oh dear. i'm very evil. my econs s essay is due tmr: What insights does the theory of MC give into the way that companies in industries in Singapore operate? and i told the tchr i'll hand it in on saturday instead of today. but now i have no idea what to write so i'm prob going to hand it in monday :( hope he doesn't go school especially to collect it. else i'll be soooo guilty. cos he's such a nice guy. sigh.

the beauty of acquisition. she's sleek and sexy, bright and cheery :) i love her.

waaaah.
this sucks. my blog comes up when you search for 'girls say fuck'???

so close yet so far away.

i don't know why i even bother. hc is full of murderous teachers.

i don't know why i sit in a corner with tears falling when i should be perfectly happily in love. i miss having someone to talk to whenever i feel like. now i pick up the phone and just wonder if i'll be bothering them in their ohsobusy lives. now when i read about other people's lives i see them moaning about lost/unrequited loves and envy. because they at least have people who bother if they're dead or alive.

i don't feel life with the intensity that i should. i am happy only because i think it's right that i should. i am sad because it seems like it is something i should be sad about. i want to talk about anything and everything with someone who understands me, but when i do get to speak, the words fail me. hey babe :) how's everything? i love you :)

the night before chem block tests i dreamt about a sexually mutilated kid whose mom told him to 'go use that copper wire' (for reasons i cannot fathom). i think i was the kid. the tuition teacher who came to my house and sat under the canopy in the backyard told me that i was one of the worst in the class. i am seventeen and i suffer from sporadic depression. don't mind me.

sigh. damn screwed up :( so i thought econs and math were fine. then i got to chem :( and now it's physics tmr :(:(:( was damn near hysterical after the paper today.. and bleargh. at least it's last paper tmr :) and my mom is buying me -gasp- an ipod! :P hehe. this is so fun.

ps. jireh happybirthday again :) and lynette: happy early birthday :) and des too. love ya (all) tons.
pps. the 4 way party this sunday is so going to drain my resources big time.
ppps. lam! have you gotten my letter yet? it's been a looong time :D and i haven't seen u online since oscar night :( erm. right. that's my fault really :P

damn. i have no stamina for studying.

haha. turns out that spaghetti sauce is a lifesaver! otherwise i suspect that my lunch today might have been less than palatable :)

owing to long term attempts to study, i have no time to blog. key word being attempt. damn i'm dead...

ac funorama

hmmm. ac funorama was fun! :) but only because i was running ard with crys aman brendon and benedict (the latter two being pple i do not really know but were fun anyway :) esp brendon's craazy bargaining skills :P ) other than that, it's the usual gripes of TOO MANY PEOPLE... v v scary. i hate it when i can't walk in a straight line for more than 10 meters before i have to jostle.

hehe. there was this marshmallow coated in melted chocolate thingy.. which was pure heaven :) happy. but there wasn't much food by the time we realised that the funorama was ENDING and we had too much money left. so there. wasted my time.. sigh. haha brendon and aman went scouting for stuff to spend our riches on and bought like 2 bottles of spaghetti sauce. for which they got some icky soup and -more- spaghetti sauce free. it was so disgusting :P

the haunted house was terrible!! and it cost us all of 10 bucks to get in la... EACH. haha according to yl, by the time we reached there they were all so tired.. like designated ankle grabbers fell asleep, waking only every now and then to grab some lucky soul's ankle; pple left their posts and nv went back. like aaargh. no business ethics. hrmph. cheat money. the only thing was that i hate walking in the dark. and aman was one of those lucky souls (and her scream made me scream. only cos i felt like i -had- to do sthg to make myself feel not to cheated) ah well. and plus the narrator we had was sucky. we couldn't hear a word of what he was saying. and he sounded nervous. sigh.

ladida~ so. it was ok laa. not really worth my time :P but i love yl and anna! (don't think i'm supposed to say why here.. but it was so hilarious:) we were just basically trying to kope as much food/coupons as possible i suppose :) that's were all the fun was.

bleargh. block tests in 2 weeks!! :'( die. results next week! die again. sighhh. but. oscars on monday!! wheeee. wonder if i can skip school and tell them i wanna watch rotk sweep everything :D

i'm convinced msn dislikes mac users so they have a quota for number of mac users on messenger that're allowed online at any one time. It seems that traffic is highest at night and i'm designated fall guy so i'm the one constantly d/ced every couple of minutes. messenger works fine in the morning :/ grrrr.

struggling with my econs essay. it's so vague i don't know what to write. at the rate i'm going i'll have a one and a half page essay, times size 12. uhoh...

sigh. dance comp in like 5 hours. the dance is... v sian. none of us look good doing it save mr orange shirt. and i desperately need the time to study. aaaargh. damn. oh yeah. plus i spent the whole of yesterday out and therefore didn't study... sigh. at least funorama was sort of fun (but only because of the company :) haunted house cheat our money.... sighhh.

and i was so guilty after rda i was just in such a foul mood.

two weeks. sigh. i hate how my life is centred ard studying.

happy is good. have been happy :) generally at least... even tho i stress out at not being able to finish my work and not having enough time for people :/ or myself.

sigh. haha am super evil. reading ******'s blog now. hmmm. shouldn't say anything to revealing here... but still can't believe his views on 'relationships' :P entertaining stuff.. this... :)

i haven't had someone as worthy a candidate as ****** to bitch about for the longest time. it's immense guilty fun :D (not v guilty. just a lot of fun :)

i hate group outings :/ can't eat in peace/fun, can't do anything properly after and it just riles me. then i get foul and evil and just generally pissed off/piss off everyone else. plus. my mood is so easily influenced by those ard me so it just gets worse :/ aaargh. i felt seriously evil and i couldn't do anything abt it. so: sorry ade, xw, tat and lide. yeps. thanks for being so nice to me :)

forlorn.
sometimes it hurts to see things fall apart so suddenly.

hilarious.

my blog apparently comes up when you search: "no energy" sleep, skinny  

hahaa... how come orangeshirt know my url :P

sighs. slept the whole day away :( and didn't run like i was supposed to. am appalled by own inability to exercise :/ spent the whole of yesterday shopping for ade's present! v v sian... walking all ard and -not- finding anything isn't my idea of fun... but. at least she appreciated it :)

is veryscary how person knows which kindergarten i'm from. not possible! sigh. tell me how!

there was this cute little bright yellow poncho-ed kid on the bus talking to his mom.
mom: yes it's raining very heavily, it's raining cats and dogs.
kid (excitedly): cats and dogs! where?

sigh. i feel like i ought to be doing more but i can't get myself up to doing it :( it's horrible that is.

aaaargh. i refuse to go for anymore econs s lessons :( the teacher is horrifyingly scary. he -keeps- picking on me cos he thinks i'm smart/the only one who responds to him. :'( the thing is. so he talks -really- slowly. and then when he asks questions, there's just COMPLETE silence in the class. so i figger, yeah ok. since i'm sitting in the front i might as well answer, esp since the qns are so easy anyway. after which, he would -always- consult "the girl over here" for her opinion. and when he talked he would look over at me to nod at me even if i tried v v hard to avoid eye contact. damn. aaargh. painful. talk abt unwanted attention :(

thank you

you know who you are. you made my day :)

yes. i'm feeling v happy now. rather accomplished. very loved. <-- don't read too deeply into that. it's such a bummer when things sound ambiguous when i mean it only in one very superficial manner.

excessive boredom is bad for the brain. it's no wonder my brain is rotting as fast as it is, considering how often i find myself bored and stoned. i have work to do, yes, but i just can't get myself to go face it and do it... sigh. i need company to keep me from being so bored. but wait. that doesn't work. i get incredibly bored in a group too. there's sthg wrong with me i think... i can't seem to convince myself that yes, things are happening in my life. i'm not bored. how?

