sigh! just went out to post lam's letter... but seeing as how early in the morning it was (relatively of course :) the postbox wasn't there. long story. and i didn't think of walking over to the petrol kiosk to send it... sigh. just to double check tho... if i wrote 'by air' instead of getting the sticker it'd still work right? gosh. so anyway. i just popped by 711 for my breakfast :) nice saralee choc swirl. haha.. first time i've felt so industrious in a long while.
oh god. watching in mg dance vid again. and again. seeing as how i'm editting it for my mom. i love the lighting!! :) plus they're all v flexible. dancing is happy :D even if it's an angsty dance i guess.. ah well. i really *really* wanna watch the rg one! i've heard rave reviews bout their syf dance and i nv ever got to see it :/ bad senior that i am... ah well.
was v pissed yesterday... saturday was all set up to be a nice busy exciting day! no rda session these two weeks, so my day was supposed to start with nice piano lesson, then watching crys sheil and tim debate (not knowing tim, maybe it's more apt to say watching crys and sheil debate :) and then afterthat, go for touch dinner! :) like how fun right? so ok. day started out fine. piano lesson nice and fun :) what with nice fairy music and chopin nocturnes.. yups. so then, arrange to meet des at buona vista mrt.. and other than her being late (which was so expected :) everything was going to plan... then gorging at mac's and learning how to play gin properly... finding out that this issue of first has a gorgeous aragorn poster. ok. then we found the civil college no problemo. then stupid srjc people come and tell me that no you can't go in to watch the debate! cos you're not in full rj u! then i'm like wth? no one said anything!!! :/ hrmph. and it was too late to do anything abt it. and tracy was in worse state than me.. seeing as how she'd ponned training and rushed down from east coast no less... and she obv wasn't wearing her sch u. and she was even really from rj! hrmph. so i went home and sulked and didn't go for touch dinner :/ but not before i got a copy of first on the way home and was comforted :)
haha :) but. it was relatively ok lah. had huge indonesian dinner. v nice. v fattening but who cares? :P my cousin has really grown up! came to visit from hk... is apparently in shy quiet state. 13 yrs old and ermm. looking more grown up than my brother who's a yr older! hee :) sigh. iwant the nice sony ericsson phone that my aunt has... has bluetooth and camera. i don't want the camera! just the bluetooth :) then i could play with it and my powerbook :D happy.
sigh! the video is taking long time to import. shall go slack.
Cloudy Boracay
Wednesday, July 30, 2003
sigh... dance *really* sucked today :/ don't even ask why. got v worked up. so had icecream and milo to comfort self :) and crappy bitching/talking crap session at macs was really hilarious :P ah well :) oh yeah.. somehow seeing the cats makes me more at peace too! haha.. i need kittytherapy! despite thinking that peering under the cats' tails to determine their sex is rather discourteous, i am now *pretty* sure that the nice black one is mademoiselle chatte and the bigger scarier looking half-siamese is monsieur chat. righto :) it is v different having a big cat go round your legs than when a nice lithe pretty smaller cat does it :P
oh yeah! am bloody pissed about tmr :/ to 'celebrate' our 7 syf golds.. we get a paltry half day off!! :/ and it's not as if i'm grumbling abt nthg cos all in all we're missing like 1h and 20 minutes of school! aaaargh... and that time consists of a break and reading period. right. and our ct refuses to even push reading period fwd because supposedly 'i'm sure that they want to let you off only at 12.50 because they have sthg for you to do'. yeah right. so now we're stuck lazing ard for break and *then* lazing ard for reading period when we obviously can read at our own leisure. aaargh.. am cramping.. hurts like shit :/ *and* i find out that tchr's day rehearsal is on friday and we've only choreographed like 1 minute of the dance.... we're bloody screwed.
anyway. ohyeah :) had v inspiring speech today from overachiever doctor/champion sailor... haha :) tiredness is all in the mind. if you tell yourself you're not tired, you won't be! so am now embarking on plan to make 6 hours of sleep my optimum amount of sleep :P haha... considering that i normally need 8-10 hours i might not be v successful.. but. am inspired! must make use of that :)
ladida~ love ya all! don't ever forget!! :)
oh yeah! am bloody pissed about tmr :/ to 'celebrate' our 7 syf golds.. we get a paltry half day off!! :/ and it's not as if i'm grumbling abt nthg cos all in all we're missing like 1h and 20 minutes of school! aaaargh... and that time consists of a break and reading period. right. and our ct refuses to even push reading period fwd because supposedly 'i'm sure that they want to let you off only at 12.50 because they have sthg for you to do'. yeah right. so now we're stuck lazing ard for break and *then* lazing ard for reading period when we obviously can read at our own leisure. aaargh.. am cramping.. hurts like shit :/ *and* i find out that tchr's day rehearsal is on friday and we've only choreographed like 1 minute of the dance.... we're bloody screwed.
