuit our house either. so all's well :) sigh. everything else seems so much more interesting during study time. i was even secretly happy when the ceiling leaked cos i meant i could preoccupy myself mopping up the gross wetnesss on the floor. haha.

now that it's warmish it's really really nice to just go out and walk around and soak in foreign air :) and maybe buy a cupcake or two. depending on if i get my bum out of my house into the fray (all these tourists. tut tut.). so gold bars are really made of solid gold. like up to 99.9% pure gold. and here i was thinking gold is really soft right so isn't it malleable and wouldn't hold as a inscribed bar very well? but well. apparently not. and seriously i'm getting inured to the wonders of the human body from all the naked bodies i see on tv. which of course are great bodies just that there are just too many of them for it to arouse any sort of emotion at all :p except of course the french (? crystal knows her name) woman with watermelon breasts. that was a sight to behold.

because this is where i much rather be right now. camel-riding bedamned.

This studying thing is seriously getting on my nerves. i don't feel right doing anything. studying and i feel like doing anything else really. and then i do anything else and i get overcome by an overwhelming sense of guilt. add to that the fact that about the only thing that gives me a legit excuse not to study is to eat and you have a killer combination. don't mind the bad pun. i want to go home and eat food that hasn't been randomly thrown together by my practically out-of-commission sense of cookery.

Two rainbows side by side. The other so faint it is barely discernible but you know it's there and it's all that really matters. It wasn't me who saw it but it feels as if i was almost there. After the crazy storm which caused 7 blackouts and which i really cannot imagine. I like days like that :) Even through a champagne induced miasma. But the days ahead, well.

They are just the result of a chemical imbalance and are entirely not my fault except for the bit where I let them be freely expressed and then only because we know that repression isn't good for the soul and being the person that I am of course I don't want to injure my already battered soul in any other way. I'm so sorry for always hitting the self-destruct button like that and causing all that collateral damage that I swear I don't mean. I can't help it. Except that that's the lamest excuse ever.

A red moon without any forewarning would probably have seemed like blood and darkness was washing across the sky, ever so slowly. It's so difficult to need to rev up and do work when all i want to do is lie in bed and sulk. And the thing is talking to people doesn't even really help because all i do is snap at them, and besides, I have yet to learn that annoyance during mood swings does not equal actual dislike.

Well. I don't mean harm, but the things i can't be bothered to do seem to bother people. it's just me and me not giving a hoot about what i ought or ought not do which could be good, or bad. As of now, bad.

I want to be a bright and happy person who doesn't care about how annoying some people are and how i'm getting white hairs from stressing about the most inane things possible. But that wouldn't be me cos that would probably be a normal person! how fun.

Can't wait for the end of school! wheeeee :)
just need to jump over this hurdle of a crappy essay that i don't want to fail.

It's the second last week till school ends, and i've finally got internet up at my place!

The socially inept are out on the streets again trying to make themselves believe that they are loved and liked, that they're not just forgettable bits and pieces of everyone else's lives. But, what is never tested never fails, so they might as well stay at home and play pretend, which is much more comforting and secure.

You'd think that twenty years would be enough for the brain to learn how to properly regulate hormonal levels and preempt all these crappy ditches of hormonally-induced depression. Because these episodes aren't even attention worthy and are just excuses to whine and generally feel shitty. Which sucks.

Anyhow. Twenty years with nothing worthwhile achieved can make one generally feel useless i suppose. Nothing to fret about.

My unjust soul is railing out at my bursting brain. which is imploding with all the information that i've attempted to stuff in and it just keeps slipping out. Apparently, the brain never forgets, so what's happening is that i'm saving all this information in repeat files, happily categorised and decorated, and then misplacing it. Come tomorrow, when faced with the worst that J.Coleman and Flikschuh are capable of, I would be regurgitating... nothing. I need some way of dealing with this. Crisis!

Colourless is such a horrible word :(

I know that no one ever said it was easy, and now is probably not a good time to (continue to) be superficial and care about how i'm gaining weight sitting in my chair and reading and stuff, but this whole business of trying to get my stomach back to its original size is damn difficult! It takes so much discipline to not notice the lone godiva truffle begging to be eaten, the half-a-bar of butterscotch chocolate, and the rest of the food which is less indulgent but food nonetheless. so i tell myself. if i can get past tonight, it'll be all cool again :) but meanwhile. the saliva keeps welling up! damn it.

