i hate feeling this bored all the time. even when i'm doing something vaguely entertaining the feeling of sian will suddenly creep into my consciousness and ruin everything else for me. (there really isn't a word that is quite as evocative of the feeling of boredom and emptiness as the word sian.) ah well.

my skin feels leathery. the aloevera (which, incidentally, is lu2 hui4 in chinese :) gel is merely holding off the inevitable stage of peeling... v snakey feel to that. not necessarily bad but brings to mind disgusting images of patchy mottled fair/dark skin. oh yeah. reminds me literally of the horny layer of the skin. ermm. that's what it is right? 7 mths of separation (omg. it's been so long?!) from lampengkwan has totally robbed me of any bio knowledge whatsoever. :( somehow the idea of being an insufferable knowitall has always appealed to me :P the spouting of crap just to irritate pple ard me... ahhhh. irresistable :D

oh yeah :) happily... jac commented that it seemed as if my legs got more muscular recently :) the reason for that happily eludes me, seeing how the only time i moved at a pace faster than a walk was monday. when i biked. and moved my limbs. but still :P v v happy. but still. it's highly irritating and i know it but when pple compliment me like that i invariably think of two things: that means my legs were horrendous before? or does that mean my legs are fatter now?! i mean like. hello? incurably vain and horrible pig. sigh.

was scouring through my wallet today during math lect (differentiation which is alternately a pain in the ass and the most fun topic yet :) anyway. my ic was *no* where to be found!!! freaked the hell out of me... then i was thinking... 100 bucks for replacement.. oh no... and i so liked the photo on it too... and totally irrelevant stuff like that. but. i called jurong west library and realised that i left it there.. tho the woman who picked up was disgustingly horrible and tried to con me that it wasn't there and then i got desperate and i think it was in my voice and she finally admitted that it was there. so now i have to make a trip down to jurong point, get sidetracked by various highly interesting shops, pick up a couple of boxes of granola bars and whatever crap :) what a nice excuse :P

speaking of excuses.. is there anyway i can convince my mom to let me go for lam's airport departure on wednesday? sigh. i can't think of any... considering how she explicitly told me no already :( sometimes i wish she would just let me judge what's best for myself, and then sometimes i just accept it as a obligatory side effect to having an over-caring mom :/

i keep sleeping during lectures and talks.. it seems as if all you have to do is give me a chair, set s1 to talking in the front of the lt or audi and i'll automatically shut my eyes and sleep.. it's not even a conscious thing! i'll train my eyes on the speaker and then suddenly he/she would disappear to give way to the image of the back of my eyelids. and then i freak and wonder whether he/she saw that cos it's horrid to speak to sleeping pple :(

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oh groovy! there's a new product.. spray-on pantyhose :P just spray onto legs and you're ready to go :)
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just realised that jireh's blog links to lv and estee lauder and absolut vodka! :D ah well. but. they aren't exactly awe inspiring
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oh yeah. i realised that i'm one of few foureleveners who don't drool at the sight of beer/vodka/wine. sigh. i think it's hereditary.. my dad goes beetroot after one can of beer. my mom is alcohol-intolerant. my sis goes woozy and a bit nuts after one glass of white wine. with dinner. sigh! at least it's a blessing for my liver.. which i suspect isn't too strong anyway :P
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does it work? if people start linking you with somebody else then after a while it really becomes true? seems to be happening right before my eyes :P but then again. everyone's so shy so i dunno :D but. quite an interesting social phenomenon, n'est-ce pas?
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i realised that staying in a tiny house with 6 other pple can be alternately vivacious and downright irritating. when i'm feeling sociable, i can always find someone to do sthg with me.. including watching sex and the city and drool over their crazy clothes :P and all sorts of korean/jap serials (btw. i way prefer jap drama but they don;t seem to sell them anymore :( but. when i'm feeling pesky i have to lock myself in the toilet to get any sort of privacy... i love nights tho :) when my sis isn't crazily foul, me and bro and her sing songs loudly out of tune with lousy harmonising and basically gossipping about all sorts of shit. it's amazing how darkness and the lull of sleep lowers all sort of defences and everything just comes out.
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i wanna have photographic memory so that i can not study, i can place names to faces immediately without the embarrassment and guilt that forgetting brings, and so i don't have to re-remember my dances quite so torturously.
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i could go on and on. it's like when i was writing ace journal for blin --- basically an exercise in free association... whatever comes to my mind. and since my mind doesn't shut down (most of the time anyway) it's sort of like verbal diarrhoea. no linkage whatsoever. no point to anything i'm trying to say. and i must say. i'm gaining stamina :P
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i love crys' new template. it's gorgeously crystal. it's a crystal frog! for some reason. i've always associated her aura with green. it's like you think of pple as colours. but then most of the time it fails because i realise that the association tends to reflect her house colour :( what a waste of my time. like fuzzy is a yellow person def. lam? can't really tell. aman's def red. jo's brownish. ah well. screw colours
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i love the idea of having a personal scent. a scent that's keyed to you and you alone so that whoever who smells it is immediately reminded of you. unfortunately. i have a lousy nose that can't differentiate btw smells.. like. i can't tell the diff between happy and say.. some calvin klein scent even if my life depended on it. so the idea's all nice and romantic.. but. i'll probably just get sthg that smells vaguely good and heck care about the layers of lavender and lilac and whatever :P
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i want my yearbook. sadly currently in lam's possession
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i like artemis fowl. he uses a powerbook.
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i love you all!! :D

i'm a burning ember... a going-to-peel-red piece of overcooked meat. sigh. it always happens the same way: a nice hot sunny day, an unresistable promise of a glowing tan, and then the pain :/ ah well. i was supposed to tan! into a nice honey colour... but unfortunately.. all i am now is a lobster... anyone up for lobster sashimi? you could eat me alive and i doubt i could feel more pain... but having ranted enough about the pain of sunburn... oh how fun the past few days have been!! haha :P

shopping and bowling and library-ing and movie-ing and neoprint-taking-frenzy and sentosa-madness have done wonders to my life :P ah well. charlene and i have resolved to train up nice bods to fit into nice bikinis in the near future.. tho knowing our definition of near future, we'll probably nv ever end up within 10 feet of a bikini :/

gee. i keep having to remind myself that i'm a pain junkie.. i'm a pain junkie. the sun is my enemy not my friend. i am solidifying now into a moisturiser caked lobster... i think i'll stay here for the rest of the night and not go to sleep.. i'm a natural source of heat now that i can see heat waves emanating from my face... haha :P save money.
i should take stock of my injuries: burnt --> scalp, eyelids, face, ears, earlobes, shoulder blades, fingers, palm. ah well. the sun is my enemy not my friend. can s1 pls remind me of that the next time i refuse to put on sunblock? whack me over the head with the bottle or sthg...

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the cats prowling around the gates are such pretty little things.. tho i always have the sneaky feeling that they linger there solely to earn cuddles and canoodles from pple like me :P ah well. not that i mind.. the deep-throated purrs are so gratifying and the way they twine in and out of my legs and nudge my calves and lie down on my shoes :) oooh.. kitty heaven! of course. i don't really like the siamese cos it's pushy and dao. but still... when it practically followed me home i was won over :) ah well. and now i really love cats... but not fat cats like garfield tho.

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it's the queerest of feelings. my skin is burning up but i'm incredibly cold cos of the night breezes.. like the way sometimes you are so so thirsty but desperately need to use the toilet.

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my class is so weird.. like the class guys went to sentosa only to leave after a couple of hours to go lan. like hello? they went all the way from sentosa to ginza plaza to lan. yeah. ah well. the priorities of different pple :) but. amazingly many pple turned up! ah well :P it's amazing what a novelty this is...

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realised after jurong point that i don't like fish.. can't pet can't purr to tell you they love you... can't talk like nemo... what a rip-off. but. apparently eugene's tank is like a mini chem experiment in keeping them alive... *and* he also apparently talks fish...

eugene : i gotta give my tank a complete water change. remind me to buy salt 2molow. the nitrate content iz too high, some of fishes seem to be dying. haiz so sad
me: oh man... ermm how do you happen to know?
him: well u can see frm the way the fishes look at u with those "pls change my tank water" kinda look.

yeah right. ah well. i guess i don't really like fish all that muchos except evilly to eat them :( oh no.. what would nemo say?

anyway. i love these days and i don't want them to end! haha :P gosh i sound so whiny! but still. anyway. getting block tests results back.. doing horrendously. i am so in need of studying. can we please please study together? otherwise i'll nv get anything done!