anyway. ohyeah :) had v inspiring speech today from overachiever doctor/champion sailor... haha :) tiredness is all in the mind. if you tell yourself you're not tired, you won't be! so am now embarking on plan to make 6 hours of sleep my optimum amount of sleep :P haha... considering that i normally need 8-10 hours i might not be v successful.. but. am inspired! must make use of that :)
ladida~ love ya all! don't ever forget!! :)
Monday, July 28, 2003
vraiment �puis�e... :/ j'ai fini mon essai chinois... c'est le plus smoked essai j'ai fait... sigh. this is seriously bad... nv have i ever crapped out so much crap for a topic i don't even really understand :/ like what the hell does one write for ����?������?��>=���?? sigh. anyway. i doubt lam's coming online today... :( ah well. was hoping! heee.. anyway. rg girls --- congrats!!! gold is damn cool lah :) haha... yay... our dancers are good or what? haha :) love this... even if i'm living thru all this by proxy... miss dance! miss rg dance more specifically... sigh sigh sigh... i really need to get some danse concentr� sooon. anyone on for some dance classes like really soon? i know i'm not free.. but if i don't get at least *someone* who's motivated enough to set classes up i also know i'll never get my bum off the ground.. somebody help me! anyway. i love bananarama... haha :) i mean even their name is quirky wot? haha... with corny lyrics like only you can set me free! cos i'm guilty, guilty as a girl can be. come on baby can't you see, i stand accused of love in the first degree now. is that better than i'm a slave for you or what? haha :D
Sunday, July 27, 2003
monsieur chat (i don't even know if it's a he or she cat) was all rubby today :) v v sweet. only thing is that it's shedding like crazy which means my pants after he was done with it was covered in little black hairs... ah well. the price i pay :P anyway. today was relatively fruitful day.. went orchard lib with yingling :) supposed to mug.. ended up only doing half my math assignment and half my physics tutorial only :) and managed to consume oreo cheesecake and cafe caramel (my fave hot coffee :) and potato wedges and onion rings. haha.. sounds like a lot :) but i didn't eat lunch! so it all balances out i guess...
ah well. it costs a dollar to send letter to lam. sigh! it's half as expensive to send by surface mail.. but by the time she gets it maybe the letter would have gotten stale and moldy :P ah well. so lam.. it's the address you posted on your blog right? am sending it tmr i guess... ah well. yesterday was super fun... crappy comm service for the amazing singapore race...
things i've nv done b4 but was treated to yesterday:
1. sitting in the back of a van on the floor and in all the stuffiness --> ok. so i've led a sheltered life. sue me.
2. seen so many condoms in one place before. ermm. yeah. 'used' condoms.
3. seen condom shaped like round bottomed flasks.
4. sat in the back of a closed lorry sitting on cartons cramped and in the dark and stuffy.
5. fed birds with live worms :) --> again. not my fault for having led a boring life before this.
ah well. experiences are the food of life :P before anyone misinterprets me on the condom stuff... it's cos the pple had to complete this task: haul water from the moat at tang dynasty and put one litre of it in a condom. yups! nthg dirty whatsoever :) anyway. madeleine and i were quite disgusted/amused :) ok. shall go off this train of thought now...
i've got a ruddy headache from reading seven up on the bus... and carrying stupid backpack laden with tooheavybooks. like les miserables. which i figured i better read... it's in english tho.. seeing as how i doubt i can tackle the french version :D sigh. i need to exercise more than i need to read tho! this sucks. clothes are so much easier to wear then. anyhow. saw yingling's photos of the party. ermmm. the only thing i can say is... it sure was more fun taking the photos than it is looking at them....
ah well. it costs a dollar to send letter to lam. sigh! it's half as expensive to send by surface mail.. but by the time she gets it maybe the letter would have gotten stale and moldy :P ah well. so lam.. it's the address you posted on your blog right? am sending it tmr i guess... ah well. yesterday was super fun... crappy comm service for the amazing singapore race...
things i've nv done b4 but was treated to yesterday:
1. sitting in the back of a van on the floor and in all the stuffiness --> ok. so i've led a sheltered life. sue me.
2. seen so many condoms in one place before. ermm. yeah. 'used' condoms.
3. seen condom shaped like round bottomed flasks.
4. sat in the back of a closed lorry sitting on cartons cramped and in the dark and stuffy.
5. fed birds with live worms :) --> again. not my fault for having led a boring life before this.
ah well. experiences are the food of life :P before anyone misinterprets me on the condom stuff... it's cos the pple had to complete this task: haul water from the moat at tang dynasty and put one litre of it in a condom. yups! nthg dirty whatsoever :) anyway. madeleine and i were quite disgusted/amused :) ok. shall go off this train of thought now...
i've got a ruddy headache from reading seven up on the bus... and carrying stupid backpack laden with tooheavybooks. like les miserables. which i figured i better read... it's in english tho.. seeing as how i doubt i can tackle the french version :D sigh. i need to exercise more than i need to read tho! this sucks. clothes are so much easier to wear then. anyhow. saw yingling's photos of the party. ermmm. the only thing i can say is... it sure was more fun taking the photos than it is looking at them....