sigh.. i'm bored. it's the first day of cny (btw. HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR dudes :) and i have nthg to do :/ we already went to my grandma's place in jb and ate and ate and ate. but now i have zero remnant relatives that we're going to visit. ah well. so now i'm sadly online with nobody to talk to :/ and anyway. i realise i'm really quite antisocial. and cannot be bothered. ah well.

anyway. cny celebrations were boring as usual... but i saw loads of pple ard so that kept me entertained :) and took really stupid photos with the touch people :D haha. i wanna see those! hmmm. there was this -one- wushu guy who was really impressive. and -one- wushu girl. then err... nthg else much to talk abt. the jnr class is seriously amazin :P vv enthu. and they actually really have artistic talent... haha. not to say that cherry doesn't/didn't. but they are waaay more impressive :D plus not to say our class (or at least me) was also more bochup than most of our jnrs this year :P anyway. their smoothies were not quite palatable... but at least i think their smoothies were quite a bit better than our choc marshmallow thingies. :P

sighhhh. i really have nthg to say but i really have nthg else to do either :/ lam... when're you free to come online? i'm bored not talking to you :( haha.. and yl and anna must come online too. then we can have another of those crazy chats where no one knows what who's talking abt. yay :D fun.

oh yeah. read the bitchy blog that michelle was linking to... hmmm. yeah. weirded out sense of humour. which actually backs up this halfbaked theory of mine which i'm not at liberty to discuss here (started from auditions) yups.

haha.. crosscountry dance is going to be so... weird. prob will end up forgetting steps/not being able to catch the beat. but it would be no problem cos everyone would (hopefully) be just looking at mr orange shirt :D

hmmm. shall go exercise off the keropok and fried prawns now. i hope :D

haha.. sometimes it's just so interesting talking cos some people have -such- a flair for the dramatic.

yes it sucks babe! i want my letter :( been waiting for it all week. and do i get it? nooooooooo.

yay! last lesson. have salary now. and no more lessons to talk about :)

i learn more about myself everyday. i am 1. incredibly short tempered 2. prone to moodswings like nobody's business 3. previous two points come hand in hand with no patience 4. no ability to convince people howsoever 5. lousy at selfentertainment 6. too self occupied to think about other people.

i used to think i was a much nicer person. i guessed i've wisened up :) yeps! bitch coming through :) make way!

so then right, i think that maybe it's everyone's pet peeves that make them like character-wise? but then again, perhaps i have more -peeves- more than -pet peeves- seeing how i tend to get upset over little things like? i get hugely irritated at the littlest things. i think i got that from associating too much with aman :P and the ilk.. haha. like how the gang of us have really strange peeves. funny :)

it's so sweet when there's instant chemistry (or so they say). seeing people delight in each other's company.

anyway. so i decide right? i really dunno how to shoot pool. and like i need practice. cept i have no time and money. so then it's too bad that i can't shoot :P it's like how i wanna learn how to shoot archery but i can't either. sighh. life's full of disappointments. and then i realise that if i really -really- wanted to learn, i could actually make time for it. in between everything. such a failure.

i really am pretty antisocial. perhaps i should do sthg about how i don't bother talking to new people abt inane things, and how i resent spending all that extra effort trying to keep a conversation going if the other person can't even be bothered. heck. if you're not going to talk as well i might as well give up. sigh. see what i mean about antisocial.

yep. poison would be -real- goood.

yay :D my brother is finally back from china.. i'm so protective of my brother! it's terrible how his school was so lousy in dealing with stuff. like how he got food poisoning and get this: had to be put on a drip. poor dude! how scary is that. plus his teachers nv like took charge of the situation to reassure parents and stuff. anyway. he's skinny like anything now, considering how he was already skinnier than me even before he went. but at least then he was putting on weight.

i'm feeling really weird now. like how i'm sort of focusing on the screen while my body is taking time off and floating around. not a good sign.

it really is a nice feeling. v cosy.

ohh. now i understand. ah well :)
to continue in the vein of being narcissistic and materialistic...

Buy me diamonds and rubies
I'm crazy bout Bentley's
Gucci dresses and
dropped top Kompressors
Wine me and dine me
Bring those platinum rings
Those are a few of our favourite things

anyhow. what are dropped top kompressors? erm. mercs? whatever :) i should be doing work (again) esp having heard of jireh's crazy willpower -and- his intention to chiong this year. haha. weird stuff coming out of his mouth. but ah well. stupid tathua. koped my gp so what am i supposed to do! hrmph.

happy together is really sweet :D esp with jennifer aniston being so hot in it. but erm. yeah. the advert that our jnr class spoofed so did not do her justice :P (let's just pray they nv read this. but if they do.. i don't mean this maliciously!:)

I can't see me loving nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me
Baby the skies will be blue
For all my life
Me and you
And you and me
No matter how they tossed the dice
It had to be
The only one for me is you
And you for me
So happy together

We should talk more.

Have you heard of the new ipod?

happy day :) we end at 1.20 on thursdays!! :D and we have time for movies -and- shopping. this rocks :) jeux d'enfants is typical quirky french film i suppose... and as usual. i could barely catch the dialogue. but it just sounds really good :) even if the language is crazily foul and stuff. heh.

am supposed to be doing hydroxy tutorial now.. but heh. lam is supposed to be online now! but anyway. bet she couldn't wake up on time.. :D my juniors seem pretty ok after the first disastrous day... so maybe we'll have a fun junior class after all :D anyway. their cheer seems pretty kinky. sthg like.. i love you 69 i need you 69... along those lines anyway.

damn. now i have to write my reflection for the summer school too. aaargh. dead. and tired too! grrrrrr.

the more i watch lotr, the more i'm convinced that yl and anna are just like merry and pippin :D v cute.

aaargh. i came home early, convinced myself that i'm too unfit, watched fotr and have yet to start mugging :( i can't get into my own blog so i can't read my tags... sigh. and now i need to mug physics. sigh. at least i have laksa to comfort myself.

the sky is cloudless today. saw orion's belt in the sky and it's in the wrong place :) it seems to have shifted off the horizon into a little nook just above me when i crane my head out of the window.

i dislike how the little things that other people do have such an effect. the perceived glance of disdain, the elusive smirk and the stare. sigh. and the thing is. none of this is probably even real.

it pains me how words seem to dribble so slowly out of my hands. they're little crippled, maimed worker ants when they're with me. i wish they would get prosthetic limbs.

i'm hell bored. i slept thru the -entire- day and now i'm grumpy and groggy. hrmph. sigh. there really isn't much happening recently. except a spate of parties/dinners that i probably can't turn up for anyway.

list of things to do in the last four days of the holidays:
1. clean up the -really- disgusting messes that are my wardrobe, my cupboard and my room.
2. plough through the chem revision worksheet that i only recently unearthed
3. ditto for gp
4. watch rotk again
5. read -sthg-. anything.
6. watch school of rock :)
7. do some exercise
conclusion: no time, no energy, no motivation = lingering list of undone things

sigh. am super disgusted with my current state of gluttony :/ constant eating and no exercise is well nigh terrible. not good. this means that if i get freaked out by sthg/s1 (highly possible esp nowadays) i can't escape cos i can't run fast/far enough :( v disturbing thought, that.

i know i can never sleep after i drink coffee.. and yet i insist on drinking it. damn. so now i'm stuck awake at 01 09am with no one to chat to anymore. army is scary. no thanks to weirded out stories by quekquek :/

i need to sleep... not least cos i intend to wake up at 8 tmr to go swim in icy waters as well as speak coherently from 10-12 and after which go shopping.. aaargh. ah well :) i've survived on less sleep i suppose. it's just really boring now cos there's nthg to do online.

s1 talk to me now :/

i have no idea why i'm so sensitive. but in any case. please -stop- asking me why i can't go out. cos i can't. and that's it, ok? long story. way longer than i care to talk abt. so there.