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life's so unfair it's cliched. the iranian twins died today one after another. yeah they knew the risks, but did they ever for one minute really really believed that they would never see the sun rise again after the anaesthesia kicked in?

ooooh :) hilarious gollum commercial!

just caught up with reading pple's blogs... read jane's one about missing 411... and it's made me all moody :( it's really as if everything has just dissolved right before my eyes and slipped through my fingers i can't grasp hold of anything. and now lam's going and it's all really falling apart. i never really appreciated how utterly together we were as a class that pple knew to avoid me when i was pms-ing and we avoided other pple with pms and we did such crappy things together that just doesn't seem like it's likely to happen in jc anymore. i freaked out on the bus today when i realised that i couldn't remember our physics tchr's name.. but i can *so* remember her face! aargh. this is *not* good. and. i really liked the way classes were held and not the way it is totally screwed up now. and i feel ranty and horrid and i'm basically in a really foul mood tho since today's last day of common tests it should be better than this.
saw dalena today in orchard and realised how far apart we are... like lam said. it's super weird to rediscover your friends four years after you last left them and we rgp bunch really didn't keep in touch did we? i miss *those* crazy days too... ares :) and zeus and hermes and hera and everyone. it was crazy... but now i realise i really don't remember anything much about then. and i don't want to have gaps in my memory especially where there are supposed to be good ones.

and now i feel all horrible reminiscing cos it helps nothing and only makes pple feel worse. let's never lose touch shall we? if need be i'll rent a jet and we'll all fly over to america to have a nice little jaunt together just so that we'll never leave again. aw man. that so doesn't make sense (which reminds me of my chinese essay)

sigh. yesterday was a *bad* day man! ah well. but at least i finished studying chem :P except for rxn kinetics which i absolutely detest! ah well. look on the bright side i guess :) which sure was what i was trying to look at yesterday and failing miserably.

so. at the dentist's, he promptly began to demonstrate to me that to be a dentist, one has to be ruthless and uncaring abt the pain one's patient is under, able to speak gibberish that frighten the hell out of her, strong, and able to ignore the disgusting sight of drooling patients. sigh. so now my tooth is filled and inflamed (again) because the cement he used to secure the fillings were driven up inside the tooth. and voila. that cost me 300 bucks... and *sigh* naive girl that i am. brought only 150. so am now happily in debt to the dentist, in addition to having a painful tooth. but i wonder... cos supposedly my tooth is dead technically i.e. no nerve. then why does my tooth ache? doesn't make any sense. hrmph.

so then, i went to orchard library in an attempt to study chem there... and since the place was full up and not all that conducive to a studying spree, i left with sword-born and ah well. oh :) i love tiffany's~ i mean. so maybe it's overpriced and all that.. but the boutique's gorgeous :) ah well. i don't suppose they'd let me would they? ruin their image :) sigh. anyone keen to break in with me sometime? my sis got a v nice tiffany charm bracelet there for her birthday.. :/

so anyway. then i missed 77, and when i finally got home, realised that no one was at home and that i had forgotten my keys. sigh. my grandma went to have a spree on nel and my brother's on camp, my mom still at camp.. sigh. so i buckled down to study on the little table in the void deck.. tho i must say.. quite a nice place :) it was v v windy and basically v shuang :) ah well. of course. being the optimistic person that i am, i didn't even notice this supposed 'run of bad luck' until lam pointed it out to me cos i sms-ed her at regular intervals to update her on my sucky situations :) ah well.

i wanna go shopping b4 the sales are all over :( cos i need: berms, shorts, tops and various other stuff. weelllll. anyone wanna come? :P

i hate exams... they *always* without fail (ooh. there's that word again:) make me feel guilty.. tho that, i suppose, has to do with the fact that i suck at studying. how can anyone sit down for hours on end just stuffing things into their head? sigh. it's like my attempt to do econs today.. which i have happily nearly finished except for elasticity and monopoly :D yay! i mean. first day of real studying.. maybe last too.. shite. damn screwed. almost wish i were in lam's shoes and happily going off to study elsewhere. and then i realise that i would have absolutely no notion of what i want to study. which means i would probably prefer a 6mth hiatus to find out what the hell i wanna do.

i'm afraid i don't make much sense to myself anymore. oh man. freaky. evil laughs on chinese drama serials are 100% reproducible.. at least on *all* chinese drama serials... the same old "haaahaaahaahaaa" and the villain throws his/her head back and opens their mouths wide.. displaying decayed blackened rotting teeth. ooh. delectable :P

haha... oh god.. watching the new chinese drama serial now on channel u is hilarious. just realised that there are certain set phrases that practically every serial *has* to use... �����5�b�سɷ� ok. weird typing. but anyhow.. sigh. v sian now. should probably go to sleep.. got disgustingly painful dental appointment to think about for tmr :(

as for the piano exam? don't ask.

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ooh. gorgeous. i love the word 'ai' in traditional chinese k'ters :D

I'm Ross Gellar from Friends!

Take the Friends Quiz here.

created by stomps.





oh man! nerdy?! sigh. i like ross. but he's so. geeky.

ah well. am ploughing thru hp5 now... must say.. ploughing is an awfully apt word considering that the k'ters are acting way out of k'ter and everyone's being bitchy and irritating. am praying it gets better...

shite. exams are *this* monday... am so terribly screwed! what am i going to do? and the piano is not going to help matters seeing how the one i'm going to play on for the exams is a lousy kawai piano that barely squeaks when you bang on it.. and the pedals suck and the tone is just gross. eeeks. i need all the help i can get!

yeuchs. it's disgustingly hot recently... wth is wrong with the weather system? aaargh. i keep bathing and keep sweating immediately after i barely feel clean before i have to go shower again. sigh.

i love the morning :) when i do get up early enough and don't feel too groggy that is... there's just this feeling of wondrous solitude when everyone else is asleep and only you're awake, padding around softly, free to do whatever you want :) i feel postitively industrious! haha... anyway. i really wanted to blog today cos i found my ace journal that blin made us write :)

read through it... freaked myself out :p i sound errmmm. yeah. brainless-ish. i wonder if i really was like that? horrifying... :) ah well. periodic rereadings of journal entries seem to do wonders for the ego :D haha.. especially stupid stuff that blin actually replied to! 'don't mind all those spelling liberties i'm taking, ok?' and he replies 'alright'. eeps. and you can actually track my progress from reluctant journal writer to prolific entry maker... haha...

hmmm. does anyone remember me reading accident by elie wiesel? i *don't* even when i read what i supposedly wrote about it... talk about short term memory! sigh. and the v bad a math relief teacher we had before mrs kwan who wrote: 'please settle down quickly' on the board talk about incompetency! sheesh. oh :) me and blin had a nice elitist talk about how we couldn't condone incompetency :P haha :) and then i even had a v nice quote from einstein --> 'all great minds have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds'. ah well. talk abt. haha.. am beginning to think that my dance tchr is one such person. (the latter of course... the type who ju1 ni4 xiao3 jie2 :) sigh. had to have a committee meeting just to draw up a work plan that involves us jotting down *every* single practice that we are ever going to have! i mean. crazy!

oh. and i realised that my 'angsty' entries (or at least those that were supposed to be angsty) were nothing of that sort... and i vaguely remember being pissed off horribly in my entries? sigh. there was only one. and it wasn't even. it said stuff like 'i'm in a totally foul mood now'. 'this is sucky'. haha... guess i'm too happy a person to be angsty :p even fashionable angsty :)

and i love free associations :) they're always so fun... there's this one where i wrote 'what you see in the mirror is the face you present to the world'... hmmmm. v v traumatising right now. thinking of all the days where i just looked positively awful... and the world saw it? haha.. ah well. am just indulging my vanity.. pardon me. btw. vanity is half-inborn and half-inculcated. have realised that while all my family members begin to preen at a v young age, we are in fact encouraged by each other to do so :) like yesterday... i thought my dad was going to sleep when he whipped out a tube of the mask thing.. and promptly 'applied a thick film of mask' to his face :) ah well. he takes better care of his skin than me... and he isn't even as prone as me to break out!! eeeks. i am ashamed of myself :p

anyway. the vain me has to stop now and go get packed for today's chalet... and preen and stuff too... sigh. anyhow. lam... remember this quote? v morbid v interesting... and i don't know where we got it from.


i was once more struck by the truth of the ancient saying: man's heart is a ditch full of blood. the loved ones who have died throw themselves down on the bank of this ditch to drink the blood and so come to life again; the dearer they are to you, the more of your blood they drink - nikos kazantzakis zorba the greek

my younger self doesn't seem to be part of the same self that i remember

ah well. finally got my lazy bum off my chair and went off to do some swimming yesterday like i've been promising myself to do ever since i noticed the *ahem* less-than-sightly bulges. big mistake. forgot that sunday is 'family day' and as such, some irritating family would be in the pool shouting and screaming and basically just get into the way of more *serious* swimmers (serious in comparison anyhow...) sigh. i hate pesky kids... these were the obnoxious DAAAAAADDDDYYYYY type of kids... and the showoff daddies who would dive underwater and hold their breaths and when they get out would shout 'SEE? DADDY DID IT!' sheesh. and they *would* insist on staking out the middle part of the pool. which means i couldn't swim any sort of distance at all... just confine myself to the deep end and swim across the small bits and swim back again. grrrr.. v pissifying. but. there was this v nice little girl in the deep end with me.. rolling her eyes (i think cos i couldn't see clearly without my glasses) at the irritating kids... sigh. oh. anyway. she was v nice cos she was all quiet :P and she looked totally natural in the water... diving and cartwheeling and evrything :) a v pretty picture she made :) ah well. the pool is getting v gross.. and i was wondering whether all the pesky little kids were peeing into the water...

ah well. i'm supposed to be doing physics now.. and i got the hang of motion in a circle. maybe it's cos i finally copied out the lecture notes shuyun lent me for weeks :p haha.. now it's time for me to go borrow the gravitation ones... sigh. ah well. for all that i adore astrophysics, i can't understand the mathematical stuff behind it.. just the major concepts i think... and it's sort of like when you read the books and they go: 'using the formula of xxyyzz, these scientists were able to prove so and so' and i just swallow it whole... sigh. will nv make a good scientist... ah well. i always believe that you should never go into a field where you will prob just remain mediocre and average... i mean. if you're going to do sthg for the rest of your life, you might as well be *good* at it.. right? sigh. that's why i can't make my career choice :( tt's so elitist tho :/

sigh sigh. oh. :) sthg happy :P i was so bored yesterday i painted my nails pomegrenate grenade.. haha :) this maroon-y colour. which according to my aunt looks super bitchy.. haha :) ah well. it's only on my toenails... err wait. like i told lam.. make that it's on my toenails *and* my toes, and my fingers and all around...:) hmmm. strike manicurist off my career list as well :p

yeeeha! :D just came back from johore :p with tons of clothes :) or maybe not tons.. but enough to make me v v happy :) finally got a v nice denim skirt... bleached and all.. and v short.. shall have to relearn how to sit in a skirt just to go ard in it :) yay!!!