Thursday, July 24, 2003
yay :) i always feel so happy after dance. but the dance studio is incredibly dirty. disgusting. but still :) we've choereographed like ermm. 1 minute of the tchr's day dance! :P i've accomplished much today :) right. i still have tons of econs to do but still! for once i'm done slacking. that's good right? anyway. we need to meet up so pple can pass me stuff for lam's whatever! ermm.. yl, maybe you can pass the stuff to me thru debbie or someone who takes french on fridays? hmmm. doubt you'll see this in time.. wanna meet on sunday in orchard? i need to do stuff there anyway... :)
aaargh. i'm dying. tired. stuck doing econs on lovely thursday night. sucks or what? will resume later. can't even blog in peace. hrmph.
righto :) am so tired i can't hold thoughts straight in my head. found myself looking for sthg but i forgot what :/ not that that is a particular symptom of tiredness but just aggravated by it. whatever.
syfs are tmr and saturday.. good luck pple! not that i think any of them read this. but still :) ah well. hope rg and rj both get gold! yeah. and hc too :P but i haven't seen any of them cept the rj one during dance night and pple were falling down constantly cos the stage was so slippery... i wanna go watch :/ and i can't. hrmph. oh btw. does anyone know what software to use to mix/cut music? mac or pc is fine :) wanna do sthg funky for our tchr's day music.. but. have great ideas that will probably not translate well into reality :/ hate when that happens.
i'm floating~
the cat is so utterly gorgeous. licked me all over and refused to let me go.. and when i finally did it looked at me mournfully with those big eyes of hers... ah well. it's got a way better life than this little doggy i saw on the way home today.. he was cute and lean :) hate fat dogs. anyway. it was supercurious about everylittlething :P the grass on the sidewalks, the bright red fire hydrant, the trees. but poor thing was on a leash that the horrible guy kept jerking on and practically lifting the poor kid off his feet and away from objects of curiosity. it kept wanting to pee.. lifting up his hindleg and all that but never got to doing it.. poor guy. wonder if he really needed to or just wanted to mark territory...
btw. realised that my classmates don't like cats :( sacrilegious or wot? sigh.
ok. going all woozy now. and i didn't even do that much. cept trying to split when i obviously was too stiff. ended up faking it and crashing painfully :/ sigh. maybe i should be made of more rubber? ah well.
aaargh. i'm dying. tired. stuck doing econs on lovely thursday night. sucks or what? will resume later. can't even blog in peace. hrmph.
righto :) am so tired i can't hold thoughts straight in my head. found myself looking for sthg but i forgot what :/ not that that is a particular symptom of tiredness but just aggravated by it. whatever.
syfs are tmr and saturday.. good luck pple! not that i think any of them read this. but still :) ah well. hope rg and rj both get gold! yeah. and hc too :P but i haven't seen any of them cept the rj one during dance night and pple were falling down constantly cos the stage was so slippery... i wanna go watch :/ and i can't. hrmph. oh btw. does anyone know what software to use to mix/cut music? mac or pc is fine :) wanna do sthg funky for our tchr's day music.. but. have great ideas that will probably not translate well into reality :/ hate when that happens.
i'm floating~
the cat is so utterly gorgeous. licked me all over and refused to let me go.. and when i finally did it looked at me mournfully with those big eyes of hers... ah well. it's got a way better life than this little doggy i saw on the way home today.. he was cute and lean :) hate fat dogs. anyway. it was supercurious about everylittlething :P the grass on the sidewalks, the bright red fire hydrant, the trees. but poor thing was on a leash that the horrible guy kept jerking on and practically lifting the poor kid off his feet and away from objects of curiosity. it kept wanting to pee.. lifting up his hindleg and all that but never got to doing it.. poor guy. wonder if he really needed to or just wanted to mark territory...
btw. realised that my classmates don't like cats :( sacrilegious or wot? sigh.
ok. going all woozy now. and i didn't even do that much. cept trying to split when i obviously was too stiff. ended up faking it and crashing painfully :/ sigh. maybe i should be made of more rubber? ah well.
Tuesday, July 22, 2003
ladida~ realised that the windows ipod *is* compatible with mac! so have downloaded all my songs back on the powerbook and in midst of transferring.. too bad my mom is so enamoured of the ipod. otherwise i could use it more :/ ah well. currently one and a half days of songs on my com and counting. lam beats me hands down!
Monday, July 21, 2003
oooooh :P just received icq msg from weird person... freaky. and then icq told me stome crap about how that person has accepted my request to add to contact list?? like wth? am v freaked out. not the first person... :/ aargh. scary!!
anyway. today doesn't feel like a monday! it's a friday!! :P well. they do say the days are what you make of it :) sigh sigh. today was a neverending day tho! like math tutorial-econs tutorial-math lecture-econs lecture hell. brrrrrr. ah well. finally finished my letter to lam!! :P yay. now i'm going to send it to her soon... anyone wants to add on stuff? just pass them on to me! :) i'm sponsoring postage! anybody? :) hey lam. tell me what times you go online. or whether you even go online in that nice place you now call home!!!
ladida~ my sis just bought a bikini. have resolved to get perfect body and then get a bikini. right. who am i kidding? :P anyway. my mind and my stomach tell me perfectly different things. which has resulted in me eating tons in the past 1 hour i've been home. must have consumed what 2000 calories in one sitting? or more?! list: rice and accompanying stuff, strawberry cake, fried sotong and meat balls (which my dear kind brother who turns 14 today fried for me :) and vanilla coke. feeling bloated and pufferfishy. shall resolve to swim regularly!! :) anyone game to come swimming tmr after school? my place :) all you need to bring is whatever you swim in :) right. am in need of social interaction that is non-charlene. she's killing me :P (kidding! not very much tho... :)
tumteetum teetum... bored bored bored!! actually not bored. more like in state of limbo. sigh. aargh! right. am feeling monosyllabic. grrr. bye!