sigh. anyhow. the little girl i'm giving tuition to is so sweet :) she doesn't look sec 1 at all, nor does she act it.. i'm sure i was never like her when i was sec one.. :)

i'm bored out of my mind at home. i can't bring myself to write happy xmas cards when i'm so bloody miserable. so i suppose you'll all get really really belated merrychristmasandahappynewyear! cards :) but i still love you! i just don't feel like writing cards tt's all :)

narsil costs 248 pounds! like freaky. what i don't understand tho.. is this:
Hardware, instructions included. hmm. would the instructions go like... unsheath, swing and hit nazgul? but it so rocks.

sometimes i don't understand why people can be so muleheaded about stuff. they don't listen to reasoning. they give a flat out NO and then shut their ears to anything else. i always believed that no matter what i'd be able to get my way with superior reasoning and diplomacy. and then i realise. what naivete. it's so typical but yeah. i chafe at my reins. forget it.

it'd be -so- immensely weird to reply to the question 'so what've you been doing lately?' with 'i've been selling cigarettes'. wouldn't it?

swoon. look at the photo gallery

uploading photos. such a chore :/ anyway. you'll see them here
i think you'll have to login to see 'em.. sorry :P just that it was the nicest plc to upload them to and yahoophotos wouldn't work. ah well.

haven't felt like blogging much. no thoughts deeper than a puddle to muse about. no special incident i wanna shout about. life's been so-so. melbourne was fun but i already talked about it.. so i lost all impetus to gush/whine/complain about it here. wait for me to gain some momentum for that :)

anyway. i always used to think i was really emotional and crybaby and all that. and now i realise that only beautifully packaged images on film tug at me like that. shift it all into reality and i cease to feel the pain/regret/love/yearning. everyone around me talks about how much they -feel- about things, and i just smile/nod and agree, cos it's so much easier to. just a coldhearted bitch here thankyou. and happy to be so.

we waited an entire year for this. and boy was it worth it! :D me and des were gushing throughout the movie... hopefully the people ard us were more bemused than annoyed at our sharp intakes of breath whenever legolas gave his thoughtful looks or when aragorn just stood there. the scenes were breathtaking. and i wanna watch it again! ah well. this being the first day of screening i shall just content myself w having talked abt rotk nonstop on the way home w aman anna and des (instead of talking too much abt it here).. hehe. this rocks so much i wanna i-dunno-what. *huge grin*

i don't even remember what happened before i watched the show anymore. oh wait i do :) hehe. other than karaoke (which was really fun. but hey i'm not that much a fan of ktv :) des was giving lynette a synopsis of fotr and ttt.. and it was absolutely hilarious. if i'm not wrong, part of the synopsis went like this: so. there's this evil ring. and the heros have to go to the bad guy's house to destroy it. *gales of laughter* ... and talking abt the bit where gandalf fought the whatever-monster in the mines of moria: He fell.

ah well. at least lynette seemed like she really liked the show :) so all was good :P i wanna watch it again i think. but i only wanna fastfwd it to the bits i really really liked. which only means glossing past the dreary sam/frodo bits :)

High~

Queen rocks!!

my eyes are dying on me :/ so a couple of hours after i was in the library surfing the net i'm on again... this time in the computer lab in clarke's (one of the dorms here) sighhh. it's another gorgeous imac running on (gasp. os x!) but aaaargh. it sucks. cos there's sthg wrong w the connection or sthg. (or maybe they disable it on our accts the sneaky fellas) but i can't log into hotmail, sign in to either messenger or icq. like hrmph. can't do nuts. cept research on eugenics. aaaaaaaargh. i'm so sian. and i wanna sleep :/ but it's only 9pm. it's really weird... been so tired these few days. i'm positive it's cos of the heat :(

need eyedrops! but that's far away in my (dirtymessyfilthy) room. which has no bed. cos i'm sleeping w qiaomei and charlene :p (ooooh. that's sounds so.. interesting no?) ok. going to lygon street to eat icecream! ciao :)

am in the melb uni library now.. using an utterly sweeeet imac. groovy. ah well. one of my lecturers had a 15" powerbook. but i didn't dare go tell him he rocks. so whatever :)

bio lab sessions rock. yesterday we cut up a bovine eyeball. and you know how cats and some animals' eyes reflect light when you shine a light into it? yeah we saw this greenish blue iridescent layer just below the retina. sweeeet. and then we had optometry sessions where we examined each other's eyes and i saw claire's blue contacts thru the magnifying thingy whatever :) so cool! it rocks la. i love lab. and today we had genetics lab. so then we knocked out normal and mutated drosophila (fruit flies) with CO2 and examined them under the microscope... they're icky looking. after tt, we dumped them into the 'fly morgue' which was essentially a jar with drowned flies in ethanol. poor things. i is murderer :/

ah well. it's 35 freaking degrees out today. and it was 30 yesterday. and there promises to be a thunderstorm tmr. like wth. what freaky weather they've got here la! anyhow. my clothes are started to be so monotonous cos i only brought jeans and tshirts. so whatever... sigh. my eyes are drying out :(

have to do project :( for this science summer school thingy. damn. i'm doing eugenics tho.. decided it was kinda fun. but i needs helps :) please email me if you're free to help! hehe. you could write my report for me. or give me ideas on how to present! yay.

i miss you pple! please organise an outing!! for me to go walk walk look look see see :) before we start on the horrible year called j2. k? *muah* miss you all. and thanks for the emails :)

just finished lab session... quite lame la... doing stuff like dissolving chlorophyll in ethanol and running it thru a spectrometer to have a nice readout on light absorbency of diff wavelengths and similar stuff... aaargh. quite nice and slack tho i suppose :/ hmmm. realised quek is really lame! he was like telling ghost stories and dirty jokes in the night and you totally can't tell that he's a tchr la. ah well. the food here ain't fantastic :( i'm sad. but at least it means that i won't grow -too- fat i guess.

btw. shopping here ain't fantastic either. but it's quite fun i suppose :D the lectures have got tons of demonstrations (the only parts where i stay awake... ) and they're really fun. the lecturers are really crazy too which helps i suppose :D am too well conditioned to sleep whenever people launch into monologues... anyhow. yesterday was abt light and EM and stuff and today was cryptology and a little on quantum (where he promptly skipped all the complex equations. hurrah :)

no one send me mail. i is sad :/ ah well. and lam's studying for finals (good luck girl!) and yups. everyone else is having fun i suppose. and i'm alternating between freezing my fingers off and getting burnt. weird weather melbourne has... :D and what with the flies... aaaargh.

hey! am so happy. first time i've touched a com in -days-. it's been relatively cold here (after the first 2 days of extreme heat :) and so i haven't been warm in like 2 days. tho it's only abt 26 degrees out today according to the radio. but aaargh. i need extra layers of insulation:P i miss you all! it's lovely here tho cept for the constant swarm of assorted flies that follow us -everywhere-. heh. anyone wants australian postmarks? i'll send postcards (soon) if you wanna receive them :D but i need addresses cos like the only one i have is lydia's... hmmmm. email me! sms me! (my phone is up and running! finally. but yeah. it ain't cheap. i'll prob use like internet sms which i pray is free :)

love the dress sense in melbourne :P everyone's in nice short skirts. but i'm too cold for that unfortunately. and the surfwear here is the same price as back home. or maybe more ex. riiiight. so there goes my shopping spree :/ but of course queen vic market is absolutely gorgeous :) you change in the back of trucks (as in changing rooms for trying on clothes?) and the wind is so absolutely strong that the curtains threaten to whip open and display pple in their otherwise undressed states. :D

tumteetum. miss you love you send me mail :) -muah-

i'm hyper and can't get to bed :) the plane will leave in... 10 hours and 25 minutes :D i'm so paranoid. while packing all i could think of was... if my luggage gets lost would i be able to survive on my carryon bag? if i get pickpocketed would i still have enough money to buy my stuff? if someone slashes my bag/if i lose it/if i forget where i put my money (highly possible seeing how i've stashed money in a 100 different places)

ok. in case i do not come online anymore in the next two weeks (well nigh impossible) i have a dozen little things to say to everyone! :D

jireh: please don't die during your operation. highly impossible anyway... but take care and eat soft food!
lynette kahli yl anna wei gi des aman: yay :) let's go watch rotk when i return :) funky groovy. i love ya all and don't miss me too much!
to my class: please please please think of sthg to do for class outing! let's not be so sian :D erm. pref sthg not to do with either the sun's daily routine
to senior class: yay! your exams are finally over!! have fun relaxing and we must go out tog one of these days :) and erm. yeah. frederik: i know i still owe you a present! but its whereabouts are as yet unknown :)

yay. and to all of you pple. have a great holiday cos i know i'm going to!!