aaargh! am v traumatised... have a distended belly!!! hrmph. and my grandma was only just telling me i was becoming anorexic... like yeah! anorexic pple don't get distended bellies, unless they have that malnourishment disease :/ hrmph. what ever am i going to do? sheesh.

anyway on brighter note. am going shopping on sunday! :) heeee :D gee :) am expecting a rash of utterly fun clothes :) and btw. if anyone sees danceable-in three quarter pants that look cool and cargoish. pls tell me :) love ya all! btw. just fell in love with audioslave's like a stone today. ah well. took a couple of tries cos it isn't exactly a fall in love type of song

and the moon is awful round today

innocent kiss - you're cute and sweet and like it
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aww :) this is *so* sweet... :):):)

i wanna run through the halls of my high school i wanna scream at the top of my lungs :)

haha :D how does one scream at the top of one's lungs? hmmmm. quite a feat that would be... oh. i feel cough-y... i think i caught the cough from the white scary horse at rda... he had such protruding eyes... they were like plums... but he did love carrots all so much :) i love horses! i love the stable smell.. including all the manure... tho i much prefer the stable smell sans manure :) ahhhh :D was so blissful.. cept that since it was the first time i'd ever seen them up close and personal it really was quite intimidating.. they're such quiet animals and it would seem as if they had snuck up on you when it's just that you didn't quite notice them until you were right up next to them.. me and charlene were filling up the water buckets when she suddenly was like whoa! cos this huge ex racehorse was just standing right in front of her :) ahhhhh!!!

lam! you must come and see them.. even if it's just for a couple of days... i swear you fall for them and refuse to leave them (and the rest of us!! :) yeah :D cept maybe the rickety white pony who looks discomfitingly like an old person... hrmmmm. i realised that although i've been in love with horses since those pony books i've never really seen them :) cept in the zoo i think.... ahhh!!! :) *in throes of ecstasy*

anyway. awwwww :) hee... i guess i'm only good for saying stuff like that now.. monosyllabic noises of happiness :)

Talent


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ha! jealous yet? ah well. i was thinking. what's with the v ugly writing....

aaargh. am lost. wth is valence bond theory exactly? they keep giving me vague description and what they can do using the valence bond theory.. but help! what does it state??? it is a theory.. and thus *has* to state sthg..doesn't it?

damn the blasted tea. now i'm fully awake at 2 in the morning and with my nose running like a horse. sigh. ah well. my dad just came back with tau sa pia from penang :) boxes and boxes of them! mmmmm :D ah well. at least now i can't complain that there's nothing to eat.

oh. i'm a new convert... nv realised why jane and lam and gang liked john mayer... but haha :) as i said. newly converted. tho i only like a couple of songs :) i love the guitar... ahhh... am always a sucker for guitarred music :) haha :)

here i am. crouched in a dark corner with the powerbook in front of me... discomfortingly warm, unbearably awake when i would rather be sleepy... sigh. this *really* is jostling my internal clock. hate it. hmmm. oh yeah. sadly have to announce that my mom gave the squirt toy to my younger cousins. am v sad... didn't even get to play with it much!!! and it lights up and squirts water :/ sigh. am seriously deprived. grrrr....

anyway. have realised that i'm totally out of touch with books... the only ones i've been reading are re-reads... trashy rereads at that :p which reminds me. is eoin colfer (however you spell it) any good? i remember leafing thru it in borders and thought it was pretty childish... sigh. but. ah well. i could always borrow it from eugene i guess.. not that he would like to lend them to me... being a scary person who insists that i keep his books in utterly pristine condition otherwise i'd have to fund his new harry potter book. sigh. there are so many books that i've been meaning to read but nv got around to.. like frank herbert's dune... like some jane austen... or mark twain or sthg... sigh. but all i've been reading is jennifer roberson.. (which i must say tho, is brilliant for entertainment :) appallingly predictable.. but i love anticipating the oh-so-sweet-tragic love storylines... haha :) damn sucker that i am.

i wanna go shopping! if only just so that i won't have to stare at my cupboard everytime i go out in search for sthg respectable to wear... saw a lovely pair of pink boardshorts at topshop today... but crys says they're too skimpy. sigh. if only i had legs that went on forever :) haha :) it's such a nice phrase isn't it? legs that go on forever :) sounds like sthg out of a trashy novel :p am rambly now but i don't much care :) am *always* rambly... an accursed trait.

ahhh!! i really wanna go to sleep... if only because i know that if i don't i won't be able to stay awake tmr... sigh. anyway. reading jennifer roberson again brings back sweet memories of stolen books from des and furtive reading under the table during math and bio and whatever class it happened to be... and pooling money together just to get the latest books :) ahhh. :):):) such pleasant thoughts. and reminding me of lir :) and how me and lam would talk about what lir we wanted to have :) i would love a panther :) or a hawk... or a wolf.. somehow all this fantasy reading has left me rather well-disposed towards the wolves :) what with julia and the wolves and david eddings and assorted other fantasy writers who have this fascination with them...

anyway. my mom is taking some lifesciences course... for what reason i have no idea considering that she is a chem tchr and in no way bio inclined.. and she was asking about genomes and RNA and stuff... and it appalls me that i do not remember them much!! aaaargh. starting to regret not taking bio in jc... considering that i love bio so much! sigh. maybe not as much as lam. but still a lot. despite hating the fact that evry bio syllabus requires the memorisation of thick dusty textbooks. but i seriously enjoy puzzling out the craziness of asexual and sexual reproduction and knowing how the stomach and intestines work and even memorising the insanely complicated brain processes... sigh. and now i'm stuck with physics.. which utterly baffles me... tho i love the cosmos and our galaxy and the purported big bang. i have no idea why we orbit and not crash into each other and explode in a sublimely gorgeous supernova that would be visible for millions and trillions of lightyears.

i miss the easy camaraderie of 411... where everyone just says whatever they wanna say. during class during break whatever. somehow. it's much more strained in my class now. i mean. i love my class and all... but somehow. it just feels weird. like it was all put together and left there to survive if it would or perish or whatever. it feels sort of traitor-ish to say this, having championed the niceties and the brilliance of my class :) but. i guess we'll survive :) and time will change it all... afterall. 311 kinda sucked for a while didn't it? cos :) all the teachers hated us :p or maybe not hate... but we were always the cavalier dishonourable malfeasants as compared to the mugger 413 :p (no offense :) ah well. haha :) not that blin or ting ever cared much anyway :)

oh well. i miss spouting r&j for whatever reason... the whole 'o she doth teach the torches to burn bright' and all that :) tho i must say. i don't particularly miss the friar... :) hated his lines.

wow. amazing! i actually got into blogger for the first time in days... ah well. i had tons to blog about yesterday.. but it has lost its immediacy so effectively, now i have nothing to say. cept. sigh. i hate this business of farewells. it bothers me.

You are Trinity, from "The Matrix."
Strong, beautiful- you epitomize the ultimate
heroine.


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hmmmm. i feel so bummer-ish... woke up at 6 plus today to go to school for exco meeting... meeting the tchrs-in-charge.. so damn crappy lah.. went there for like half an hour and went home at 8.30.... like waste of time... and i realised that these tchrs really have sthg abt decency.. maybe it's just abt hc -- you see, our costume for our dance is jazz pants and a tback black top... then she was like disapproving of it because the more well-endowed dancers may you know... sigh. and all the time i thought it was because the version that agnes showed her had thin straps... ah well.

oh. and after i came back i conked out on the bed and ermmm. woke up at 1 to eat hokkien mee then went back to sleep... sigh. i really suspect that i'm turning into a veritable pig (like evryone has been telling me :P) whatever!

jo! it was really nice talking to you too.. i really miss you all :/ like evryone... :( it's just been feeling so weird and out of place without you all :/ sigh. i love my class now but i still miss you all :/ ok. let's stop here... hate reminiscing like that! oh :) i love mac's... they've got the finding nemo toys out now! i guess i shall have to buy happy meals evry week now! :) the pufferfish bloat is so cute :P and all the others too... :)

oh yeah da... getting a new phone is so overrated... i mean the phone is v nice and all.. but not worth getting overexcited about! haha :) ah well. i guess it's cos i'm not that phone crazy :) oh yeah. guilty indulgence: chemistry... as in the bloody lame and lousily scripted show... and not the subject :) haha...i now know why lam insisted on watching light years despite the evry second cringing.... :P i think the people are damn funny... the guy's sissy ways and the girl's pseudo-accent and "guy-ish" manner :) damn lame... and hilarious :)

anyone wants to go watch reloaded with me? please please please??? i want to go cos i want to be able to watch revolutions at the end of the year.. and also vaguely cos i really want to see how good/bad it is! :/ sigh. if i hadn't fallen down then i would have happily gone and seen it damn early with lam and yl and anna and ermm. their class. whatever. at least i'd have watched it already :/ or bowling for columbine.. or how to lose a man in ten days :) or sthg. cept i'm feeling poor recently with nary 5 bucks in my wallet.. sigh. i welcome treats! :P

ah well. as bernard so kindly reminded me today... no exercise is making me fat and unhealthy... (not that i wasn't unhealthy before.. but now even more so :P) hrmph. haven't run in weeks.. nor played touch, nor danced much :/ and ate laksa and char kuay teow and cheong fun and other various delicacies :D hahaha :D i'm telling myself it's indulgence and i'd get over it in a couple of days.. so that i wouldn' feel guilty.. but bernard's got me all guilty again... :/ hrmph.

oh. i *love* watching bball!! cept for the lame attempts by councillors to get us cheering.. it was damn exciting lah!! :) yay... love the bballers for putting up such entertainment :)

justin's pep talk (delivered in sore shouts, with peppy tone) : i know a lot of you don't see the reason why we should chant "defence" but if we chant it loud enough... *dramatic pause* and *only* if we chant it loud enough--- then it would make the hoop look a *lot* smaller.

err.. you just *had* to be there...