There's never time like the present (i.e. when i should be doing other things) to hang out after classes and go and catch a cup of (really REALLY yummy) hot chocolate or dinner. mmmmmm. Russian orals on tuesday are definitely not beckoning. I have at least 5 pages of russian stuff to memorise and half the words are really tough on my tongue :/ bah.

Only in Japan can someone throw out 5 million yen in the trash and get it back again a month later! How amazing :)

if there's a single pose i hate the most it's the one where the models stand with their arms akimbo and back hunched, looking like they're about to barf all over the cameraman. Strong pose indeed.

As usual, it's because i have to study that i find time to do things like update my blog. i was just thinking about the time difference between singapore and london (it's 7 hours now because of summer time) and i realise that i always take 10pm as a cut off point. 10 pm is when news starts (sorry i watch a lot of chinese tv serials :P) and then 10 pm is also when the ch 5 shows get properly started. so somehow i feel very unfulfilled when there's nothing to watch on ch 5, because then i have nothing to do except watch the chinese news, where i can't understand the names of the politicians or the football teams and players. and now even without the tv i guess the 10 pm thing has stuck, where before 10 is really early. and after 10 is late enough for me to go to sleep slightly less guiltily.

it rocked it rocked it rocked :D:D:D
i'm still insanely happy despite it being 2 am in the morning and like 4 hours after the end of the play. What an incredible high :)

It's tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow :)

Sometimes it hits me like a brick wall that I'm not doing what I am most happy doing. It's when I talk to people who are that I really feel like digging a hole, jumping in, and pulling all the soil back in after me. I want to dance! and the thing is I'm not even very good at it so I can't do it properly full time but gods i really want to dance :( How stupid is this! ughhh.

It's just such a strange yet happy experience :) I pray that I won't freeze, curl up and die though. Which I have a mortal fear of. ugh. Anyway. If anyone's looking for an excuse to come to London, choose March 17th, 18th! heeee. Ask me for more details though. because i don't want to be found out by random Googlers. heh.

It's so amusing.
I keep hearing exclamations like "What???" and "Oh my god! How can..." and "Ewwwww" coming from the room next to mine :p It's her on her Alias marathon haha.

Go! Fight! Win! My ass.

there's just always this lurking feeling that i would prefer just sitting on a bench somewhere, even in the blustery cold, staring into nothing and just breathing. I'm starting to feel like i'm a strange person who just doesn't quite fit in. just a bit too rough around the edges, and a bit too odd.

haha cool stuff. we're in cambridge and they're all knocked out and it's only 4.30 in the morning! where's the stamina guys :p though i suppose the gross drinks really knocked them out. hmmm.

oh no. i fear for myself. what if i come out of this stupid and ignorant about the ways of the world?

even lifetime warranties do not cover wilful destruction.

it's nice to be nonchalant about stuff. you don't really care about things, and then nothing anyone does would really hurt you. right? but if you don't care about things, then nothing anyone does can really make you insanely crazily happy either. and then how?

sighh. i'm such a bitch. why should i ever complain about anything when most of the stuff is of my doing anyway? what you get yourself into, you're officially not allowed to bitch about. You're not allowed to blame it on the hormones. Then again, feelings are only mixtures of chemicals acting on your brain. so maybe i just have screwed up hormones. damn i need a pool.

we're too good for this!
but well. that's only what we think. and not what other people think. but then again, according to Rousseau, the whole point about society being screwed up is that we live only for what other people think :) therefore, HECK.

5 letter word. one of the earliest things you learn at school or not even. like hell anyone is really feeling it now. or maybe it's just me. but i know i can't be the only one. it's too lonely. ha.
which reminds of the other line: i want you... barefoot on the burning sand.

i don't know what i'm doing. see. it's very easy to confess that. much easier than actually attributing my behaviour to a specific reason. because i don't know.

and the eyes glaze over. the muscles strangely weak. and the chest constricts. again and again. (yeah lah. breathing also like that.)

How does it get that we get so preoccupied with what being Happy and Content means? And how is it that the more I turn these words over in my head the less Happy and Content we seem to be? It's strange how I need to know that i live with a purpose and that i'm going in the right direction to feel at least slight mollified that i'm not wasting -all- my time doing nothing.