there is a thin line between gratuitous violence and art. i don't know where that line is. fight club was disturbing to say the least. amazing but disturbing. now i figure that if i really want to know what i want to do in life, i'll just get someone to point a gun and my head and scream threats and obscenities at me and i'll come up with an answer.

bored out of my mind. there's just one word to describe the going-ons in my life right now: NOTHING. aaaargh. there really is -nothing- to talk abt nthg to think abt nthg to do anything abt!! bahh. ok. maybe there's packing. but i've shoved my gigantic luggage out of sight, out of mind :) which is sort of bad but heck care la. downloading fight club now. taking eons but eons are what i have... eons of empty time/space stretching out ahead of me. ominous <-- oooh. tt looks like omnibus. why is omnibus omni - bus ? like ok... omni meaning every/all (i.e. omniscient, omnipotent) but bus? hmmm.

ENTP - "Inventor". Enthusiastic interest in everything and always sensitive to possibilities. Non-conformist and innovative. 3.2% of the total population.

Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test

really?! v unreal.

voilà! the fashion show from hell. i've discovered that everytime i have to pack my luggage i don't have enough clothes. ergo, mom ransacks entire place for clothes that look even remotely like my size. you cannot imagine how scary it is! the downright ugly, the ill-fitting, the mismatching... you name it we've got it. the backlog of weird clothes just goes on and on. i nv fail to wonder at our (collective) bad taste from years back. and now i'm v tired from changing into a neverending assortment of bad clothes to find just one set to wear for formal nights. it also doesn't help that it's going to be colder there resulting in unsuitability of normal clothes. aaargh. it would really help if i had more nice clothes :) yeah right.

it appears that sunsets do not wait for anyone. so we found out yesterday. :P ah well.

the buskers' fest was fun i suppose. but they do so lack in creativity sometimes... like in the space of an hour two fireeaters cracked the stupid joke abt fire tasting like chicken. sigh. gets a little painful :) even if it -was- delivered by a relatively cute guy :) but fun :) i wondered if they made fish-flavoured fire. or maybe steak-flavoured but charlene refused to speculate on it with me for some weird reason.

it's so crazy sometimes. i'm bored out of my mind and yet i refuse to do anything. like now.

i sometimes wonder if i have self-destruction tendencies... wanted to cut my hair today... so i walked out to the shops near my house and just got into the first hairdresser's i saw. now my hair is back to the same state as it was when i was moaning about how short and icky it was. riight :)

ahhh. as usual. dinner interrupted highly engrossing rugby final :/ missed all the secondhalf crazy stuff that happened :( sigh. all that extra time! but still. it was hilarious. me and my bro were sitting near the window at the restaurant (not really -window- but like a glass wall :) and squinting into the pub across the road trying to watch the match sans commentary on the bigscreen tv :D my brother was telling me stuff like.. flatley converted a penalty! and seconds later jonny scored a drop goal! and since i couldn't really see anything due to a combination of badeyesight and badplacing... aaargh. thought for a moment he was bluffing. heh. anyhow. after establishing the score (20-17) i went back gleefully to tom yam soup and stuffed chicken wings :D the food was really good.

hehe. my hands now smell queerly of lavender/durian. and my stomach is churning... damn i've been eating too much and exercising too little... i've been facing a screen all day these past few days. and my eyesight is deteriorating. again. sigh... and i'm still indignant that lam's grown taller! while i'm still languishing. hrmph. it must be the air over there. or the food :P

ok. i need to go get a life. see you around :)

p.s. marathon tickets are all sold out! so i guess we'll forgo the 12 hour ordeal of sitting in a crowded cinema with noisy uncivic-conscious cinema goers who probably aren't all crazy fanatics like some of us are.

p.p.s. we are getting tickets asap! cos like tickets are going scarily -scarily- fast. according to my sis some cinemas' evening shows are sold out till christmas eve. like wth! hrmph.

omg.... ichat av rocks so much!!! everyone go get it!! :) then we can -talk-.

opened the newspapers today and saw: Trilogy Marathon Open For Booking!!! who wants to go who wants to go? hehe. need s1 to book tickets. it's on dec17 but i dunno other details :) haven't been so pumped up in ages :) have been languishing in boredom and sianness the past few days. hurry hurry hurry. am paranoid the tickets will sell out! worst nightmare of the year.

hehe. finally went for the body-whatever exhibition. it's... scientifically v cool. kinda like when we went to NUH to see the preserved parts. it was really similar except for the people who were sort of dissected and hmmmm. felt a little like a morbid art exhibition. but what was fascinating were the jars of embryos from 1 or 2 weeks to 8 weeks... and the 8 week one was at most 2cm long and yet it had the most perfectly formed fingers and toes. but i suppose i couldn't get rid of the niggling fact that for that embryo to have been in the jar it had to have died a long time ago. ah well. it would have made more sense if i were a bio student tho...

gosh i want panther now now now now now! totally rocking. i'm going to borrow it off you k shauna? hehe. yay... it's 11.36 in the morning. it's 22.36 over in pa. waiting :)

i think i'm practically the only person who's truly slacking ard this holidays... everyone has training. or sthg else occupying their time... and so far? hmmm. i've been mugging french/chinese. and after that i've been.. shopping reading slacking growing layers ard meself... i don't think i'll feel the cold in melbourne what with the extra insulation i've grown :)
finally got the skirt i've been wanting to get since forever. cept when i tried it on i realised... sigh. truth is so cruel. but i persuaded myself i'll get back in shape again (yeah right) and so i got it anyway. heh.

i don't like organising class outings! i get so pissed off i decide against going. ah well :) what a failure of a welfare rep i am... tumteetum. the attempt to go to the expo is officially declared -failed-. it isn't much of an outing where only 4 pple can go (including me) and 3 of them are rushing down from training. riiight. damn.

it is really scary how sometimes oblique hateful references can appear to apply to me and then i really hope and pray that it doesn't but i realise how disgusting a person i've become.

rugby is so violent and so chaotic. but oh such fun.

newton is such a ripoff. i love love -love- the oysters but the other stuff there is disgustingly overpriced!

my brother is such a crazy nut. but owing to his belief that he must appear cool and suave in front of other people he doesn't get goofy except at home. and in the car... heh. don't tell him i said anything :P but anyhow. other than the ego-killing constant pokes he gives me to compare the -ahem- level of firmness of our biceps <-- erm. nonexistent for me. he's really such a sweet brother :) like when i was bored yesterday. he did the button song which he learnt in camp. it's incredibly incredibly lame. and ends off with him shaking his body convulsively (long story.).

hehe. our french tchr is going to be so... ecstatic when he gets our gift :) it's hilarious. i hesitate to describe it here for fear that he actually frequents our blogs. now that's a scary thought :P

whoa :) nz vs aust tomorrow!!! hehe. rugby is such a violent sport. they hurl their 200kg-2metre bodies around and it's just so cool to watch. there isn't another sport where they attack one another so readily :) and it's all in the name of sport too! right. they all look like neanderthals tho.. ok. maybe just the scrum people. but still. amazing resemblances. and crap. i can't watch it tmr cos i have to go for the farewell party :( i hope the-other-crystal doesn't mind if i usurp her tv for rugby... or at most. i'll crash one of my classmates' places. :D

tumteetum. i was going to write stuff abt my mom. but. i'll leave it for another day i suppose...