:) haha... xueling is like damn zai! and first time i've seen sip sok and xiaoming playing :) and weilin too!! v v fun... nv knew our hc bball team was so good.... and guys too :) haha :) can imagine how bloody high they wre after winning double champs :) i so want to have a holiday!! considering hc already has 7 titles.. i think we should have a day off at least! if not one day for each title :P

anyway. i feel so sian. there are so many things to do and no time to do it... like i would run for dance i/c in fac com... but i utterly have no time what with chinese and french and touch and dance... eeeks. i want a clockstopper.

it's been hot hot hot and v hot.. heat that leeches all your strength out of you and all your determination to get things *done* just sublimes... never to be seen again. i can't believe my year is so action packed :/ like hello? aaargh. i know i've been moaning about this to just about evry1 i've been talking to --- 1 week to sats, 3 weeks to piano, 4 weeks to block tests... and all that. just utterly *aaaargh* don't even know what to say. what's with this year?? sigh. too much excitement for my weak heart :/

ah well. let me attempt to cheer myself up.
can't.

oh :) looking at my classblog makes me happy :D i love the template! sixnine.blogspot.com :D go look... cept of course there aren't any posts. at all. of interest at least... cos errmmm. as of now. there are all of 4 members.. one of them being me :/ how disgusting. waste my time.

had the oasis interview today for the australian science summer school prog... then mr pang said i looked v diff from my photo... sigh. said i looked fatter in my photo... *grrr* ah well. accordingly to evryone i look v skinny... which i don't think so... which i suppose is just a problem with my mental self-image... have no idea. i guess it's something abt the light :D light rays bend around me and create an illusion that i am skinnier than i really am! cos i really think i look normal... which people say is not the case :/ sigh.

whatever. this is so trivial i wanna puke :/ evryone around me seems to be having problems with one thing or another, more often than not with all the relationship crap or just general stupidity of certain people around them... sigh. i hate sounding angsty and eeeeks. ah well. anyway. tmr going to watch the bball matches:) yay... gd luck to yall :)

hmmm. to any of the sixnine pple who are blogsurfing... please go check your mail! finally got a classblog up.. but currently in desperate need of a new template... go do sthg!

just went to get new phone... new line... yups. hate my new no... anyway. my old one is still working i guess... but it's just the sim card sans phone.. so i guess i won't be checking that regularly! in case you wanna know it. just ask me online or sthg. abit weird to post it online i guess :) ah well. anyhow. i was so happy going home early today! then the heat just got to me... trekking home in the blazing heat really does horrors to one's psyche... i was damn pissed off by the time i got to my doorstep... sheesh.

to pple who haven't seen me recently :) i've healed! you can't even tell much that i was ever whammed in the face :)

isn't it rather scary to have someone reading a steamy novel next to you in the bus? you have *no* idea what's going to through their head... but at the same time, it's just so.. revolting! ah well. all those cheap money-spinning novels... :)

ahhh :) finally got to go shopping... got my top for mad... this t-back top.. not unlike the 411 class shirt... but tighter. *way* tighter.. i've got damn broad bones :/ ah well. why do pple bother making ugly clothes? i mean. such a waste of resources. except maybe there are people who are willing to wear ugly clothes... :) sigh. actually got really cute doggy earrings for crys! but. she wouldn't get her ears pierced.. so too bad :) they're mine now! *grins* i love that... how you get something for someone but something just crops up. oh crys: i would still give them to you if you'd go get your ears pierced! but then you'd have to wait a while b4 you can wear them... and they're dangly too! :):)

sigh. nowadays i'm perpetually hungry!!! i mean. i wake up with my stomach growling... i spend lessons moaning about how hungry i am... and i come home hungry and go to sleep hungry!!! aaaargh. i hate this. how am i supposed to grow? err. not that i think i have much potential to grow... but you know... just in case :) ah well. people's bdays have been coming fast and furious! happy belated to: crys! shuyun! yanxi! and happy early bdays to: shauna! shiping! hope you all love turning seventeen :) i dunno.. it's not sweet sixteen... nor can you go learn driving like you can if you were eighteen.. but i guess :) it's still a fun age to be :D ah well. chinese orals are coming... should practice i suppose. so people: when you see me :) talk in chinese! i need the practice... otherwise my conversation with the teacher would be limited to err... ni hao ma? *grins* hmmm. oh yeah. according to my chinese tchr... it seems as if i have to go prac my chinese twang... to sound decently chinese... but now i'm speaking weird cos of the teeth... then how? i dunno... i think my lips are closing weird now... maybe cos of the wire... v braces-ish.. but less painful :D

War Photograph
Kate Daniels
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A naked child is running
along the path toward us,
her arms stretched out,
her mouth open,
the world turned to trash
behind her.

She is running from the smoke
and the soldiers, from the bodies
of her mother and little sister
thrown down into a ditch,
from the blown-up bamboo hut
from the melted pots and pans.
And she is also running from the gods
who have changed the sky to fire
and puddled the earth with skin and blood.
She is running--my god--to us,
10,000 miles away,
reading the caption
beneath her picture
in a weekly magazine.
All over the country
we're feeling sorry for her
and being appalled at the war
being fought in the other world.
She keeps on running, you know,
after the shutter of the camera
clicks. She's running to us.
For how can she know,
her feet beating a path
on another continent?
How can she know
what we really are?
From the distance, we look
so terribly human.

ah well. piano exam is 23rd june --- at least that means i have around a month to squeeze in all my practice and evrything... esp since i can't go for touch anymore :/ and.
err... i can't seem to input chinese! how am i supposed to finish my online chinese assignment??

bloody lakers.

bloody 76ers.

thanks everyone who left me nice getwell msgs... :) it's not as bad as it seems! it is bad but ah well. all accidents are bad, n'est-ce pas? at least. this is one of those 'could-have been worse scenarios'. love you all :D

sigh. follow up treatment sucks so! if only after the crash everything will heal by itself.. it isn't the impact that kills me. it's the aftermath: no solid food, puckered lips, drilled teeth, the prospect of teeth falling out in middle age... yups.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Third Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Low
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

oh my god... the anaesthetic is wearing off... my entire mouth aches like shit and i look like a victim of battery... quite scary really... the whole works: bloody chin, above lip area... there are bad scrapes.. and my lips are now truly like fish lips... twice as large as before! and kahli knows they looked like fish enough before! this is so surreal. i mean yeah.. i've read the whole crap abt how if your tooth falls out you're supposed to keep it in milk and everything first and get yourself double quick to a dentist to reattach it.. but how the hell was i supposed to think that it would be me? i always imagined myself as the person rushing to get milk to put the tooth in... not the person being rushed to the dentist :/

oh yeah :) according to my mom. i've had like incredibly bad luck with mishaps... first time was when i was 3 or sthg... fell off the baby chair and landed on my head... it was christmas eve. then when i was in k2... scalded my hand with boiling oil or sthg... it was another holiday.. and today's vesak day.. and i get a battered face... had better treat holidays with caution now! *grins*

ah well. am comforting myself with the thought that i'm a pain junkie now.. but the pain's coming back... ah well. shall recount to you what happened so i don't have to repeat the story again and again... so. we were having cheerleading prac. and we were even finishing already... wanted to run thru our stunts (me and charlene) so we started with the flip. i thought it was trial. she thought it was for real. and sigh. the next thing i knew was liquid in my mouth.. didn't even hurt... i wasn't even going to start crying until charlene started crying like shit... and i started too.. then of course. since it's a public holiday and all there weren't even any dentists open.. sheesh. so. got sent back home by another huishan and her friend and my aunt sent me to nuh...

it's so crappy! even tho i'm standing there clutching a bloody gauze in my mouth and the bottle of soya milk which my tooth was in, i had to clear sars tests... and after about an hour all they did was to let a nurse ask me how i fell. sheesh. and thank gdness my dad somehow managed to contact a dental surgeon who was willing to go back to help me re-attach the bloody tooth... ah well. so now the situation is this. tooth no. 21 is temporarily reattached till i get it x-rayed tmr... and even then it might not be 'externally reabsorbed'. and even if it is. it would only have a lifespan of 10 to 15 years. sigh. how lousy!!

sigh again. don't really know what to say now.. feel damn stupid... but decided i absolutely *had* to document this! haha :D like once in a lifetime... not that i particularly even *want* this one incident.. sigh. ah well. evryone's been really sweet about this but seriously. i think i'm going to be okay :):):)

btw. now haojie thinks i'm crazy cos i sounded a bit too happy in my sms-es i think :) anyway. am just hoping the swelling will subside. and i won't have to look this ugly for the rest of my life. and the whole-life-flash-before you shit? it doesn't work. or maybe i just wasn't in a lifethreatening situation... cos all there was was numbness.