The other day i was talking to xun and her summary of my dilemma was 'You just don't feel popular anymore isn't it'. haha. Perhaps. Not that i ever was popular in the first place. Ok. so it sounds very superficial. but i guess we just want to feel loved :) and sometimes it's difficult because people don't really seem to want to listen anyway and they probably wouldn't notice if i fell into an abyss and was un-recoverable. ?? ?????? ??????

why is jealousy green? perhaps people who have a predilection for green are more jealous than others, and are more likely to have to do war upon that monster, envy.

it's really funny how you can always tell who has been to whose blog by the quizzes that appear :)
Guess mine :P


Esmeralda


Which Disney Heroine Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

ah well. Esmeralda! speaking of whom, there was a very strange woman called esmeralda in pulp fiction. and she was scary. hmmmm.

It's strange how random things that my mother said to me when I was a kid have stuck with me till now. The one that pops out off the top of my head is: There was this girl who was wearing specs and these dangly earrings and looked so much like a Christmas tree!
Which is why i carefully remove any dangly earrings when i'm in my specs :)

La fille aux cheveux lin is such a pretty name for a gorgeous piece. I (embarrassingly) discovered it in a japanese television serial where takuya kimura was a troubled virtuoso pianist. haha. but the japanese always have perfect taste for the loveliest classical pieces! (unlike some others i could mention haha) I need more Debussy! (haha. i keep thinking it's Liszt for some reason)

i wonder how anyone knows when it's time to stop. When it's time to pull the plug and pretend like nothing's ever happened. When does practicality override emotion? How does one decide that the future pain is greater than the immediate hurt and disappoinment of just giving up? How will I ever know.

Bah. Bullshit.

Hmmmm. It is a very surreal thing, sitting on my gym ball and playing with my roll of fat just above where my track pants end. It's really fun. but very disturbing.

It probably shows that I still have an ounce of awareness of how sociable people interact, that i don't straight out scream fuck you because you're such an insincere idiot.

how does one progress to using 'cheers' and not feel phoney? haha. i am so dead. rehearsals friday. -need to memorise script-
bye lovelies :)

gaaah. Things always seem to be coloured brighter when they happen to you, and blah-ed out when it's to other people (with a few notable exceptions) I am starting to feel like a real loner :/ or perhaps it's the hormones talking. like i said: gaaah.

settling back into the blahness of school. and the guilt of not enjoying a place like London! Sigh. I should get my butt off the chair more often :) and visit the Lake district :)

ugh. am still crazily jet lagged. what is this! I slept at like 8 yesterday again. and awake at 7.45 this morning despite my attempts to sleep thru to a later time. grrrr. i shall have to stay up late today to try and somehow get my body clock back. I was running around yesterday with my friend and i realised that the 'friends' she bumped into (and there were quite a few of them) were really rude. Not unfriendly but not focused. and it just irritated me so much. well. i rather deal with no friends :p

Now I'm back. And I miss everyone :( Which i guess is everyone's gripe about studying overseas. ah well. And it's cold and i just don't feel toasty even with the heater on. boohoo. and Kahli just left! sighhhhhh. and i still haven't finished the ton of homework i started out with :(

I never realised what a cool place (and how foreign) parts of Singapore are! Me and yl were at Arab Street (and we spent a bomb on beads and stuff haha) and then me and zsing walked down Serangoon Road (in search of French Canteen which, to our dismay, was closed on account of it being New Year's Day). So I've resolved to be far more adventurous in checking out parts of London. But i need to find people to do that with first though. heh. Which sort of leads to my other resolution to be more sociable. which i normally am but it's beccome too tiring. bleargh. but. I guess i should make a semblance of -some- effort :)

Please meet up with me (if you want to) before Saturday! I'm leaving in the morning so it's not like i can meet people before i leave. and i'll be travelling alone :( so i'm figuring i'll be doubly lonely as I leave. I'm not very good at the 'be by myself' thing. but i'll survive and live to see you all again in June/July.

ahhh. life now is damn boring. and i realise that coming back , it's as if i've never left before. now the six/seven months looming ahead is daunting me :/

if only there wasn't ns. sigh.

mmmmmm. So close.

hairline cracks appear. do they deepen or if i slap some plaster onto it, does it go away? :(

YAY I LOVE MY RUSSIAN TEACHERS!!! :)
I'm so happy now i can't sleep. basically I got Mrs Chambers' comments about me :)
and i am delighted :)
wheee!!

So kahli and crystal were here! :) and we went for franz ferdinand which quite rocked :) (but i still secretly preferred the white stripes one:p because... i nearly died for it and it was worth it!:) anyway. so they crowded into my room and we had such great fun eating junk and going nuts :)

and before that fuzzy was here! and harrod's gave us each a free doughnut to celebrate the occasion :p


There of course, is just that one essay and presentation that are screwing up my plans for the last week of holidays. hmmmmm.