anyway. today doesn't feel like a monday! it's a friday!! :P well. they do say the days are what you make of it :) sigh sigh. today was a neverending day tho! like math tutorial-econs tutorial-math lecture-econs lecture hell. brrrrrr. ah well. finally finished my letter to lam!! :P yay. now i'm going to send it to her soon... anyone wants to add on stuff? just pass them on to me! :) i'm sponsoring postage! anybody? :) hey lam. tell me what times you go online. or whether you even go online in that nice place you now call home!!!
ladida~ my sis just bought a bikini. have resolved to get perfect body and then get a bikini. right. who am i kidding? :P anyway. my mind and my stomach tell me perfectly different things. which has resulted in me eating tons in the past 1 hour i've been home. must have consumed what 2000 calories in one sitting? or more?! list: rice and accompanying stuff, strawberry cake, fried sotong and meat balls (which my dear kind brother who turns 14 today fried for me :) and vanilla coke. feeling bloated and pufferfishy. shall resolve to swim regularly!! :) anyone game to come swimming tmr after school? my place :) all you need to bring is whatever you swim in :) right. am in need of social interaction that is non-charlene. she's killing me :P (kidding! not very much tho... :)
tumteetum teetum... bored bored bored!! actually not bored. more like in state of limbo. sigh. aargh! right. am feeling monosyllabic. grrr. bye!
Saturday, July 19, 2003
sigh. moping too much made me forget to mention the happy things that happened to me today!! :) saw a cute guy on the way home from piano today :P it's amazing how aesthetically pleasing things can just brighten up one's day :) tho quite sadly, i had just woken up from long boring trip in 66 and probably looked it too :/ dazed look and all... sigh. great thing tho! he appears to live in my general vicinity :P but then again... i've nv seen cute guys appear more than once...
otherhappythings :) went to rda early early early in the morning today.. amidst storm and all that... speaking of which. it's amazing being up early, by myself, just me and the storm outside. staring at the beauty of the lightning-lit sky knowing i'm safe and warm inside :) anyway. tried sidewalking today.. (tho it doesn't really count when you're a third sidewalker) anyway. just walked beside the sidewalker... getting sand everywhere and getting constant whiffs of horse poop. i think i stepped in some... anyway. i want a horse now... some kind soul buy me one!! i'm not fussy about which kind :P oh yeah. later on, trips to toa payoh for rou4 cuo4 mian4 and to novena for piano were accompanied by illusive wafts of sthg that smells suspiciously like horse manure...
oh yeaaahh... looking under my table today. found the present i got from kahli lynette and gang... the weirded-out-pretty-cool-but-makes-me-look-like-sushi-waitress-skirt. tried it on again.. decided it looks pretty cool. *but* had mixed reviews from rest of family... sigh! can we go out sooon? (general invitation to anyone free :) and let's ermm. dress up :) haha.. just so i have an excuse to wear the skirt.
went swimming. forgot how much i love savouring the stretching of my body as i swim :) when everything just fades away momentarily except for breathe in, breathe out anyway. it's just wonderful how buoyant i can be with a lungful of air :) thought through lots of things. didn't sort any out but i feel better anyway now that i have a firmer grasp of things. it's always assuring to be able to compartmentalise and give names to everything whether it's needed or not.
trudging up the stairs home, my shadow tried to run away from me. for a moment there, i thought it might actually succeed in gaining sufficient escape velocity and break away from the seventeen years worth of orbit around my feet. if my shadow were to break off at my feet, i wonder if my feet would hurt?
oh right. saw aud and pam on tv. in horrible orange shirts singing icky i-love-singapore songs.
hmm. searching for nice shoes online. why do guys get the nicer sports shoes range?? i'm pissed. like the air max turbulence 8. it's men's running. sigh. ohoh yeah. i want isight. quite cool :) but. i need someone to go down with me to mac store to look!! (do they have it there yet?) sigh. used to be lam and i would trudge down to wheelock and go borders and mac too :'( ah well. remember them having free food. that we were too paiseh to eat :P ended up with me clutching chopsticks and currypuff with telltale rice particles on the corner of my mouth :P
it's v comfy now. perched on the stool next to the windows, night breeze ruffling up my hair (which incidentally is too dry and annoys me no end) lulling me to sleep. but. homework beckons. french exposition. otherwise my french tchr threatens to ban me from class. like that would be so bad a proposition.
otherhappythings :) went to rda early early early in the morning today.. amidst storm and all that... speaking of which. it's amazing being up early, by myself, just me and the storm outside. staring at the beauty of the lightning-lit sky knowing i'm safe and warm inside :) anyway. tried sidewalking today.. (tho it doesn't really count when you're a third sidewalker) anyway. just walked beside the sidewalker... getting sand everywhere and getting constant whiffs of horse poop. i think i stepped in some... anyway. i want a horse now... some kind soul buy me one!! i'm not fussy about which kind :P oh yeah. later on, trips to toa payoh for rou4 cuo4 mian4 and to novena for piano were accompanied by illusive wafts of sthg that smells suspiciously like horse manure...