am v hungry now... waiting for supper from newton.. :) growling :D
haha :) our escapades to paopaocha are so fun :D we just sprawl outside the shop and drink bubble tea, eating nuggets and fries and whatever else and talk crap :D and with charlene and joyce ard we never seem to lack in the crapping dept! :D i mean. we *do* have the presidents of the lamest 'silly pink club' in touch with us!

sigh. pple's days can be so radically different... a brilliantly gorgeous day for someone is just the worst day of their life for another :/ life is so unfair :/ sigh.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

sigh. i think i'm screwed

haha :) stace just msged me online to say gdnite :) how sweet :D makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside *grins*

sigh. hate tests... going to fail both math and econs... didn't study a whit. how disgusting. couldn't even find my math notes so had to make do with a 5 year old textbook that my sis had... eeeks. oh yeah. i so do *not* fish for compliments! hrmph. what an insult. bleargh.

sigh again. now lam is def going to the states.. not that she wasn't def going to the states b4 but now it's like clad in iron or sthg :/ going to miss you you twit! and you didn't even tell me and i had to read it from your blog! like hello! hrmph. ah well. not that i see her v often nowadays anyway. sigh. i don't see *anyone* v often anymore. i mean from rg. sigh. i dunno... just miss the crazy purple classroom and the cockroach condo that really stinked. speaking of which.. where *is* our yearbook?? how inefficient...

ah well. mg dance night is on july dunno what. anyone wants to go? cos my mom's in charge of dance this year, so i guess it's rather easy to get tics... whatever :) it's after block tests i think. today's efforts to study maths was utterly thwarted by lovely bones... sigh. it's v touching i guess.. you have to read it to understand what i mean... sigh. first book i've read in a long time that made me cry :/ hrmph. quite a nice feeling despite everything... just curling up in my couch and reading and crying :) except i was also v sad cos the edges of the cover was bent... hate that! eeeks.

anyway. song stuck in my head today :) fire by des'ree and babyface :) nthg to do whatsoever with my msg-ing program but oh-so-catchy :D

Oh when we kiss
I'm on fire
Your tenderness gives me desire
I can't resist (I can't resist)
your tender lips (your tender lips)
When we kiss (When we kiss, oh, baby)
Ooh - Fire (oh, oh)
Fire

haha :) the typical fire-desire thing :) how appropriate that des'ree sang it :D

ok... so i'm a bit slow noticing the poem :) but ah well... damn tired today... hope everyone's matches went well! *grins* had disgusting sat diagnostic.. like the crappiest thing ever! sigh. was so tired i was dozing off between sections.. how horrendous. then had piano and then had to go back to school for cheerleading! aargh.

oh. but v fun! i love flipping! after the first few unfortunate attempts where i landed damn painfully on my bum and went totally hysterical... i actually landed on my feet! how novel! but now my ankles hurt from the impact... eeeks. haha :) actually. it was charlene that had to work really hard... flipping me... letting me stand on her and stuff... after a while she just couldn't take it anymore... poor girl! :):):) i was just so high from flipping :)

yesterday was brilliant! met up with like many many many pple! :D and got my v weird present... despite reassurances from hweeying, anna and yingling that i look fine in the skirt lynette kahli jane and co gave me i just totally think i look like a sushi bar waitress... sigh. it's just pretty weird.. as in it looks cool in theory... but when i wear it i just ermm. yeah. whatever :/ haha :) the dance night was pretty cool... as in it was too short lah but i loved the mj dance and the syf dance was pretty cool despite the moaning voice... and the rest were pretty cool i guess... oh yeah :D loved the one with the drums! yay :) fantastic drummer :D

ah well.
aaargh. have to study math and econs... test on monday! and i haven't touched it at all.. and am going to eat steamboat buffet lunch if we actually do... and mother's day dinner.... screwed man... :/ i actually still think my hair's pretty weird... am becoming totally obsessed abt it already... :/ ah well. as evryone has been comforting me... hair grows :/ i think. oh. bitchy bingyi. i wore glasses to school today and he said i looked dreadful!!! what a *&%$%@#$ hrmph. whatever!!! shall go study now.

i'm v sad... evrytime i look in the mirror i see a shorn sheep :/ hrmph. so unused to it! haven't got such a short do in like eons!!! haha :D shall think of all the bald canoe guys in comfort :) their heads are so nice and fuzzy! it's like a furry sticker :):):) and it seems as if bald guys tend to rub their heads a lot more! and it's so comical!!! :D haha... oh yeah :D was in the library when i read judith's comment :) how happy-inducing! hehe :D laughed a bit too loud i think... many pple turned round to stare at me :)

fuzzy showed this to me today... positive i've seen it somewhere before but first time i've really read it properly :)

He wishes for the cloths of heaven
Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams.
-- William Butler Yeats

just went to get my hair cut... i guess the word to describe it would be 'uhoh'... haha :) sigh. now my hair is chin length and makes my look totally ermm. studious. to say it in the nicest way possible... oh.. i love book fairs :) there's one in hc now and we're getting 15 bucks subsidies from some edusave grant... and i really want to get the tennyson poem collection! it's utterly gorgeous... and aaargh :) haha :) either that or saki... but saki's seven plus and tennyson is like 17... eeks. ah well. whatever :D love book fairs anyhow

sigh. am growing fat! in the wrong places :/ imagine! i'm growing a double chin... or more accurately... my double chin is growing fatter :/ of the grossest things! :) haha. this sounds damn boliao.. but i am! sigh. anyway. have got nightcrawler on my desktop now... oh.. anyway. don't you think mystique is damn cool? she's so pretty :) and has got such a great figure too :D ah well :) shall go do sthg constructive now... other than finding more ways just to keep staring at my powerbook :) (which. to my frustration, is burning up under my wrists now :/

haha :) so happy! we finally finished the mad dance for track and field! hehe :D yeah man! and i can actually remember the steps! *grins* and during prac today, we decided to choreograph a new mass dance for hc! :D perhaps we can do it for cip! *grins* then we'll finally have a decent mass dance...

eeeks. 2.4 tomorrow! i better not fail... otherwise i'll have to go for remedial pe!! like wth!!! aaargh. and i utterly detest running :/ shall pia i guess. hrmph. whatever. just get it over and done with! *grrrr*

shall go do my long wen2 shrink short and understand-answer now. hate chinese hate chinese hate chinese....

Mystique (Raven Darkholme):
Powers: Shapeshifting


What X-Men character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

ugh. woke up feeling damn sick :/ now my whole nose is clogged up and i can't breathe :/ shall petulantly go listen to faith hill sing 'breathe' anyway... and hope my nose gets the hint *frown*

how crappy! sigh. fire does not support multiple user msging!! so now i'm stuck talking to yl and anna on separate windows!!! and they have to constantly copy and paste my replies so that the other person can see it.. damn complicated... and stressful!!! sigh... and no one knows what i'm talking abt cos the conversation is damn disjointed.... eeeks.

oh :) today was fun... finally went out with lam! and then went to yl's house with anna and lam and lam played lotr on the ps2 :D damn fun!!! haha... course... aragorn/lam was cowardly and ran ard wimpishly :) which is tons better than aragorn/me... who kept getting killed by the cave troll in like 5 seconds! eeeks.not cut out to play games... oh.. i love the grimm's fairy tales :D of course. so far i've only read the first one... the frog -kind /iron henry... quite dumb actually.. bout the frog who picks up the golden ball for the princess and demands to accompany her for everything she does... then when she slams him against the wall he becomes a prince.. and henry is his manservant... who, when the prince turned into a frog, caused 3 iron bands to be formed around his heart to prevent it from bursting with grief... then as he and the princess were in the carriage, they heard sounds of iron bars breaking, and it was the iron bands ard henry's heart breaking :/

interlude: 4-1 to manu!!! ruud hat trick :D

nvm... recently discovered that there is such a thing as animatrix... like eeks! why did i nv know this??? sigh. ah well :) the first episode's pretty cool! yay :) shall go and play isketch now with anna and yl and pple i dunno...

haha :) just came back from touch :D today was a deliriously happy day! birthdays are such nice things to have :):):) thanks everyone who was so nice to me today :)
ok. so the day started with fred and alvin giving me this top... which, in addition to the fact that it's shockingly pink and skimpy, is ultra tiny (an xs masquerading as an m!) !! imagine my shock :D but quite flattering to think that they think i'm actually small sized... tho of course. fred's rationale is that it's always better to give a m-size to s1 than a L. which i agree with but damn ripcurl for making such small tops!

then yay :) shirley (one of my many 'les' partners:) and fangxi gave me these funkily bright orange laces :) yay... shall spruce up some of my old shoes which actually have shoelaces.... or tie it on my bag or sthg :D yay :D and waikit gave me this pendant and a v v cute notepad :D oh ohoh.... must remember to mention vincent's damn funny note :D typical vince's style... my dearest xiao shanshan... like eeks! haha :D and the rest of the note went on in this vein... damn funny :) maybe shall frame it up :) to remind me of the horrifyingly 'flirtatious' vincent.. quite freaky...ah well. all this meant that i was in utterly no mood to study for the econs essay.... so when it came i was like totally screwed! talking about screwed for tests... heard that many pple got o-s for physics test!!! aargh!!! what am i going to do? sigh. how sad.

but anyway. despite hoping all afternoon for rain so that touch would be cancelled (it didn't) i enjoyed touch muchos :D and after some hard wrangling, managed to get karen to treat us to paopao cha! how fun :D haha :) so of course. on the way i was crapping with melissa and huilin and melissa said that i look and behave like an auntie!!!! horror of horrors! me! auntie! aaargh.. shall nv live it down... hrmph. ah well.