Nights of immense boredom.

Well. It's really strange to basically feel nothing much but a vague sense of jenesaisquoi. It probably does not help that there's nothing interesting going on, or at least nothing that i would classify as interesting. Then again, it takes quite a bit to get me going when i'm in such a mood. The crappy thing is that the feeling that i-couldn't-care-less returns with increasing urgency and frequency, basically rendering me one of the worst people to hang out with ever. ugh. whatever.

i would say leave me alone, but leaving me alone invariably contributes to the illusion i have that I am the most screwed up antisocial bitch ever and I remember thinking, in my moments of sanity, that that isn't all that true. It takes a lot of convincing for me though. sigh. It's days and nights like this when I have dreams of getting really drunk, but of course, that isn't quite possible.

how depressing. the thing is, i see people around me enjoying themselves, and so it comes down to this: what's wrong with me. sigh. there are people who thrive in all sorts of conditions, and haha.

It's like a wave of cleanliness swept across my room, aided in no small part by the Military of Sg. :) my room is clean! but it's really dusty. having a construction site near my place sucks :/

Haha. So cool :) I survived my first concert proper. Without dying. But escaped with my life only barely and then again nearly without my jacket and my shawl. I now understand how people can get stampeded to death. I could easily have suffocated in the smokey barely there air! ewww. Made me miss 'my doorbell'. Damn. I didn't even catch what the first few sets were cos i was busy trying not to get killed.

But after i managed (somehow) to get out of the squish, we went round to the back where we couldn't see much but at least we could hear them :) Jack white's guitars are -so- cool. and oooher! it really rocked. sucks that it was so short tho.

White Stripes tonight! :)

It's sort of embarrassing that after a month of school, my first essay ever will only be due on Friday. I should probably (try to) make it a pretty decent one. Then again, I haven't written an essay in nearly a year. It's going to be tough :/

It freaked me out to find out that after all, I'm a pretty average kind of girl? After all my illusions of grandeur :p Sigh. And it struck me around the middle of aristotle too. How incongruent. It's just that being transplanted out of my backyard (not that i have one at home but it's just an expression of sorts) and being placed in a strange place has made me realise that I don't particularly love any -thing- crazily (except for people :) and I probably am the -worst- person ever to make small talk with (it just doesn't work). I don't know why I'm suddenly obsessed about it. But in any case. I'm insanely jealous of people who actually manage to make really good friends in university. Because it'll probably never happen here! Damn. Haha. But then again, I have puee and shafa :) who rock. So that's good :)
(always count your blessings.)

It would probably be better though if I were a more selfsufficient kind of girl. And I'm not quite :/ Not nearly as cool as Des anyhow :P

Gizmo project is SUCH A sucker for money!! they charge for connection to calls. (even tho they say they don't) ugh. and when i use skype, they don't charge me when i get the message "the customer you've called cannot be reached". and gizmo project happily guzzles my money. Yeah. Whatever.

Halloween Boat Party!
It was freaking cold. brrrr. and the music sort of degenerated into retro and techno. sigh. but other than that. quite fun! of course. i'm paying for gin and tonics with rashes. sigh.


The View


The Greenwich Thingy :) I don't remember what it's called... and it was so anticlimactic. apparently when you're on one side you're in one timezone and when you're on the other, another timezone.. but haha whatever. if people can arbitrarily decide to impose daylight savings, whether i'm in one timezone or another doesn't really matter!


Puee and me trying to look as drunk as possible. and probably succeeding, based on this photo alone. haha. assorted other drunk looking photos of me and puee around. however, must clarify here. 2 gin and tonics do not a drunk girl make.

It's so depressing. Because of daylight savings, we 'gained' one hour and now we're back on GMT I think. So it's once again 8 hours difference to Singapore. That's not the depressing part though. It's due to the fact that the sun set at 16 42h today. It was 5 in the evening and it looked like 7. :( Byebye Sun.

Victory!
I carted home a full length mirror from portobello!

i haven't done laundry in 3 weeks. and the day i choose to do my laundry, the washing machines go on strike and refuse to count down the minutes. and there's no water or anything. fing hell. grr. :(

AHHH!

according to crys i now have 12 johnny depps sitting one on top of another in my room...
(i love pueee! and well. thanks to adrian too :P i would have said 'i love adrian too!' but that sounds so wrong... heh.)