"... and my body trembled from head to toe like i had swallowed somebody's vibrating pager."

riiiiight.

ewww... i am disgusted at myself. i'm bellicose and confrontational. and i'm positive it's the fault of 10 months of jc. sigh. right. the rest of my class is at chalet :( and i'm uberbored. i refuse to study french! ok. maybe later. right now i'm moping that i did not hesitate to want to pick a fight with this ah lian. damn.

mwahaha. c'est fini! ok. maybe just pw. but that was the most disgusting anyway.

jc has made me foul. i now no longer hesitate to scream f--- at the whole world. (ok. not here. i'm trying to cultivate a gentler image here). plus. i now have reason.

i have murderous tendencies. current target: person who ever -ever- even dreamed about implementing pw.

you murderer of trees and glutton of free time! you killer of -ironically- group work and group dynamics! you creator of selfish pieces of crap! i have to take revenge surtout for the trees. you have any idea how many stacks of 1 1/2" files are utterly filled with crappy pieces of paper whose sole purpose is for the selfish pieces of crap to claim their fame? damn.

haha :) back from movie fest at crys' house. trois et demi films. :) tho i just remember alternating between being famished and being really stuffed. and i mean -really- stuffed :) sigh. if the kids weren't downstairs now i would go swim off all these calories. but. ah well. thwarted!!

i really love yamakasi and the really cool chinese guy in it :) hehe. damn funky :) ok wait. the whole night/morning we were just gushing over cute guys :) which is so wrong :P but. the two french movies i've already watched before.. hell. i've watched all three and a half of the movies before! but still... it was really fun watching the movies/dozing off/getting woken up/gorging :) it's amazing how watching little mermaid makes me feel like a little kid all over again. with prince -ahem- eric who's really Prince Charming... and sebastien :)

and about that kiss, you've got to look your best tomorrow! you've got to bat your eyelids like this -proceeds to flutter his humonguous scarlet eyelids- and pucker your lips like this -puckers up lips-

hehe. and then i realised that i was the only one laughing cos crys had gone to sleep. heh. anyhow :) left her a message on the funtabulous magnadoodle board which i absolutely adore. i want one too :/ ah well. hope she doesn't mind waking up and finding me gone and a whole load of trash on the floor... i -did- stay ard to see if she'd wake up... even tentatively calling her names a few times to see if she'd awaken. in the end i had to go traipsing around the house in search of helen to open the gate. damn. i seem to have many memories of myself stuck in crys' house trying to look for helen to open the gate to let me out.

i'm not even sleepy. but that's probably cos of the 3-4 hours of sleep i managed to sneak in as well as the fact that i didn't do anything yesterday. speaking of which. i still need to get present for frederik. and i have no idea what.. cept that it's prob going to be sthg lameass :D sigh. please ask the little kids to go away so i can swim in peace! brrrrrrr.

there's something special about talking deep into the night about just anything and everything. the proverbial wall is rising brick by brick and the bridge we've built has crumbled. i miss the way it was. i want to stuff time back its silly ass and go back to how it used to be. funny how we're always talking about the future when all i want is to pull my security blanket back over my head and hide.

sometimes it feels as though a good cry would be able to settle everything. but all that does is make my face red and blotchy and sticky as well as purge my body of some salt and urea. it sometimes feels as if all that has happened is too surreal. that perhaps if i claw my way through this false imagery i'd find out that, hey. things -did- turn out the way it was supposed to after all.

it's at this point that i realise that (haha :) chinese is a much prettier language than english to express sorrow and anguish without it sounding overly cheesy and lameass. but. my blog somehow cannot read the chinese encoding so too bad.

bleargh. tiring to fiddle with blogs. but in anycase. my class one is finally resuscitated! headachey now. so shall probably go to sleep.

chinese was terrible. i can't believe it... i was dying! hate chinese with a vengeance now. had v un-understandable comprehension... would anyone care to tell me what the movie xing yuan was about?

finally. i repaired my background which was strangely missing...

happy.
finally got down to swim without it raining on me. nearly drowned tho since my brother was popping out from everywhere so i couldn't swim in a straight line, and doing stuff like grabbing my leg and distracting me :) he looks like such a little kid when his hair is plastered to his head instead of the typical ac-do.

sad.
bleargh. turns out the touch tourney was a one-day affair. turns out that all our prior confidence came to naught. turns out that char was so pissed i think it's the first time i've ever seen her scream fuck (ok. thru sms. but still.) damn. i should have been there! not that i could have done anything but at least i wouldn't feel like i-should-have-voodooed-them. sheesh.

resigned.
chinese tmr. nthg studied. nthg done. mom asked me so. how many minutes of chinese did you study today? (answer: about half an hour?) sigh. plus. i'm convinced that everyone's in collusion...

me to my mom: i want to get a bikini in melbourne :) my friend says it's way cheaper there!
mom: you'll have to go to the kids' section...

plus. i get stuff like this practically everyday in school! aaaargh. sad :( ok. maybe not sad -sad-. just. you know what i mean.

2 days. and nthg done. bah. it totally doesn't feel like i'm taking ao's on friday... if i don't do well i suppose i'll think back disgustedly at today and curse and swear at myself for not having done sthg sooner. bleargh.

i don't ever want to be someone else other than myself. cos then i'd look at myself and see how horrible i've been/am. i think if i were you i wouldn't like me.

hehe. my classmate tells me i sound v angsty on my blog. to him: i so do not! i'm perfectly happy. sometimes. and the rest of the time. i suppose. ah well. angsty still has a rather negative connotation! sigh. last day of school tomorrow! i should be happier but... i feel nothing in particular.. it's just been a really jinxed year <-- refer to list of misfortunes :) and hehe. i hope venus is in a happier house next year!

haha.. today's studying jaunt with crys was -such- a failure! it was soup wednesday :) and so we had a really dubious sounding broccoli puree with navy beans. ew. anyway. looked like green gook, tasted like soup :) which was good. after which i blew all my money on sticky bun, and tossed tomato salad :P ok. not me who blew the money.. more like crys.. since in the end i didn't really pay for anything :/ and i kept wanting to talk instead of mug :( ah well.

i hate the sky :( i just came back from swimming all of 5 minutes in the pool cos it was raining and thundering :/ and then once i got up, it promptly stopped. and then cos i was thwarted in my attempts to get healthy, i ate up all the food left on the dining table. damn. sigh. :(:(:(

tumteetum. somehow i feel very happy when i'm at home :) might be the sight of all the wood ard the house or maybe it's just that i love being at home :) though of course. occasionally/frequently i get bored. and then i refuse to stay in the house anymore :) haha. i was so colour co-ordinated today i think i might have gone ott :D the jane's-nike-orange bag plus new orange waterbottle :) didn't have orange shoes/earrings/hairband/hair/whatever tho :) but. there *was* my orange umbrella which i was forced to whip out in the rain :) so there. i was a walking orange.

i ought to study chinese considering it's supposed to be chinese lesson now and i'm at home... but. i think i'll put it off till tmr when i go mug with crys :) i just realised... chinese in 3 days, pw in 7, french in 8 and 9 days. hmmmm. and i thought promos was -it-. seems i have to buckle down again :/ eww.