x2 is so bloody cool!!! ahh... of course. the little girl who had the supersonic voice just totally reminded me of charlene... not for size or anything *grins* but cos they're both in possession of an ultra scary voice.... :P i *love* wolverine! haha... mmm. except anna paquin didn't look as pretty in this one as she did in the last one! sthg wrong with the teeth or sthg.. :/

anyhow. shall post this now. and hope it appears....

aaargh!!! i was blogging halfway when i was bloody directed to hotmail!!!!!! sheesh. oh anyway. i think it's really cute! (my fire icon that is :) when anyone tries to talk to me it bounces and bounces on my dock until i click on it :D so it looks a lot like tigger!! :) bloody distracting tho. :):):)

oh yeah. ipod and itunes 4 is out. my stuff is getting outdated! i mean like hello? so freakin fast!!! it's only been a short while :/ hrmph.

had corrective service today... sheesh. was cutting newspapers for 'future cs generations' <--- direct quote from jt the disciplinary mistress :) to wipe the windows with... imagine this: cloistered with a v talkative girl who insists on talking to me even tho i quite refuse to talk, sawing/hacking thru stacks of neverending newspapers, hungry and thirsty. sigh. haha :D after which we had delicious thai food at thai noodle house :) the four of us were going utterly nuts :D laughing and laughing.. was on laughing gas :D i laughed so hard my stomach and my chest hurt... and i nearly spurted out what i was drinking :) which was in fact, what charlene did :) all the water. into the plate :) i think the guy was horrified...

maths today was quite scary. not in anyway to do with mr lui.. but eugene!! idiot loudmouth... can't remember the exact details.. but it ended up with eugene saying damn loudly that i fantasise abt mr lui all the time. or sthg to that effect. anyway. was so horrified when half the lt turned around and stared... eeeks. hopefully they didn't realise what was going on! :D

anyway. feel intellectual today... got a couple of books to comfort myself from missing x2 today :/ so. am currently multitasking between asimov's guide to science and rushdie's midnight's children and kundera's identity :) need to read faster tho... currently. have to plan econs essays and do gp on hinduism. like hello?! sigh.

miss crys. miss lam. miss evry1! sigh. feeling in a miss-y mood today. aaargh. and lam is leaving so soon! and i don't any free time. how sad is that!!!!

oh my... i seem to be v free? ah well. anyway. just figgered out how to use fire!! so now i can use icq and messenger all at once! brilliant.... :D

hehe :D am posting with my powerbook! yay :D (sorry lam :) anyway. just one thing. you know i was thinking abt a mass ogling session for the powerbook? sigh. my mom thinks that you all may bring sars into the house... so no go!! oh yeah. have you ever realised? it's a pleasure reading instruction books... like the powerbook one.. it kept going 'your powerbook can do..... with your powerbook you can...' and it just went on and on like that for ever *grins* ahhhhh :)

tmr it's presidential elections... i think it's most prob mikael lah... he made the most lasting impression... not to mention that his is the name that most pple remember anyway... :) sigh. hc council is just so... i dunno... unsought after? yeah lah... look at rj with tons of pple vying a few positions... and in hc it's more like council trying to find more pple to run :D how tragic! but anyway. it really is a rather thankless job... i mean... there are tons of ungrateful pple who actually hate council more than anything... haha :D

ah well. did my five items today for napfa... haha :D actually on path for a gold! but of course, unless there is some new way of cheating on the 2.4 or sthg... i'm going to die!!! how disgusting. not my fault i hate running.... sigh. am being punished! sigh sigh sigh.

anyway. am bored with nthg to do! and i don't even have new comments/ tags to occupy myself with :/ am sad. hrmph.

wheeee!!!

woohooo!!!!

am quite delirious now! :) got powerbook!!! i mean ok.. we all have to share it.. but still!!! a powerbook!!!! :):):):):)

let me regale you with the details of this glorious day :) firstly. we had a utterly splendidful tim sum brunch at charming garden :D ahhhh :) then we were supposed to be going home when my dad turned into the apple centre at bukit timah.... and after like an agonising hour bought the powerbook!!! i must say... he was super impressed witht the salesperson... :D so fun!!

oh. but the next bit was quite bad... had to go for cheerleading practice in tch... *eeks* been going to school like monday to sunday... then we were just practising when these angmoh guys came over... like smoking and stuff... and nearly stold our handphones! like what lousy pple right? and not just that... there were these sec1 little boys on the bench near us and basically doing their project or sthg... one of the guys in red berms went over and talked to them and was somehow playing/ looking at one of the little boys' phone... and he ran off with it!!! and the little boy didn't scream or anything.. was just in some sort of a daze... then one of the girls saw it and went over to ask him what happened *then* he said that the guy just ran off with the phone... *and* the guys started chasing... by which time the thieves had already climbed the fence and ran into the neighbouring condos... *sigh* what stupid little boys. i would have screamed or sthg... anyhow. maybe the little boy was secretly glad? cos it was a free phone... what jerks the thieves were... preying on defenceless little boys!! deplorable...

and anyway. the powerbook is sadly charging... v v sad... so it's out of bounds... :/ sigh. will find one day when i'm free and you all can come over to ogle it!

haha :) so scary... eating ugly puny probably bony and highly poisonous pufferfish is just so disgusting it's funny :D so sorry bout your fish darling.. but ah well. maybe you could take it as a blessing in disguise? or you can comfort yourself by playing insaniquarium :) can feed fish that constantly get attacked by aliens...

sigh. how? i hate physics. i love physics. i love all the stuff like astrophysis without the math *grins* and nuclear and quantum even tho i don't really understand it.. but i'm so going to fail my blocktest-masquerading-as-a-normal-test that i had today :/ so undesirable. eeeks. bugger. does anyone know how to upload to the ipod without erasing previously saved stuff? i can't figger it out :/ sigh. and the ipod is terribly scratched i moan when i look at it... :/

am so lifeless.. bored and i probably won't have a v enjoyable bday next week :/ have to write bloody econs essays that i'm going to fail anyway so i don't see the point of writing them. then got more crap as the days creep nearer... and going to get my french controle back and going to fail *that* one horrendously... i can't imagine. feel whiney. maybe i'll go call lam later to wail :D and i can't even go out to watch x2 next week!!! eeeeeks.

and my bro and my sister are turning anorexic.... eeeks. they eat like *nthg* much for any meal... it's scary... my brother used to be fat.. chubby at least... so that he had layers upon layers of fat... and today, when i poked him, i actually ---- hit a bone. can you imagine tt? that bone used to be well cushioned by fatty layers! and now it's practically exposed! i mean! even mine isn't so obvious! eeks. sigh.

am currently stinky and itchy from touch :) haha :D and my contacts are threatening to fall out... hmmm. was just wondering whether i should be worried about my sexual orientation? have been making too many passes at girls i see... v worrisome :D but i can't help it... it is just too funny :D and the looks on their faces! you should see them *grins* ah well. am still healthily attracted to memebers of the opposite sex tho :) so maybe i'm just bi :D ok. let's abandon this train of thought...

ah well. quite freaky tho.. was going home with jingjun on 174 today.. and at the nj busstop this nj guy got on and proceeded to stare at us... then we simultaneously tried to ask each other discreetly whether we even knew him (maybe not *v* discreet but ah well.) i thought he was looking at jingjun but she insisted he was looking at me... anyhow. it was highly unsettling. now i know why pple get beaten up for staring at other pple...

sighsigh. oh :) my class absolutely *adores* going to coro to eat during break.. so imagine this... there're like 20 odd of us strolling out of school in the morning hoping that the teachers would turn a blind eye... and we have all of 30 minutes to get there, eat and come back.. (a feat which we actually manage to accomplish give or take a couple of minutes :)

sigh. if you all don't see me online these couple of days. please understand: my mom has decided that we (me and my bro) are constantly hogging the com (we are so not!) *plus* she thinks i'm too irresponsible with stuff... so. in order to be able to still get my powerbook... i am going to stay com-free and blog-free and icq-free ( maybe not entirely cold turkey? just kinda... more infrequently...) yups. and anyhow. yeah. pray for me :D

I jump! You can look but don't you hump. I'm major. I roar. I swear I'm not a whore. We cheer as we lead. We act like we're on speed. Hate us 'cause we're beautiful--but we don't like you either. We're cheerleaders! We are cheerleaders!

haha :) sorry... the bimbo cheer thing got into my head today and it has since been stuck...

to:
the dearest leaf insect on the hair spray bottle on the right side of the mirror
shan's parents bathroom
shan's house

i am so sorry. i do not know how you got there. nor why you even got yourself into this predicament. i just want to tell you that there are no leaves in my bathroom. but since you are already there, (and probably regretting it) i guess you already know that. looking at your long (big) green body, i don't have the heart to scold you for being stupid. or being such a ninnywit to come into unchartered territory. i can only apologise to you, even though you probably can neither read nor encompass such ideas as compassion/sympathy in your mind. i (nor for that matter, my brother) dares to even move you... so i guess, you will die in my bathroom. sorry.

yours sincerely,
a very sorry shan

got the review letter. sigh. spent what 80, 90 bucks? all i got was a letter that siad: no change. if i wanted a letter i could have written it myself...

