Window A

How does it get that we get so preoccupied with what being Happy and Content means? And how is it that the more I turn these words over in my head the less Happy and Content we seem to be? It's strange how I need to know that i live with a purpose and that i'm going in the right direction to feel at least slight mollified that i'm not wasting -all- my time doing nothing.

The other day i was talking to xun and her summary of my dilemma was 'You just don't feel popular anymore isn't it'. haha. Perhaps. Not that i ever was popular in the first place. Ok. so it sounds very superficial. but i guess we just want to feel loved :) and sometimes it's difficult because people don't really seem to want to listen anyway and they probably wouldn't notice if i fell into an abyss and was un-recoverable. ?? ?????? ??????