oh yeaaahh... looking under my table today. found the present i got from kahli lynette and gang... the weirded-out-pretty-cool-but-makes-me-look-like-sushi-waitress-skirt. tried it on again.. decided it looks pretty cool. *but* had mixed reviews from rest of family... sigh! can we go out sooon? (general invitation to anyone free :) and let's ermm. dress up :) haha.. just so i have an excuse to wear the skirt.
went swimming. forgot how much i love savouring the stretching of my body as i swim :) when everything just fades away momentarily except for breathe in, breathe out anyway. it's just wonderful how buoyant i can be with a lungful of air :) thought through lots of things. didn't sort any out but i feel better anyway now that i have a firmer grasp of things. it's always assuring to be able to compartmentalise and give names to everything whether it's needed or not.
trudging up the stairs home, my shadow tried to run away from me. for a moment there, i thought it might actually succeed in gaining sufficient escape velocity and break away from the seventeen years worth of orbit around my feet. if my shadow were to break off at my feet, i wonder if my feet would hurt?
oh right. saw aud and pam on tv. in horrible orange shirts singing icky i-love-singapore songs.
hmm. searching for nice shoes online. why do guys get the nicer sports shoes range?? i'm pissed. like the air max turbulence 8. it's men's running. sigh. ohoh yeah. i want isight. quite cool :) but. i need someone to go down with me to mac store to look!! (do they have it there yet?) sigh. used to be lam and i would trudge down to wheelock and go borders and mac too :'( ah well. remember them having free food. that we were too paiseh to eat :P ended up with me clutching chopsticks and currypuff with telltale rice particles on the corner of my mouth :P
it's v comfy now. perched on the stool next to the windows, night breeze ruffling up my hair (which incidentally is too dry and annoys me no end) lulling me to sleep. but. homework beckons. french exposition. otherwise my french tchr threatens to ban me from class. like that would be so bad a proposition.
i keep doing everything wrong. all the littly itsy bitsy things that i forgot to put back or to take out or just to do come back to haunt me, often at the most importune of times and usually in a horde. i'm getting scolded for everything left right and centre and i can't even complain cos it really is all my fault and i don't know why and how on earth i'm managing to screw everything up. sedikit sedikit lama lama jadi bukit. sigh. why can't i be a conscientious responsible dutiful little git? then i'll be spared the woeful silently reproachful looks i get so often and the harsh words that face me everytime i get home from anywhere. it's as if getting home is but a precursor to a tide of judgements and accusations. and i totally understand their rationale behind it, but it's not my fault really. i can't help it. i was born with a self-destruct command planted into my subconscious.
Thursday, July 17, 2003
The world's all good again! the spirit of lu4 bu4 shi2 yi2 is alive and well!! ah well. so the story goes like this. was stomach-achey this morning in school (am still like that btw, there's sthg wrong with my tummy :/ ) so after chem prac got ocp and went home. dropped like a stone on the bed and did't wake up until like 4 crawled out of bed groggily and saw this mysterious package on the floor, vaguely thought it was SATs results come finally tho a bit thick. tore it open and voila! my wallet!!! assuringly thick and heavy and with everything inside! :) i woke up properly at that moment and found enclosed a note: we found your wallet at taka and use your money to send it back to you :) euphoria :) and everything was intact too... except for like 2-3 bucks which funded my wallet's ride home :P so indeed now i love the world! ahhhhh :)
Wednesday, July 16, 2003
haha :) am feeling better now. writing letter to lam is certainly cathartic :P how long does it take for us mail? hmmm. ah well :) and 80 bucks worth of sushi was certainly a main healing factor :P that and prawn crackers and goreng pisang. gawds i'm disgusting! and the day before that shared 100g of famous amos cookies with lam plus lemonade and fries and red bean pie. right. somehow this is supposed to make me feel guilty enough to stop doing this!! aaargh somebody stop me! (somehow v reminiscent of the mask-jim carrey)
ladida~ will the stupid bastard who stole my wallet return it? thank you :)
yay :) had afternoon nap for first time in *ages*. ah well. isn't it worse to fall short of your own expectations? people seem to have the warped belief that so long as you do moderately well in comparison to others it's considered ok. but the point is. if you know you could have done so much better if only isn't it more torturous?
i miss lam already. sigh. no one to bitch to when i feel morose. ah well. will miss the squeaky voice she supposedly uses to seduce guys. geee. she should be on her connecting flight now? must be fun :) i love planes and airports. there's always an otherworldly feel about them :) and now the only way we can take photos together is to superimpose them :P like sad or what?? oh yeah :) if fuzz or chris or em or chew or anyone's reading this.. please get the photos d'led frm zhuanghui's phone? cool :) i love camera phones.. even ones who look like remote controls :D
dumdidum. i need exercise. right. it's so ironic that after my declaration of leading socalled healthy lifestyle i've eaten more than i'm accustomed to. have got huge appetite and lack of exercise. totally screwed up combination! like sigh :/ thank goodness i don't put on weight so easily.. just flab. and flab can be strategically covered up! :P haha. the wonders of genes.
i can't find econs lecture 8 online. hmmmm. or whatever... lecture no. dunno what. need it to do independent learning report aka torture. sigh. will go rack my brains :)
ladida~ will the stupid bastard who stole my wallet return it? thank you :)
yay :) had afternoon nap for first time in *ages*. ah well. isn't it worse to fall short of your own expectations? people seem to have the warped belief that so long as you do moderately well in comparison to others it's considered ok. but the point is. if you know you could have done so much better if only isn't it more torturous?