another tiring day! sheesh.. reached home at 9 today... all time low :/ but pretty fun i guess :D got to see aman's really *really* pretty ugly pufferfish which i think can't puff at all haha... hilarious :D cept i don't think it was hilarious for the fish? cos it was freezing cold in the classroom.... and they had no jackets :/

hmmm. was walking on the grate (the thingies on top of the drains to keep you from falling in? yups) and remembered sthg my mom once told me that has somehow stuck in my mind and has coloured all my perceptions about drain grates: this took place in malaysia somewhere... my aunt's friend was walking along the road when a rusty grate fell in while she was stepping on it... and there just so *happened* to be a sharp pokey rusty object in there and it skewered her from vagina to chest... piercing a few major organs along the way... i think i was like 10 when i heard this story... it has freaked me of ever walking on grates tho i must confess there is a certain (cheap) thrill in walking on something that remotely resembles an oubliette :D [oh. btw. i only recounted this story cos aman stoutly refused to listen to me say it on our way home today... so must say it somewhere :]

have decided that's it's horrible walking home on a moonless cloudy night alone... or rather it's horrible walking home on a moonless cloudy night. period. crossing the field on a dark night with chameleons and whatnot streaking across me and aman's paths calls for tons of shrieking.

sigh. tweety bird just called. and my mom just told me that this is the second time she's been called by a teacher about me... *aargh* i mean like the first call was in primary two when i refused to do my xi2 zi4!!!

sigh. was in a bloody bad mood today... actually had to turn up in school at 8.30 am for the research symposium crap :/ waste my time... at first i thought it was going to be passably interesting... especially when prof ying from mit/ibn was talking to us.. she was dressed in a suit that did nothing whatsoever to make her look more presentable and sports shoes... talking with a mixed taiwanese/american accent... but at least she knew what she was bloody talking about about nanotech and stuff :D v v interesting... cept she was pretty technical and nv really explained cheem words :/

anyway. it was freakin irritating! i cannot stand it that my class *cannot* make decisions about doing anything!!! i mean.. is it so hard to decide where the hell to go for lunch?? freak. i was glaring at evrything and evry1 and generally feeling pms-al and tt was totally aggravated by their dillydallying!! *eeks* felt damn antisocial and ready to scream and whatever. really cannot take it day in day out :/ but supposedly this happens all the time? sigh

i think cheerleading is freaking crazy too... i mean.. there's practice tmr?!?! like wth.. it's easter sunday! i wanna stay at home and hide in my rabbit hole.

i love timon :D

i love cycling!!! how bloody fun :D was cycling tandem bike with adeline today... the seat is too high and the bike is too long!! couldn't brake or anything.. and the chain was loose too.. v scary:D but v fun! cos when you're cycling tandem you can crap abt so much stuff together... let's all go cycling together!!! or rollerblade.. tho mine's broken... sigh.
hmmm. after that it was damn boring tho! wanted to go karaoke-ing but the place was bloody full!!! and had to resort to going to the arcade... sigh. my ddr is quite sad... tho in my self defense i *did* jump correctly but the machine didn't register it!!!

hmmm. yeah. it's really weird when you're going out and two of the pple around you are quite obviously ermm. trying to get to know one another better *grins* so dian4 deng1 pao4 -ish! super weird...

i want my v own sparkly eyes to gawk at :/

i hate the world today. not really lah. just hate tweety bird :/ this totally sucks... got caught playing cards in the lt during elections... sigh. really nothing to say lah :/ and then now tweety is going to call my parents, send us for cs and totally screw us for the rest of our days:/ i mean like... this is one situation for which they invented the phrase xiao3 ti2 da4 zuo4... i mean like. hrmph. she practically equated it to playing truant and all that crap lah! aargh.

sigh. ok. shall snap out of this... *happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts*

haha :) played ball today *again* hrmph. playing ball with water polo pple isn't exactly the most ego-boosting thing to do... haha :) when they throw the ball it's like across an entire court lah! and they jump freakin high.... haha :) damn funny tho :D eeeks. napfa is bloody soon... going to fail my run! as usual... haha :) cmi lah :)

looking fwd to going cycling tmr! yaya :) haven't touched a cycle (whether uni or bi or anything) for like eons! so fun :D oh oh.. i really want to go for kahli's thingy tmr! but it's too late... my mom told me that we are having steamboat tmr so def have to be home by 7.... sigh. see how lah! depends on what time i finish lor :) i love ya all and i miss you :/ aaargh. so sad :/

oh yeah. today was damn suay. not only did i get damn pissed abt the cs thing i broke my hairband!!! again... aaargh.. and i actually really liked this one:/ this pastel purple zigzag one *frowns* now i have to get a new one :/ freak.

wow :) always thought that david eddings invented the word defenestration... :) just got it in my word-of-the-day list...supposedly there was even an event in history: the defenestration of prague where two important pple were thrown off the prague castle or sthg :D

hmmmm. am bloody tired... actually moved vigorously for at least 5 hours today! morning pe, bball and touch :D how fun :) cept i bloody sucked at touch today :/ aaargh.

yay... am reading alice :) thanks lam :D am happy :)

don't want to go to school tmr!!! i mean like wth.. go for elections and then it's just math lect and ct periods! aaargh. such a waste of time. not like i'm actually going to vote for anyone for council in particular... sigh. am seriously politically apathetic. but like who cares? the pple aren't exactly ermm. that inspiring. shall not bitch about anyone in particular here but suffice to say i wasn't v impressed.... *sighs* if not for the fact that due to the whole sars thingy, i would pon school tmr :/ sigh. but if i do i'll get called at home and all that shit and i actually have to produce an mc... :/

hmmm. am so tired... came back from french at like 8, had cold dinner, had the scrapings from the gelato we bought the other day (mmmmm :) butterscotch and lemon :)

sigh. s6 council next year is ermmm. not v promising... *sigh* other than a few pple with potential the rest of them are *so* un-on... so unenthusiastic... next year we die liao :/ ah well. not that i really care.

hrmph. oh. vol x of the sandman is pretty cool, tho i like 9 and 4 the best... hmm. the artist for ten is pretty good! all the characters look so gloomy but so beautiful... sigh. haha :) my dad is asking me to go eat ice cream :D just that thought makes me insurmountably happy.... *grins*

school has been so *bleargh*... i mean i'm not in the mood for mugging/paying attention, going out for lunch is like too much hassle, playing bridge has lost its glamour :/ and i just feel like screaming!!!! aaaaarghhhhh.... or alternatively punch sthg up. either will do. sheesh.

sigh. my icq is screwed... keeps going invisible *sigh*
/
ahhh :) sandman is brilliant....
/
sigh... spent so long convincing my mom to finally let me out! and guess what? lam that ***** stood me up!! ah well. got over it pretty fast since i was in a pretty stoned mood anyway but still!! sigh. took all that risk of getting sars for nothing. and my mom refuses to let me go out on tues with lynette and co!! aaargh. i think part of the reason is how they keep talking to my aunt who's in hk and how the situation is just so unbelievably panicky there... so they're getting paranoid too :/
/
oh yeah. man-u thrashed newcastle 6-2! how fun :) and i was all about to give up on them when newcastle scored first... but dumdeedum :) yay :)
/
watched xmen today again :) grace a aman :) yeah (btw, the previous line is supposed to make sense with accents) anyway. i remember now why i was so enamoured of hugh jackman... even cyclops pales in comparison! now i just can't wait for x2 and gambit.... hehe....

have you ever, when you're walking home at night and wearied from the day's travails, just raised your head, looked at the night sky and broken out smiling and grinning like an idiot? i was walking up the interminably long and winding slope home and just feeling totally stoned when i looked up into the sky and saw the moon. the half moon was glowing and there was a beautiful nimbus of light surrounding it that looked so utterly ethereal and undescribably peaceful :) the night sky was especially clear tonight, and the sky was just filled with stars -- there i was just craning my head upwards and grinning foolishly and skipping along in delight, just totally *happy* :) and i saw the constellations except i don't know their names... and there was this one that i always see on clear nights --- 3 stars in a straight line... what's that one called? i've tried to identify constellations, except that whenever i look at the star arrangements i can never tell what is what... a lack of imagination perhaps? it was just so calming, just looking into a sapphire blanket studded with stars :D aaahhh :):):) hehe :) v v happy!!!

and i was looking at the stars and i couldn't help thinking that although the stars look as if they actually were arranged so closely together they are all separated by lightyears and lightyears of space so that only us on earth can even see the constellations as we have always known them :) like a gift from the stars :)

sigh. you're speaking to E�rwen Inglorion. my supposedly elven name tho it sounds decidedly more like an earwig than an elf if you ask me :/
someone help me with econs!!

N2001
b) a govt is proposing to increase the tax on petrol. examine the relevance of price elasticity of demand and income elasticity of demand for this proposal

i need help in somehow fitting income elasticity into this...

hehe :) talk about chao bored :) this is for lifting my spirits :D





Which Disney Princess Are You?

this quiz was made by Erin

haha :) oh gawds :)

Baboon-Ooh, lucky you, you are a Baboon!!! You
enjoy being around family and you are very
smart! You can think abstractly! Youre also
the largest primate, so you usually are a
leader! Youre usually pretty busy also, and
you love fast food!


