Two rainbows side by side. The other so faint it is barely discernible but you know it's there and it's all that really matters. It wasn't me who saw it but it feels as if i was almost there. After the crazy storm which caused 7 blackouts and which i really cannot imagine. I like days like that :) Even through a champagne induced miasma. But the days ahead, well.

They are just the result of a chemical imbalance and are entirely not my fault except for the bit where I let them be freely expressed and then only because we know that repression isn't good for the soul and being the person that I am of course I don't want to injure my already battered soul in any other way. I'm so sorry for always hitting the self-destruct button like that and causing all that collateral damage that I swear I don't mean. I can't help it. Except that that's the lamest excuse ever.

A red moon without any forewarning would probably have seemed like blood and darkness was washing across the sky, ever so slowly. It's so difficult to need to rev up and do work when all i want to do is lie in bed and sulk. And the thing is talking to people doesn't even really help because all i do is snap at them, and besides, I have yet to learn that annoyance during mood swings does not equal actual dislike.

Well. I don't mean harm, but the things i can't be bothered to do seem to bother people. it's just me and me not giving a hoot about what i ought or ought not do which could be good, or bad. As of now, bad.

I want to be a bright and happy person who doesn't care about how annoying some people are and how i'm getting white hairs from stressing about the most inane things possible. But that wouldn't be me cos that would probably be a normal person! how fun.

Can't wait for the end of school! wheeeee :)
just need to jump over this hurdle of a crappy essay that i don't want to fail.

It's the second last week till school ends, and i've finally got internet up at my place!

The socially inept are out on the streets again trying to make themselves believe that they are loved and liked, that they're not just forgettable bits and pieces of everyone else's lives. But, what is never tested never fails, so they might as well stay at home and play pretend, which is much more comforting and secure.

You'd think that twenty years would be enough for the brain to learn how to properly regulate hormonal levels and preempt all these crappy ditches of hormonally-induced depression. Because these episodes aren't even attention worthy and are just excuses to whine and generally feel shitty. Which sucks.

Anyhow. Twenty years with nothing worthwhile achieved can make one generally feel useless i suppose. Nothing to fret about.

My unjust soul is railing out at my bursting brain. which is imploding with all the information that i've attempted to stuff in and it just keeps slipping out. Apparently, the brain never forgets, so what's happening is that i'm saving all this information in repeat files, happily categorised and decorated, and then misplacing it. Come tomorrow, when faced with the worst that J.Coleman and Flikschuh are capable of, I would be regurgitating... nothing. I need some way of dealing with this. Crisis!

Colourless is such a horrible word :(

I know that no one ever said it was easy, and now is probably not a good time to (continue to) be superficial and care about how i'm gaining weight sitting in my chair and reading and stuff, but this whole business of trying to get my stomach back to its original size is damn difficult! It takes so much discipline to not notice the lone godiva truffle begging to be eaten, the half-a-bar of butterscotch chocolate, and the rest of the food which is less indulgent but food nonetheless. so i tell myself. if i can get past tonight, it'll be all cool again :) but meanwhile. the saliva keeps welling up! damn it.

There's never time like the present (i.e. when i should be doing other things) to hang out after classes and go and catch a cup of (really REALLY yummy) hot chocolate or dinner. mmmmmm. Russian orals on tuesday are definitely not beckoning. I have at least 5 pages of russian stuff to memorise and half the words are really tough on my tongue :/ bah.

Only in Japan can someone throw out 5 million yen in the trash and get it back again a month later! How amazing :)

if there's a single pose i hate the most it's the one where the models stand with their arms akimbo and back hunched, looking like they're about to barf all over the cameraman. Strong pose indeed.

As usual, it's because i have to study that i find time to do things like update my blog. i was just thinking about the time difference between singapore and london (it's 7 hours now because of summer time) and i realise that i always take 10pm as a cut off point. 10 pm is when news starts (sorry i watch a lot of chinese tv serials :P) and then 10 pm is also when the ch 5 shows get properly started. so somehow i feel very unfulfilled when there's nothing to watch on ch 5, because then i have nothing to do except watch the chinese news, where i can't understand the names of the politicians or the football teams and players. and now even without the tv i guess the 10 pm thing has stuck, where before 10 is really early. and after 10 is late enough for me to go to sleep slightly less guiltily.

it rocked it rocked it rocked :D:D:D
i'm still insanely happy despite it being 2 am in the morning and like 4 hours after the end of the play. What an incredible high :)

It's tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow :)

Sometimes it hits me like a brick wall that I'm not doing what I am most happy doing. It's when I talk to people who are that I really feel like digging a hole, jumping in, and pulling all the soil back in after me. I want to dance! and the thing is I'm not even very good at it so I can't do it properly full time but gods i really want to dance :( How stupid is this! ughhh.

It's just such a strange yet happy experience :) I pray that I won't freeze, curl up and die though. Which I have a mortal fear of. ugh. Anyway. If anyone's looking for an excuse to come to London, choose March 17th, 18th! heeee. Ask me for more details though. because i don't want to be found out by random Googlers. heh.

It's so amusing.
I keep hearing exclamations like "What???" and "Oh my god! How can..." and "Ewwwww" coming from the room next to mine :p It's her on her Alias marathon haha.

Go! Fight! Win! My ass.