i miss lam already. sigh. no one to bitch to when i feel morose. ah well. will miss the squeaky voice she supposedly uses to seduce guys. geee. she should be on her connecting flight now? must be fun :) i love planes and airports. there's always an otherworldly feel about them :) and now the only way we can take photos together is to superimpose them :P like sad or what?? oh yeah :) if fuzz or chris or em or chew or anyone's reading this.. please get the photos d'led frm zhuanghui's phone? cool :) i love camera phones.. even ones who look like remote controls :D
dumdidum. i need exercise. right. it's so ironic that after my declaration of leading socalled healthy lifestyle i've eaten more than i'm accustomed to. have got huge appetite and lack of exercise. totally screwed up combination! like sigh :/ thank goodness i don't put on weight so easily.. just flab. and flab can be strategically covered up! :P haha. the wonders of genes.
i can't find econs lecture 8 online. hmmmm. or whatever... lecture no. dunno what. need it to do independent learning report aka torture. sigh. will go rack my brains :)
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
i feel utterly miserable. just lost my wallet. probably koped by some freaking bastard who deserves to have his hands chopped off. gods! this year has been disgustingly awful. i'm jinxed :/ and my mom sure lets me know it...
was feeling totally out of it by the time i got home. in taxi, paid for by lam. got in the house and first thing i saw was that blank face of hers that simply meant that she was incredibly pissed off. told me that my dad was angry cos so many things have happened to me this year --- first it was the accident, then recently leaving my phone in bishan. and the culmination of all the small little things that have managed to get them all riled up. and now i'm shit screwed lah. my mom's going to ground me. i'm all depressed and it's not as if this is entirely my fault. screw this shit.
i want things to go back to the way they were. where my mom trusted me. where i had my wallet. where things don't keep happening to me. and weird horrible crap at that. i want it all back. will you give it back to me?
was feeling totally out of it by the time i got home. in taxi, paid for by lam. got in the house and first thing i saw was that blank face of hers that simply meant that she was incredibly pissed off. told me that my dad was angry cos so many things have happened to me this year --- first it was the accident, then recently leaving my phone in bishan. and the culmination of all the small little things that have managed to get them all riled up. and now i'm shit screwed lah. my mom's going to ground me. i'm all depressed and it's not as if this is entirely my fault. screw this shit.
i want things to go back to the way they were. where my mom trusted me. where i had my wallet. where things don't keep happening to me. and weird horrible crap at that. i want it all back. will you give it back to me?
Monday, July 14, 2003
ooooh.. this sucks majorly. lam's out of her house i.e. phone line cut and she refuses to pick up her handphone :( hrmph.
my healthy lifestyle has crashed right round my ears... sigh. can't believe it.. thought it would be vaguely easy to follow.. i mean like.. at least i like healthy food right? wrong... i realised that poor people can't be choosy about food.. and it so happens.. that cheap food (like 2 dollar nuggets) are damn unhealthy :/ oh yeah :) and rotting in lam's house with potluck going on is quite unconducive too... i had tons of chicken wings and vanilla coke and ice cream and beehoon and stuff... aaargh.. i swelled to gargantuan proportions in just one night!! not good.. but then again. a walk in the uluated scary quite possibly haunted clementi woods to get to des' place to get cards and mahjong sure helped shed a couple of those pounds.. plus the incredibly jinxed journey home where i missed all the buses to stretch a half an hour journey into an hour :/ screw it.
it's always a torture falling short of my own expectations. and it seems that i've never learned to lower them to prevent all my disappointment. like that cake. thought baking them from the mix would be literally a piece of cake. wrong!!! sthg went wrong in between the conversion from fahrenheit to celsius and lowering the temperature cos of the oven :/ gosh. horror of horrors :( ah well. at the risk of sounding like i'm just blaming my tools... i want a *normal* conventional oven!!!
i want all the photos pple! just get the nicer ones of the repeats tho.. and i want them quick! :) patience is *not* one of my virtues.. anyhow. didn't pple take them with digi cams? upload!!! :P
oh right. finally had leisure to thumb through the yearbook.. only served to cement our collective opinion that our page *is* the nicest! :P haha... ah well. cheesy poems and baby photos can't beat us :) cos we've got.. ham sup crystal and demented lam and pretty des :P haha.. damn hilarious :) i love our class!!! :) haha.. i hear everyone saying that about their own classes.. but somehow i'm utterly convinced that their class can't possibly be as nice as ours :D heee :P
ah weeeellllll.... what the world needs now is love sweet love no not just for some but for everyone!
my healthy lifestyle has crashed right round my ears... sigh. can't believe it.. thought it would be vaguely easy to follow.. i mean like.. at least i like healthy food right? wrong... i realised that poor people can't be choosy about food.. and it so happens.. that cheap food (like 2 dollar nuggets) are damn unhealthy :/ oh yeah :) and rotting in lam's house with potluck going on is quite unconducive too... i had tons of chicken wings and vanilla coke and ice cream and beehoon and stuff... aaargh.. i swelled to gargantuan proportions in just one night!! not good.. but then again. a walk in the uluated scary quite possibly haunted clementi woods to get to des' place to get cards and mahjong sure helped shed a couple of those pounds.. plus the incredibly jinxed journey home where i missed all the buses to stretch a half an hour journey into an hour :/ screw it.