know what? the more i think about that red jacket. the more i'm in love... despite the fleece. despite the price. despite promising myself i'm nv going to splurge. aaaargh. torturous... hehe. do you remember those shows where they gave you 10-15 minutes and you grab whatever you want and then they give it to you for free? i want one of those in nike! i'll make a beeline for the jacket and erm. conveniently take whatever else is in sight too :)

i have so so so much inertia i must have dark matter in me. when i finish class i refuse to go home and instead linger ard in hopes of finding someone to talk to... and then when i sit down i can't get myself to move anymore than necessary... it's like i'll get a comfy spot somewhere to start reading a book. and 10 hours later, i'll still be in the same spot. providing i haven't finished the book that is...

sigh... embarrassing. i think too much about what people think about me and it makes me miserable. if only i could read minds then i'll save all the trouble of secondguessing everyone else. :) then again. if only i could teleport. fly. ride a dragon. breathe fire. use the Will and the Word. hehe. cook :)

it's amazing how guys act differently in front of guys and in front of girls

when s1 is inexplicably irritating do i ignore the person? even if the person is totally clueless?

i'm positive i'm schizo. i (for some unknown reason) am feeling utterly miserable now but i'm sure if you're chatting to me now you can't tell. it's so easy to :) and :D to assure everyone that things are ok and fine. it's so much easier to deal :) see what i mean? bah.

i wanna camp at wheelock place! attraction no 1:: exile's choice by lackey which is the one abt alberich :D
attraction no 2: ipod
attraction no 3:: padded pretty laptop bag by the brand with the dude on the logo. right. i don't know its name but i know it's freaking ex la.
attraction no 4: (and most most enticing): gorgeous gorgeous bright red nike jacket :) ooooooh. i love red, and i adore the cut :) plus. it went really well with the miniskirt i was wearing today... cept. it's 120 bucks and it's thermal wear :( bleargh. it's absolutely brilliant... :/ plus. i also love the spag top thingy in the same colour :) just walk into a nike shop. i'm in love.

i abhor idiocy. i hate stupidity. if there's anything to drive me up the wall it's people making ridiculous requests. i refuse to see things from your point of view anymore. it's making me sick and tired and it's bloody exhausting. so you freaking make up your mind and -tell- me. then i'll see how. hello? otherwise.

i feel just a tad stupid now. went out on a jaunt to take photos of the cats. brought the cam out. and got locked out of the house. sigh. my sister was deaf to all my efforts to let her know that -hey. i'm outside the house without a key. can you please open the door?- sighhh. hehe. was v embarrassed in case s1 walked past and saw me outside banging on the door, jumping up on the window grille to see if i could steal a phone out of my grandma's room and stuff. so i sat outside my door taking photos of shoes, filching a banana from the kitchen window then finally realising that hey. i could press the doorbell (the one that's downstairs since the one outside my door is mute) ah well. at least it's sunday morning. ergo v few people around to witness my stupidity :/

mg funfair is incredibly fun :) despite the hordes and hordes of people :) despite the fact that i actually spent most of my time with my mom being introduced to her colleagues. haha... there were inflatable castles in the field! which were absolutely gorgeous. and a mini viking which jac called a boat :) and just crazy exclassmates-of-jac... hehe. so damn fun. but so tiring to wend your way through huge crowds and being surrounded by so much stuff and yet having nthg i really want to spend my 50 bucks on. but still. it'd be incredibly cool to have inflatable castles in the hc field!! and then we won't have to fight with little kids to slide down on them :) somehow. the castles seem to cast a magic spell on the whole day :) and make it seem as if i've really been to a funfair. but boy was the place filthy... but. funfairish nonetheless :)

when sylvester/wile e. coyote/antagonist of cartoons run off a cliff, they always manage to get a few feet past the edge (just enough so that they can't run back when they realise) before they inevitably look down and go uhoh and subsequently plunge into the ground where they lie all mangled :) i always wondered. if they never looked down, never realised that they were walking on air, wouldn't they then continue indefinitely, defying all laws of gravitation? and then we'd have 'levitating' coyotes and cats and wait. tweety and roadrunner would not exist :/

10 months to get to know someone is really long isn't it? and it isn't until now that i realise that i've been blind and deaf to everything that has happened around me, too caught up in myself. too caught up in all of -me-. and somehow i feel like i've been naughty all over again. because i didn't heed the lessons to observe and learn, to look and to understand. i feel like i've wasted all my years studying literature. what's the point of being able to analyse to death each action and each significant event if i can't do it in real life?

sigh. just realised that a v long v informative letter i sent to lam was empty :/ and it was long enough ago that i do not remember what i sent! bah.

was looking through my kiddy photos... realised that i really was quite a pretty kid! i had gorgeous hair and skin. which is -so- nonexistent right now i'm sad :/ damn. :) haha. when i'm bored enough i'll scan them in :D

it's terrible to know that i can be such a tactless bitch. and knowing that i -care- that i'm actually hurting people however unintentional :/ i can't deal with stuff. sigh. i have lousy emotional management skills. wait. that sounds really familiar. have i said that before? ah well. my classmates told me that my blog is so me. at least. that's what i think they said :) that's happy!! :D

after incredble highs i always drop into bottomless ravines. i need endorphins.

210 minutes!!!! that's 3 hours and 30 minutes!!! that's a total of what... 9 -10 hours of a trilogy?! i love you!!

happy day :) econs overall got an A!!! gosh. i love my econs god. :) and i got an A for gp too!! :) a 2 tho... but still :) hopefully after adding in BT and everything i'm an A1 :) then i'll have 3 of those... haha.. so things aren't so bad after all! the clouds have cleared away after the rain. for me only tho :/ some things are still damn shittified.

ooh. i'm brutal and fucking mean. i love myself.

haha :) it's amazing how 24 hours can wrought such radical changes. i'm not the same person i was 24 hours ago (or hell. even just 3 hours ago) and i never will be again. i never thought about people in quite this way but now that perception has inevitably been coloured -thus-. i get stuck in a rut. and i can't get myself out of thinking around in circles. it's like how we're supposed to do sthg *creative* and then the teacher shows us a sample and suddenly all our creative works turn out strikingly similar to the sample.

i admire people who love with their hearts. the people whose lives are governed by the little chemicals that our brains trigger when we're high in love or when we crash. for people who don't ruminate about what they feel. to regurgitate and chew it all over again like some sick little kid who just can't get enough of his food. yes. i love conversations where people know exactly what i feel. who know how my brain is wired. who think the same way i do. who give advice which i know i can follow. except that things happen all the time. and even before one problem is properly resolved another pops up to take its place in even greater glory in all its complexity.

Be careful what you wish for. You might just get it. like Melon boy. he was so sad he had a melon for his head he wished he were dead. and then -squish-. that's tim burton for you.

i never know when to let things well alone. and i guess i never will. i enjoy working my brain overly much i think.

i'm sorry i forgot!! :/ okok.. so michelle was pegasus :) the llittle imp that she was :P

it's early in the morning. there are times i look in the mirror early in the morning and i wonder what bomb fell on me in the middle of the night. and a veritable bomb did. last night :)

haha.. i think the greek deities we were known for in primary school were incredibly telling. claire was sweet and pretty persephone. i was horrible and stupid ares :( lam was sneaky and devious hermes. wei was haha.. stupid and flirtations zeus. fuzzy was quiet and demure hestia, michelle was? i don't remember... pan? :p ah well. it was ever so fun.

horoscopes are such phony things :P if i were a true taurean i'd be steady reliable practical placid good-natured and slow to anger.

i love hugging people. especially when i'm in a foul mood. just to bury myself and hide myself from everything. i'm an ostrich and i want to bury my head in the sands.