Looking thru Varian. Must they call it 'kinky tastes'?

my mind works in the strangest ways! I am probably one of -the- most susceptible people to mind influence or whatever the hell they're called. Once a possibility has been suggested, it runs about in my consciousness no end. till another suggestion comes around and knocks the previous one into oblivion! i would be a v good receptacle for subliminal (or not) messages. eeks.

hey haven't been posting! too lazy. plus i'm ill to boot and the weather here is such crap!

anyway. was in paris over the weekend.. but heh. sounds better than it was. too much to gripe about so i shan't :) parts of it was good! and i'll take it as an 'experience' as a**** would call it. :P here are the photos :)

email me darlings... i've been slow in replying but i love hearing from all of you! please email me.. don't desert me :( defenestrated@gmail.com

is there a limit to self pitying? or does it feed upon itself, growing larger and more sinister with every bite and swallow? it's possible, theoretically, to break the cycle and become happy again. but every time things look up, something happens that brings the illusions crashing down again. emotional wastelands loom :(

canterbury is quite a boring place. but fun to take 'weareveryhappy' photos in.. heh.
and the oyster gratin was so yummy!

I AM SO HUNGRY.
but i'm too lazy to step out of my room.
sigh.
hungry.
hungry.
and i can't find my snicker bar which i thought i bought.

I know rugby is a very fun sport. but when you're getting plowed into (even by the skinniest of people) it is a scary feeling! and of course it didn't help that i couldn't quite get the technique and the skinny girl i tried to bring down just dragged me along. sigh. and plus it was raining buckets. so sometimes i couldn't even see.. haha.

walking home alone after dark is so scary. Thank goodness the streets are well lit. even then, i inevitably imagine insanely free muggers waiting to pounce on me.

ah well. the view at blackfriars bridge is always the most gorgeous.
this is on the way out:

and on the way home.

mmhmmmm :D
indian takeout.
YUM.

update at 2309h:
we are -so- going to get really fat here.
1. indian takeout


2. really huge bowl of orange juice.

one after another. (while a really hot drunk party is going on in the room next to us!)

i finally bought narnia. there was a discount on account of it being national children's reading week or sthg. and therefore it cost me 6 pounds. yay :)

Здравствуйте!
damn russian is difficult! especially since it's so misleading where H is 'n' and P is 'r' sound. haha confused. but quite fun. considering i totally missed like 75% of the lesson and still am not too far behind. wow
До свидания!
(the only reason i know this one: 'Da sveedaneeya' is from watching Anastasia :)

i should probably change the title of my blog soon. there are no 'bright sunshiny days' in london! There are at most moments of bright sunshine. and then the rest is just gloom.

les misérables was quite enjoyable. i must probably read the book now that I've seen the musical (even if it's just to find out the name of the pretty girl who died.) Thing is. I don't understand the whole 'applaud after a great song even if someone's just died'. It just means that the audience isn't totally into the story and is instead appreciating the technical merits of the musical. It was just so strange. i mean there was hilarious bits where it's normal to applaud, but the sad bits don't exactly lend themselves to applause.

ok i've obsessed about that enough. ciao.

oh yeah.i'm actually facebookable now! :D amazing. LSE actually has like facebook. haha. anyway. night scene.

Hyde park is gorgeous. actually. it's the canards i love haha :) quack honk.


and this is the Albert Memorial from like across the road.


and mika hakkinen's reconstructed car at the science museum!


plus london has such fluffy clouds!

ah well. photo blogging is so much fun :D i've been whipping out my trusty camera at every turn. but it was too cold and windy today and it got our spirits down :/ cos we were just shivering a lot of the time. (notenoughclothes cold not toofingcold cold)

I'm happy that London has so many great museums and art galleries :) I live next to the Tate Modern, and I just went in today and it's gorgeous :) I love it. especially this

I'm actually starting to like this place a bit :)

London is a killer for walking! I've been here like 3 days and i haven't touched public transport --> just walking and walking and walking! and it's really cold windy. (ok. from a singaporean pov. i mean. we don't even get v strong wind unless it's a tropical storm!) Anyway. Thanks to the walking, i've got gorgeous photos :D


erm i think this is like around picadilly circus (i'm still quite crappy at remembering places :)


the strange occurrence of finding an obelisk in london


i love this photo :) i forget what you call a rainbow that encircles the sun.. v pretty :)


Bruce Almighty!!

ok. i've been v touristy. quite fun to just whip out the cam and have fun :D

i have nobody's skype! and noone's ever online! this sucks. add me la!!