it's always a torture falling short of my own expectations. and it seems that i've never learned to lower them to prevent all my disappointment. like that cake. thought baking them from the mix would be literally a piece of cake. wrong!!! sthg went wrong in between the conversion from fahrenheit to celsius and lowering the temperature cos of the oven :/ gosh. horror of horrors :( ah well. at the risk of sounding like i'm just blaming my tools... i want a *normal* conventional oven!!!
i want all the photos pple! just get the nicer ones of the repeats tho.. and i want them quick! :) patience is *not* one of my virtues.. anyhow. didn't pple take them with digi cams? upload!!! :P
oh right. finally had leisure to thumb through the yearbook.. only served to cement our collective opinion that our page *is* the nicest! :P haha... ah well. cheesy poems and baby photos can't beat us :) cos we've got.. ham sup crystal and demented lam and pretty des :P haha.. damn hilarious :) i love our class!!! :) haha.. i hear everyone saying that about their own classes.. but somehow i'm utterly convinced that their class can't possibly be as nice as ours :D heee :P
ah weeeellllll.... what the world needs now is love sweet love no not just for some but for everyone!
Sunday, July 13, 2003
Saturday, July 12, 2003
just got home :) oh man.. love mg dance night! so cool. their costumes just made me v v sad that hc is so overconservative.. ruining our variety on costumes... haha :P the sba dancers (rachel chin, elaine and s1 else whom i can't remember) were wearing the most indecent of stuff.. but still. v v cool.. it was a bodysuit made of mesh and there was just a bad across their chest and their black underwear... looked way indecent but since they had not an extra inch of fat anywhere! they looked gorgeous. and then there was the mg alumni who did this dance to some linkin park song i think it was.. and their costume was some bondage thing i think.. cue charcoal drawn tattoos, messy hair, dark eyeliner, and tube and black lipstick. wow. wow WOW!! oh man :P and it was so so fun cos i met dawn again :) and agnes and jac and me are now totally psyched up to do modern dance for tchr's day perf... and yeah!! heee :P am so high so high! haha :) except that means that from now onwards, am striving to maintain healthy diet and lifestyle. pple... don't let me forget that i said this k? knowing me i'll prob leave off this in a couple of days. so. someone remind me periodically!!
1. not eating after 8pm... haha :) there goes my latenight suppers which i have gotten overly fond of
2. swim/run at least thrice a week.. going to be hard man.. considering i'll be getting home like 7-8 everyday of the week...
3. twenty situps a day. before i go to sleep? in the morning? according to lam metabolism highest in morning. ah well. but i am no morning person. guess i'll settle for the next best thing.
4. stretch everynight before i go to sleep.. i better be able to do a split soon lah! this sucks big time man...
yeah man :P so. that's not so much for my small brain to hold isn't it? yay :P have got hope! may even get toned enough for the bikini. therefore! am happy :D i better continue psyching myself :)
1. not eating after 8pm... haha :) there goes my latenight suppers which i have gotten overly fond of
2. swim/run at least thrice a week.. going to be hard man.. considering i'll be getting home like 7-8 everyday of the week...
3. twenty situps a day. before i go to sleep? in the morning? according to lam metabolism highest in morning. ah well. but i am no morning person. guess i'll settle for the next best thing.
4. stretch everynight before i go to sleep.. i better be able to do a split soon lah! this sucks big time man...
yeah man :P so. that's not so much for my small brain to hold isn't it? yay :P have got hope! may even get toned enough for the bikini. therefore! am happy :D i better continue psyching myself :)
Friday, July 11, 2003
don't bother calling me huishan anymore. just call me variegated leaf. i sure do a good job of disguising as one! i don't want to do anything tmr :( wanna just cloister myself at home and catch up on much needed sleep as well as mourn to myself the current coma situation of my phone :/ i can just imagine the poor thing... stuck in the dark. all by itself. as lonely as i am :( gods i've grown so attached to my phone! it's disgusting but i prob won't live v long without my phone. that's like how horrible... i've bred a total dependency on my phone.
v depressed. for no reason really.. and i had a whole pack of hershey's kisses and it didn't work. no endorphins. no high. maybe it's cos it's creamy milk chocolate instead of cookies and cream... sigh sigh :( and now i'm even sadder cos there're the tin foil wrappings littered around the comp announcing my gluttony. plus. to add to my agony. i am itching lah.... yikes. super uncomfortable. plus dead skin littering the place... damn gross.
how to dance tmr? i can't go scritch-scratch in the middle of the dance... can't put makeup cos my skin is super sensitive not to say superbly unevenly coloured. aaargh. maybe i should just wear a veil. and say it's part of the costume or sthg... what do i wanna do. i wanna wake up early tmr b4 listening compre to go swimming! haha :) but i always get these urges to do so at night and in the morning i just don't feel like it anymore. sigh.
sometimes i just want to sit back to back with someone who doesn't feel the need to talk nonstop. and who doesn't make me feel the need to fill the awkward silence between us with inane small talk. just want to stare into space. it's so tiring sometimes to have to keep up the cheerful thing. it saps energy and rarely rewarded by smiles that twinkle in the eyes anyway. speaking of eyes. met this guy in the bus... gorgeous eyes. don't remember his face don't remember him.. just the sparkling bottomless pools. it's so unfair that guys have so pretty eyes.