i've nv tried ignoring someone so blatantly before. it's really mean isn't it? even if the person in question is undisputedly irritating and whatever :/ sighs. but i am in no mood to be nice and friendly and coddle him. oh dear. but if he's *really* trying to be nice it's really terrible ain't it? whatever.

i am a bad friend :(

:(:(:( whoa. i hate tv. ok maybe i don't. but i hate how there's nothing to watch cept stupid people prancing around pretending to be cute and endearing. die. i'm getting so antisocial! hrmph. i'm horrible and i couldn't care less! bah. humbug.

it's majorly embarrassing crying in public. but it's not my fault if i can't control it right? to be a complete wuss just tops off everything. how satisfying. it's worse when i fall so short of my expectations. i'm utterly totally disgusted. and when i'm in that mood everything just exarcerbates my tendency to ignore everyone and everything and just -go to sleep-

i could go into a tirade now about various disgusting things but i think i'll just go email lam and spare you all the sordid details. and plus. the person singing on tv now is hilarious. :P she's singing while dancing ballet with her back facing the audience and wearing a mask on the back of her head. and the next person singing is outoftune and singing while twirling a hoolahoop :D gosh. talk abt utterly sidesplitting!!

things get happier towards the end :) the chinese sure got it right when they made dinner tables round instead of loooong :D the first time we've ever had a chinese dinner together. and it's freaking ex la.. the next time we go out we're just going to have plain ol' tze cha. right. however you spell it! anyway. it's really really fun :) somehow things start to pick up and everything starts getting laced with a tinge of i-don't-wanna-go-but-i-have-to. so then a frenzied session of chatting crazily about -stuff- just wraps up everything nicely.

mwahahaha :) today was a major improvement over regular des'house gatherings. well. we were still stuck at s1's house but at least this time we had pretty great food and damn funky gossip session :D we mauled two hot chicks :P and sushi and tons of fruit and oodles of noodles. and bridged and gossipped and went nuts. it's just plain wondrous to get to -talk- to people who think the same way. and hilarious when they don't :)

cryptic messages are so fun! but ah well. i don't get to do that often cos inevitably s1 will understand me. sighhh :) haha.. it's amazing how weilin and us have 'class gatherings' when we didn't even really talk to each other for a couple of years after p6 la... :) and i have terrible head for names. i don't even remember half the gossip i hear cos i simply can't remember their names :/ how pathetic! bah. terrible.

it's pure joy to be able to just sit down and talk about just anything with a bunch of pple who think the same way as you do :) i love ya all babes! :P

tireds.... ah well. :) reverted back to a little rg girl today :D it's v happy you know. i'm in my pinafore and i can run and jump and sit in anyway i want! much nicer than the hc skirt :) but unfortunately :( my jinxed nike bag has lost my shirt this time :/ so now i have one extra skirt with no top. sigh. yesterday my bag swallowed up the dance cd so that me *and* chaneng couldn't find the cd at all despite repeated searches... then charlene came and whipped it out of my bag where it was not supposed to be. hrmph.

open house is soooo boring. nthg much happens. cept for me standing with charlene in the middle of the central plaza with the sun blazing being stupid and taping the performance :/ i cramped from trying to hold the vidcam still... ah well.

i'm being blackmailed from the right. pushed from the left. pressured from all round. i think i shall dive into a deep ravine.

why are people so interested in my nonexistent love life? gosh. ok. maybe you care. but i is very confused :(

aqhsudofahsdoghal;sdkfjsashdgouajwasdj.

bah. i have nothing to do. i don't have the written report so how? damn. sighhh. plus. i'm tired and bored. and there's no one online who wants to talk to me :/ gosh. that sounds pathetic. seems like my life is reallllllly boring. especially since i seem to be living lam's life vicariously. which is so much moremore fun :P

damn. stupid teasing is getting to new heights in class!! sighhh.. SOME pple in class have nothing better to do! haha. but yeah. they are... rather creative i must say. quite hilarious. at my expense. i wanna dig a hole and crawl into it sometimes when they get... coarse :) ah well. what'm i supposed to do with my class!!

ah well. disregard that. i love my class anyhow :) oh dear. ok. i don't like smses. they are so. insidious... i'm positive i've smsed totally off my limit :/ cos pple keep smsing me stupid stuff and i'm utterly obliged to answer. sighh. that sucks. i'm a slave to my phone :(

ok. shit damn fuck. i hate news like *that*. oh dearie me. i better ming2 zhe2 bao3 shen1 :(

oh dearie me. practically all the girls in my class are down with flu! and ermm. unfortunately with similar symptoms as me... i do hope i was not the fluspreader... but still. fos tmr. and none of us fit! sigh :) at least it's just for fun :) reminds me of our promise to ms ting... one goal in each match was that it? haha... and we were *ahem* good to our promise...

you can't step in the same river twice
the water's always changing always flowing

yay :) and i can see the little beaver grinning at pocahontas! my oh my what a wonderful day :D

haha :) sometimes cleaning out cupboards can be so rewarding :P imagine finding crappy stuff from sec 2 sitting in one corner happily screaming

The New Moospaper 11th May 2000
Outbreak of Mad Cow Disease in Small Rural Village

i don't even remember what is was for :) just that it's in lam's handwriting and i vaguely remember her and anna passing it to me sometime :) it's hilarious... maybe should transcribe it but. too lazy :)

plus. also found random bitching comments at the back of rough paper from. sometime :) haha...
me: i can't stand tchrs with those accusatory glances *pissed look*
jo: bitch (repeat to infinity) fat woman!!!
me: haha. mean but true. we were *so* paying attention can?
jo: can!
hmmmm. i wonder who we were talking bout? weird :)

ahhhhhhh. i feel vaguely healthful now :) after days of being conked out for the dead :D and it's saturday!! i have piano later tho. i need to get books :) started on the stupid book zsing passed me... from plato to nietzsche damn. remember going all philosophical after sophie's world.. but. that was a long time ago.. and was rushing irs report on freud.. so ah well :)

feeling v langourous today :) mmmmmmmm :D not doing anything. but well. that's so normal nowadays. shall go read now! tata!

nv thought i'd see the day :) itunes4 is sitting happily on my desktop. my pc! amazing. maybe's there's hope after all!! :D

i look horrible in my new passport. eeeargh. at least i don't think i look like a terrorist. but. terrifying is quite apt i suppose :P i is a leetle groggy now. maybe from sleeping so much. but my flu is horribly tenacious. and refuses to go away! bah. how disgusting. eww. transgender barbie is looking at me sneakily. go away too!!

the tribe has spoken

it's friday night! and i have nothing to do... i don't even like watching survivor. so i can possibly just go sleep. i have exhausted all possibilities of doing stuff online! aaargh. i've taken all the kooky stupid tests, had my ego boosted umpteen times only to be brought crashing back with stuff like... you're a poseur! :P ah well. and then i can't download anymore stuff cos my connection is unfathomably slow.. unlike jireh who has scarily high turnover rates :P

oh yeah. realised the horrors of classmates' gossipping today. not the malicious evil type (which was what lam thought i was complaining about :) but the scarier *muahahaha* i know what is going on kind of gossip. at least with the former i can just be selfrighteous and like scream or sthg. ok guys. here's it: stay out of my business thank you v much :)

ok. feel sorethroaty again. damn. and since no one is talking to me :/ i'll go off now

yay!! i'm so happy for you dear :P i love you tons!

My inner child is six years old!

Look what I can do! I can walk, I can run, I can
read! I like to do stuff, and there's a whole
big world out there to do it in. Just so long
as I can take my blankie and my Mommy and my
three best friends with me, of course.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

ok. i would have linked it proper from quizilla but the pic of tt angel is... so gross. right. i think i'm going to flood this with stupid quiz results :( i'm an angel!