Well. Today feels much better i guess :) still a bit anti social (to anyone from LSE reading this: I'm perfectly approachable! despite the blank/hostile looking face). well we went shopping a bit.. not much cos it's too bloody ex. and i realise that i like singapore after all! (oh no.) i have a new mobile number. so if you want to call it's 0044 77 22118884 I think :) i've got free incoming! but i think you all have to pay international calls heh.

In london. and i suddenly feel very alone. is that very bad? i'm v sad here. and i've beenhere all of one day.

i leave in nearly exactly 7 hours. there's an inexplicable sense of worry. maybe not inexplicable. i'm just nervous i guess! it'd help if there weresomeone else i really know in lse... ugh. help me! deep breaths aren't really helping tho. and i think i'm winding myself up even tho i'm sure it's going to be exciting and fun. it's like how i'm ok with heights if i'm distracted but n ot when i'm faced with silence and lots of time to contemplate falling and smashing on the ground :(

I can drive now :) But no car.

I have a stack of passport photos! but erm. they're all freaking ugly.

Haha. i love the 'cluck the chicken' widget :) I asked if i should be worried about going overseas and it said
'Think not Rooster Boy!" :)
ok. i'm very childish and naive. but heck. it's quite funny :)

All sunburnt!
Sentosa was v fun. but VERY expensive. ugh. and lots ofhot babes :) including kahli :p as many boys at siloso beach could attest to :p hahaha. but quite freaky. you'd know why if you watch the news i guess.. we were there. but we might as well not have been for all that we realised.
anyway. prob the most sun i'll see for a while then :)

ugh. i hate photos :( i always look so bad in them!!! and heh. i guess i better pile on the deodorant thingy cos there're sweat circles under my arms in the photos (which i must say are v disgusting but hardly my fault cos it was REALLY warm.) i don't have photoshop or i'll photoshop it off haha. too bad. anyway. here're the nicer ones... ask me for the others if you really want :)

It's only at social events like this where you realise that even tho you know quite a few very nice people, it's pretty difficult to move the conversation beyond the initial hug, hi and so where're you studying now. sigh. i used to think i was extroverted but i recently found out that the so-called extrovert is one who enjoys small talk. so i guess that rules me out... anyway. i'm leaving on 25th. i'm such a worry wart but ugh.i haven't packed. my mom's been bugging me. i haven't seen everyone i want to before i leave even tho i guess i'm coming back in december so most people (with a few excceptions :)) won't even have the time to miss me. sighhhhhhh. what if i hate london :(:(:(

UGH. Driving test tomorrow. i think i'm going to fail.

Awww this rocks :) i have a new 15" powerbook!!! :)




I'm very happy today :) maybe it's the (very little) alcohol :)
can you tell? :)

Treetop trail yesterday was satisfying i guess :P more for the sake of having walked 10k in 2 hours, and having not succumbed to the fear of heights on that trembly bridge.
the trembly bridge

and its view



and the interminable steps.

Yay. Shopping blitz today.
Treetop trail tomorrow. Assuming we can find the trail that leads to the ttt. 4-5 hour walk apparently. Hee. Shall bring more food.
(Jane sorry i'm not going with you! let's take this as a recon mission for me. if it's any good i'll erm redo the 4-5 hours with you before you leave! if i can stand doing it all over again that is. again assuming i actually can find the trail despite woozy instructions on npb website.)

The first day of my fitness blitz. I'm hoping that blogging it might actually make me more responsible for continuing to work out regularly. because it is obviously the first few days that are the most challenging. sigh. and am humbled at my lack of strength or endurance... ugh. then again, blasting u2 in the gym was very gratifying :) aching limbs, but happy heart :)

And so everyone's geared up for uni life. what am i going to do when everyone leaves! (figuratively and literally) oh right. kahli did say sthg about crashing classes :) so i guess i'll still have stuff to do :) and play fatal frame on xbox which totally freaks me out even though nothing much was happening. bah. i still have 1 month to my driving test, 2 months to london. and all i've been doing is trying to figure out what the fuckendo vernon god little is talking about. sigh. i think i'm just slow cos the blurb had reviews from the Independent and all that and it's supposed to be 'a laugh a minute'. i just thought it was a very tragic story, and not a little bit painful and dumb :)

we've been burning money at the arcade. turns out 1. i'm not a very good racer 2. i'm fairly decent at slamming the controls and winning those king of fighter games (by luck) 3. i can't aim for nuts. i.e. when i shoot i mainly just spray the area and hope to catch s1 unawares.

i have no money. but i really want to meet up with people before they disappear into uni!! my number's still the same :)