v depressed. for no reason really.. and i had a whole pack of hershey's kisses and it didn't work. no endorphins. no high. maybe it's cos it's creamy milk chocolate instead of cookies and cream... sigh sigh :( and now i'm even sadder cos there're the tin foil wrappings littered around the comp announcing my gluttony. plus. to add to my agony. i am itching lah.... yikes. super uncomfortable. plus dead skin littering the place... damn gross.
how to dance tmr? i can't go scritch-scratch in the middle of the dance... can't put makeup cos my skin is super sensitive not to say superbly unevenly coloured. aaargh. maybe i should just wear a veil. and say it's part of the costume or sthg... what do i wanna do. i wanna wake up early tmr b4 listening compre to go swimming! haha :) but i always get these urges to do so at night and in the morning i just don't feel like it anymore. sigh.
sometimes i just want to sit back to back with someone who doesn't feel the need to talk nonstop. and who doesn't make me feel the need to fill the awkward silence between us with inane small talk. just want to stare into space. it's so tiring sometimes to have to keep up the cheerful thing. it saps energy and rarely rewarded by smiles that twinkle in the eyes anyway. speaking of eyes. met this guy in the bus... gorgeous eyes. don't remember his face don't remember him.. just the sparkling bottomless pools. it's so unfair that guys have so pretty eyes.
aaaargh!!!! talk about bad days!!!!! not being exclamation happy for nthg. i have justification:
Firstly, but definitely one of the least of my worries right now, my face is peeling so horribly i look like i've got skin disease. secondly, i'm going to get 5/20 for french. but that's an optimistic estimate and hell. i deserve it. thirdly and most horribly!!! i left my handphone in the bloody computer lab after the test! like crap. aaargh. shit. fuck. what else. so now my phone is sitting desolately under my table. crying for me :( and i can't even get to it cos the place is like locked. so hopefully, no one kopes it and i'll get it back. hope dremaux finds it!!! aaaargh. otherwise..... sigh. i think i'll just go jump off somewhere sometime.
Firstly, but definitely one of the least of my worries right now, my face is peeling so horribly i look like i've got skin disease. secondly, i'm going to get 5/20 for french. but that's an optimistic estimate and hell. i deserve it. thirdly and most horribly!!! i left my handphone in the bloody computer lab after the test! like crap. aaargh. shit. fuck. what else. so now my phone is sitting desolately under my table. crying for me :( and i can't even get to it cos the place is like locked. so hopefully, no one kopes it and i'll get it back. hope dremaux finds it!!! aaaargh. otherwise..... sigh. i think i'll just go jump off somewhere sometime.
Thursday, July 10, 2003
ah well. so collegeboard finally repaired their screwed up sign in shit. this is probably going to piss some pple off but still. 700 for math is totally crappy :/ right. so much for hoping for a miracle that the stupid logic bits were not going to be counted... :( anyway. in case anyone's interested. got 1460. :( whatever.
btw. i no longer hurt *too* badly.. it's turning to itch... dry flaky skin all over :/ anyway. i love dancing!!! :) it makes me happy :P haha :) esp when i'm dancing properly. otherwise. it's just crap lah. anyway. what's with the prejudice against girls saying fuck? like hello? ah well. i guess it ruins some sort of mental image somewhere. :/
i am v sian. got math back. did ok. but thought i was going to do better. considering that it was my best paper... sigh. what am i going to do about the rest? failing physics is not going to be a pretty sight. and anyhow. chinese orals were bad too... for all that everyone (outside of hc that is :) has been telling me that my chinese is ok i realised that i seriously can't talk off the cuff in chinese unless we're talking abt food or sthg
why's everyone so preoccupied with exams and shit? it's as if it's the only motivating force in our lives :/ and that sucks big time.
anyway. lam's used-to-be-surprise-party is now an open secret. due to lam's stupid meddling and forcing us to give her a party when we were already planning a surprise one! like wth. *grrrr* just turn up with food-that's-not-junk sometime on sunday at lam's place yeah? see ya :)
btw. i no longer hurt *too* badly.. it's turning to itch... dry flaky skin all over :/ anyway. i love dancing!!! :) it makes me happy :P haha :) esp when i'm dancing properly. otherwise. it's just crap lah. anyway. what's with the prejudice against girls saying fuck? like hello? ah well. i guess it ruins some sort of mental image somewhere. :/
i am v sian. got math back. did ok. but thought i was going to do better. considering that it was my best paper... sigh. what am i going to do about the rest? failing physics is not going to be a pretty sight. and anyhow. chinese orals were bad too... for all that everyone (outside of hc that is :) has been telling me that my chinese is ok i realised that i seriously can't talk off the cuff in chinese unless we're talking abt food or sthg
why's everyone so preoccupied with exams and shit? it's as if it's the only motivating force in our lives :/ and that sucks big time.
anyway. lam's used-to-be-surprise-party is now an open secret. due to lam's stupid meddling and forcing us to give her a party when we were already planning a surprise one! like wth. *grrrr* just turn up with food-that's-not-junk sometime on sunday at lam's place yeah? see ya :)