You are Form 2, Angel: The Pure. "And The Angel rose as holy protector for all that was created. She fought with honor and valor to serve the good of the world. But the coming of the mankind was her downfall; and end to purity." Some examples of the Angel Form are Michael (Christian) and Hercules (Greek). The Angel is associated with the concept of virtue, the number 2, and the element of wind. Her sign is the zenith sun. As a member of Form 2, you are a person of your word. You generally keep your promises and give everything you do your best. Although some people see you as overbearing sometimes, you know that you have to stay true to yourself and do what's right. Angels are the best friends to have because they are brutally honest.


You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never
knows what you're going to come up with next;
this creates great excitement and arousal never
knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end
in a kiss as great as your mystery.


What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

haha... ok. so maybe the guys in my class got it right..i'm a little on the androgynous side... haha.. this is *so* hideous.

You're Transgender Barbie! You're well, there's no
way to describe you. Pick a sex and stay with
it!


If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla

You're the suggestive grin,mostly used while
flirting and accompanied by the come-hither
look.You're either an attention hog or way too
insecure to not be in the spotlight at all
times.No one can quite tell.Calm down and learn
to be regular,ya perv.


What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

haha.. this is funny. yeah right!!! bored at home. coughing maulingownlunch watchinglousytv how pathetic i am :( aaaaarghhhhhh.

bah... there're stuff that normal people equipped with common sense would not do. and kudos to them! i'm so incredibly... *sigh*

things normal people would not do when they're hit with flu.
1. go sing ktv with raspy throat --> the pins in my throat have advanced into daggers.
2. continue eating scrumptilicious chocolate mint cookies.
3. not bring tissue when nose is prone to running. <-- don't ask. too disgusting.

aaargh. and a dozen other things. which results in me now having horrible horrible voice. plus phlegm plus whatever. aaaaaaaargh. i hate being sick! awful.

to all you people still taking your promos... hey dearies :) i survived! not intact, but still kinda alive... albeit sick and dejected. so. don't stress too much k? if there's anything... just call me. at human hours if you please :) am only too glad to oblige :) love ya all! <-- i keep saying that. but it doesn't diminish any i promise.

Brief Analysis

The first name of Shan leads you to assume considerable responsibility and to prefer to work independently, without direction or interference from others because you have very definite ideas of your own. Your mind is quick to comprehend and you can be depended upon to do any job well. Because you tend to be somewhat of a perfectionist, you might insist on doing too many things yourself instead of delegating jobs to others who might do less satisfactory work. This name does make you quite direct and straight-to-the-point. Your verbal expression does not reflect your inner thoughts and feelings, and you often wonder why people react to what you say. The influence of this name does not promote the friendship that you desire or the relaxation and naturalness you should enjoy with people. It is a name that makes you far too practical and serious-minded, and makes it difficult for you to act with spontaneity.

 
Health Weaknesses
You could suffer physically through head tension, with eye, teeth, or sinus problems, headaches, or mentally through worry.


oooh. teeth problems. that sounds familiar :)

aaaargh. physics is over. i feel like i'm giving a blowbyblow account of a fight i'm losing. somehow all the spapers seem so far away now :/ and it all seemed so so easy a long time ago. a long time ago when exams were adrenaline inducing shots :) and now i stress so freakily i don't know how people cope! but speaking of which. it's much easier to cope with the stomachblowing anticipation when i'm actually taking my exams cos there simply isn't any time to do *anything*.

i haven't done anything after physics today cept to sleep eat and watch tv. i would have liked to read sthg but i couldn't find anything :( that's like incredibly sad. and now i feel like i'm coming down with the flu virus that seems to be ravaging everything in sight. i think i'm catching it from my brother :/ since it seems like his entire school is down with it. aaargh. not good. sigh. it's really pathetic to see my ganglylongarmedlonglegged brother sprawled on the bed and looking really sick. made me feel vaguely motherhen-ish. that is... until he started commandeering me ard doing stuff for him. and it wasn't even commanding commandeering. it was the.. i'msickandpathetic.couldyoufinditinyourhearttodosthgforurpoorbrother kind of thing. sigh... :)

i love cats i love cats! :D really pretty cats :) the sphinx is kinda freaky tho... and i much prefer roundfaced siamese cats to the triangular ones :D

oh no! i asked my mom and she refuses to let me call lam :( what am i going to do? :(

oh gosh! let's go for the french film festival marathon!! it's on saturday 8th november!! ça coûte 24 dollars pour les quatres filmes! haha... de 11.30 à 7.30 le dimanche! :P hmm. les filmes sont Embrassez qui vous voudrez, Une femme de ménage, Tanguy, Fureur. yups :) let's go go go! haha... oh yeah. i'm kinda in the middle of my promos now.. but wth! :) let's go k? haha... should be fun.

oh no! this is pathetic/hilarious...

my blog gets listed when you search for "my tummy expanded" :(

hmmm. hmmmmm. there's sthg about studying all day that is so incredibly boring i seriously have nothing to blog about. cept.

lam. do you want an orlando poster? it came in lime mag (not that i ever buy lime but it's a backdated issue from my sis' bf's office :) unfortunately, tho he looks pretty good in it, there're two holes near his nose from staple marks... :)

sigh. i want to download shows now! cept. i promised myself i wouldn't even *touch* bittorrent until after promos. sighhh. i quite like everwood :D the show that's on after gilmore girls finished... abit preachy.. but ah well :P tumteetum. i love ya all :) thanks for pullling me out of stresshole :D

my mood swings so violently i worry myself. i seriously believe i'm about to crack :/

worries/stressfulstuff: about to expire passport and stupid closed photo studio, my dad asking me to upload his sedona photos for him, my ankle which is swollen (again), not studying and generally being bloody hormonal and pissed off. i can't stand this. how can anyone deal with the mood swings?

it's gorgeous stepping into simply bread and just inhaling the smell of the breads and the coffee :) it's absolutely heavenly. i'm convinced the aroma makes me study study study :D v fun. but unfortunately the combination of coffee and lots of water made for frequent toilet runs :)

ok. i now swear by sloman! he's so much more comprehensive than my tutor... and so much more informative than my lecture notes (esp since i copied half my notes while half asleep resulting in illegible handwriting and bits of incoherent dreamwords like sailor, and stuff.) ahhhh :) it's next week. that's like... really close. really scary. talked to fuzzy today... and we were collectively exclaiming over the fact that this is the first time we're seriously studying studying. and all seriously freaked out :/ ah well. quite sick the education system is.

i need to think about what to do in university. i need an aim in life you know? what's the point of knowing i want to get a scholarship and go overseas to study if i don't even know wth i'm going to study? sigh. things i've thrown around since... forever :)

1. anthropology --- v v fun :) plus sociology possibly... but the problem is.. it has like zero economic value... what am i going to do!
2. political science :) --- in line with aim to become ambassador! quite impossible. but still :) v fun... dunno tho. i'm in two minds abt this. plus a minor in french :)
3. veterinarian medicine --- i would lovelovelove to be a vet somewhere :) best still. a marine-biologist-cum-vet :) that would be too cool. cept. this means i have to go through all those years of medicine right? sigh.. v put-offish.
4. astrophysicist --- extremely hard. extremely stupid to get into unless i'm a physics genius. which i am not unfortunately :(
5. law --- they say lawyers go to hell :(

ah well. i had better go concentrate on upcoming promos and make sure *make sure* i get 2 S papers. otherwise i can go kill myself over dreams evaporated.

i love you all! but unfortunately my temper is getting as short as the time is left to promos :/ so if i snap and scream and shout at you and tell you to please leave me alone, don't take it the wrong way! and yes i will be nicer and less mean and less horrible after the promos. i hope :)

romeo and juliet keeps coming back :D especially since i heard shakespeare in love on the radio again :)

my bounty is as boundless as the sea
my love as deep; the more i give to thee,
the more i have, for both are infinite