(pictures)What Kind Of Monkey R U?
brought to you by Quizilla

so unreal :D

What Drink Are You?

yeah!!! my com is fixed! apparently the com guy who came used an eraser to fix the problem... how cool is that? *yay* finally :) aaargh. just had a huge-deafening-heart-popping thunder crash... nearly died of shock :/ sigh. was even thinking of finally getting out of my chair and doing some exercise... sigh. there my plans go again *grins*

hehe :) am v proud... can fit in my tight jeans! yeah man :D oh. if any hc pple are reading this... tmr wear hc u k? just for one day :) i wanna see how it is... then after that i die die will wear my rg u until they force me out of it :)

i've realised i can't sleep tight at night... sigh. keep worrying and worrying... am a proper worry wart. don't even know exactly what i'm worrying abt... just feels as if something is not right you know what i mean? it's chao weird.... :/ ah well.

am utterly addicted to dynomite :) the link is on the left... :) you just keep shooting eggs and it's sthg like that shooting bubbles game ( i forget the name :) so bloody fun :) hmmm.... actually... i realised that when there's no school there's barely anything to post... i mean nothing interesting happens when you're just stagnant at home isn't it?

haha :P have been trying to get my dad to get me a powerbook... but one major flaw in my case is the fact that i can come up with no plausible reason why on earth i even need a laptop :/ sighs. speaking of which... my mom's ipod is horrible scratched... according to some ipod person you're supposed to use this metal polisher thing on it? but how on earth am i even going to find the metal polisher thing?! sian. so sad :/

aargh. actually. i really feel like swimming! what with me having finally learnt how to freestyle properly and yearning to improve my non-existent stamina... then this sars thing comes along and suddenly the swimming pool is out of bounds??? sigh.

hmm. am v upset. my class does *not* reply to my emails! i ask 'em stuff and they don't reply :/ dunno whether it's cos they 1) are too lazy. 2) do not like me or 3) did not get my mails. this is horrible. aaargh. so it turns out that i'm one of the few pple who even use the yahoogroups acct for stuff other than forwarded mails and quizzes.... :/ sigh. chao sian.

wahhh.... my computer cmi lah!! really buay tahan :/ crashed again... a full out complete crash where you can't restart the com no matter what.... it's like what? the second time in as many months?!?!?! sigh. the only silver lining in this darned cloud is that i can at least use my sis' laptop which finally has broadband access.... *sigh*

ahh. finally went out yesterday... went to jurong point and finally got some paraphernalia for my non-existent facial care regime... quite cool tho! it was on offer and my sis got this tea tree scrub thingy( which i think actually works!) and this mask thing which supposedly warms your face first tho i totally do not see the point of warming your face. must be some funky skincard thing... haha :) so now i have clean and smooth skin (in my own deluded mind that is... :D)

my bro kept telling me that chemical ali was dead and all the time i was wondering ermm yeah. so who's that dude? sigh. i am *so* out of touch. whatever :/ it's quite scary... they are interviewing the soldiers on tv and there's this almighty boom and no one cares. ah well. whatever.

my sis just downloaded a v cute game on her palm :) so fun! there are like fishes in this tank and you are supposed to feed them and then they will ermmm. 'pass' out money :) and you buy more fish and make sure they don't die and fight off alien attackers! haha :) i have no idea what the objective of this game is but anyhow. it's v v exciting :) *grins*

trying to get alice in wonderland to read... will anyone lend it to me please :) i will be v thankful :) finally got out of my house! ahhh :) went to jurong point which was people mountain people sea so if ever i was fated to catch sars i guess that's where i'm going to get it from... hmm. speaking of which... my head hurts a little now and i *have* been sneezing quite a bit :D

sigh! extended again... until wednesday... don't even know whether to be happy or not! sigh. on one hand, i can have more time to do what i haven't done... on the other... i'll be bored to death :/ sigh sigh sigh.

i) have not managed to find running partner for council and therefore decided not to run
ii) have not studied for the physics test mr quek has said will be killer
iii) have not practised piano and thus will die for upcoming exam
iv) forgot to register for may sats
v) have not drawn math graphs
vi) have not finished dreamcatcher
vii) have not exercised a jot
viii) have not studied for french test

on the other hand:
one. have done econs presentation *grins*
two. have re-read sandman I-IV and the others are on their way courtesy to kaisiang :)
three. have managed to get a free sushi meal from vernon *yay*
four. have actually even *got* my french textbooks
five. have set up a blog i'm v happy and proud of :)
six. have gotten reputation of 'html g(r)eek goddess'
seven. have learnt html (basic)
eight. have learnt how to sit for hours on end without fidgeting too much in front of the computer
nine. passed jinyong's whatchamacallit quizyourfriends quiz :) [actually, i got like 5/10 correct but still technically a pass! not like piano. where i have to score like more than 70 i think...]
ten. have managed to have more things to be happy about than all the other *glaring* things i have not!! haha :)

ahhhh. the spirit of the eternal optimist :)

aaargh. why do i get portuguese messages on my tagboard? i do not understand portuguese. i may *want* to learn portuguese in the future, and i may *like* to eat portuguese egg tarts but no ma'am. i do not understand the tags. *sigh*

lam! i realised that miss neo *nv* returned us our brilliant deep-sea habitat collage thingy!! the one where we had tubifax worms that looked like maggie all over the sea bed! haha :) just got reminded of it when i saw some leftover paper from *tt* piece of work *grins*

hmmm. realised i'm posting too often. cos i'm *totally* bored. yahoo bridge is becoming boring and i've finished the templates i promised to fiddle with :/ and i'm still grounded/quarantined.... seniors going sentosa tmr, my class going bernard's house tmr and i cannot go :(:(:( sighs. crap. aargh. *pull out my hair* sucks.

the world's good again! go visit lam's site to see what i mean :)

sigh. have only managed to get lam's thingy down to some diagonal looking thing.. *sigh* go check it out :/ and tell me if you can help me!!

today's word of the day is artless :) an entirely quaint and charming little word, n'est-ce pas? haha :) i love the word :) it's just on the same scale of as those words which *totally* sound like what they mean... like 'nefarious' sounds evil-ish but yet slightly funny? dunno how to explain *grins* if you know what i mean you just *know* what i mean.

so freaky...jo is down with 'sar-like' symptoms... fever and flu-ish stuff... which could just *be* normal flu. but could also just as easily be sars :/ hope she gets well soon. and fuzzy too (who's just plain ol' sick i think) :) sigh. and my paranoia is being slowly but steadily fed by dreamcatcher... so freaky... having something like cancer feeding on you from the inside out, and you're just rotting away and have *no idea* what's going on... sigh. i'm still halfway lost in that tome... alternately freaked out and fascinated...

oh yeah :) sandman! went to the library today and returned neil gaiman's book..dream huntersanyway. it's a v tragic little story -- folktale-ish. set in japan or thereabouts: there's a monk and a fox, and by some weird quirk of fate (which i shall skip here), the fox falls in love with the monk. there's this evil official, who's rich and powerful, but has never been at ease. He is then told by the oracles he consults, 3 old women, otherwise known as clothos and her sisters (who always recur in the stories), that for him to gain his courage and bravery, he has to kill the monk, but without blood and without pain.

the official then devises a scheme --- the monk would dream on three consecutive nights --- first about a box, then about a key, then on the third night, he would open the box and be caught in the dreaming world forever. the fox happens to hear this (a long story behind this) and seeks out the lord of the dreamworld to ask for his help--- she is told that the only way she can save the monk is to dream his dream for him. and so, the dreams start. the fox dreams the first 2 ones with him, and the third one, she dreams it for him, opens the box and is trapped in the dreamworld.

The next day, the monk wakes up, and sees the fox comatose near his temple --- not knowing how to revive her, he decides to go to the town nearby in search for a physician. But before he reaches, he meets this old man who tells him that the only person who can help him is the dreamlord himself. and so after a long roundabout way, he manages to see the dreamlord. the monk glimpses the fox, a pretty young lady in this plane, and refuses to let her take his place. he releases the fox and is himself caught. the fox is heartbroken, and vows to take revenge for the monk. the fox, by seducing the official, ruins him completely. the official is reduced to nothing but rags and bones.

i don't remember how the story ends. it's somewhere around there as far as i can remember. i skipped a lot of details in that tiny paragraph but i guess that by through a bit of imagination, most of the gaps can somewhat be filled up. but it was v moving. and oh yeah. the monk *did* love the fox. and the fact that the fox could do such utter damage and take such total revenge for her love just attests to the depth of her love for the monk.aargh. that sounds totally morbid tho... to kill for love? *sigh*

this is disgusting!!!

i cannot take it anymore.... *to the refrain of some linkin park song*

trying to get lam's template online and it adamantly refuses to! everytime i access lam's template it's *blank* no matter how many times i save the template there!!! my only comfort is that i have a backup html code for it so despite her site sadly having some nikki's template... there is still hope.

i feel so guilty! lam took me as some html shen2 :) haha... which i am *so* not and i can't help her :/ but. it is not my fault *pout*

irritated!!!! aaargh.... my beautiful template!!!! gone!!! the vladster-whatever-crap you see now is none of my doing!!!
utter disgust.

sigh. this is not working. finished tampering with lam's template but blogger is down!!!

whoa... can't stand it... realised i need many hours a sleep a day!! for me to wake up at 6, i need to sleep at 10. if i sleep at 12, i wake at 10... how sad is that? one more reason i can add to my list of 'why i can never become a doctor'. sigh. i'm practical to a fault regarding my career choices really.... after watching healing hands... i *really* wanted to be an a&e doctor --- yups. the risks, the adrenaline and all. or a medic ( that was from watching third watch) anyway. so i really wanted to be a doctor...

and then i thought: eons in medical school, waking and sleeping with my cadaver (which doesn't sound so bad :), ermmm... cutting open real life pple... (tt would be a killer.. sorry.. pardon bad puns :) and the fact that real people die whenever i make mistakes... *sigh* i guess i'm just not made out to be a doctor :/ hrmph. oh yeah. and did i say i freak out whenever people around me are in pain? yups.