very indignant. grrrr. i want a thousand million pins to stick into her voodoo doll. bleargh. i hate being so unappreciated.

oh lam. this is very freaky. remember the time you climbed into your house through the window? like freak. how many storeys was that? there was this woman who tried to do that like recently (yesterday in fact) and fell to her death.

sensitivity is a curse really. if an apparatus is highly sensitive, it tends to have a tradeoff with its working range. you see things in minutiae, sure, but the minutiae is all you can see. there is no larger picture, and sometimes it's like those occasional contests they have in magazines where they show a photo in high magnification and you have to guess what the object is, and all there is to go by, is perhaps a tiny distinguishing feature that seems somewhat distorted by how much larger it is than you're used to.

sometimes there's the sinking feeling in your tummy. that means you're either ill or you're about to be violently ill. or sometimes it means you're about to cry, really. so it depends.
look at what's happened before the sinking-feeling incident --- did you eat something raw/nearly decomposed/weird? did you just see something that is out of your comfort zone? or do you just feel depressed because you looked into someone's eyes and for some unfathomable reason, you sensed contempt/disdain/dislike/irritation?
find out the cause, and apply a suitable remedy. sometimes, a hiatus from everything is a good solution. like a trip to thailand for retail therapy. that is highly recommended. unless of course, you have 2 years work to memorise in 8 weeks. in that case, find a large tank. throw said two years work into tank. stock with sufficient food, water and vitamins and jump in. charge for admission. at least if all else fails, that's money in the pocket.

i'm just down from an adrenaline peak. the bad type that surges into your blood when you have a crisis to deal with. not the tingly anticipatory type at the start of a game.

the lizard leaped into my open bag despite all my prayers otherwise. little lizards are scary because they can get everywhere. anyway. having mustered up the courage to confront Lizard of the Bag, i chucked everything out of my bag in vain. LotB was nowhere to be seen/found/heard.

so despite lingering concerns that LotB is still stuck between my books, i can only trust to its sense of judgement that it had taken its opportunity and fled the black cavern that was my bag while i was cowering in a corner. i hope. please run away.

i remember similar encounters with Mr Stick Insect in the Toilet who died of starvation.

gosh i'm pooped. and only partially from having watched meteor garden 2 (oops :) till 2 cos i couldn't sleep. hmm. realised i watched it with my eyes closed and still understood what was going on. strange wot? :P

yay. one good thing about a stupid packed exam schedule: it goes by all the quicker :) please promise me we (anyone. really. i'm desperate :P ) will go out to shop/slack/talk after friday!! only thing keeping me moving.

time check: 2 45 am
what's on tv: england vs croatia
personal status: DAMN hungry.

haha i just can't sleep. and there isn't anything on tv other than days of our lives and a weird channel 8 tv serial rerun and that's just weird. sigh. you'd think they'll have better shows at 2 in the morning so they'd corner the demographic at that time :)

i don't understand why croatia wears checkers. but apparently they're really lucky checkers cos they just scored one scrambly goal against england in like 6 minutes! wow. but... eeeee. not that i want to complain. but they all don't look as hot as the spanish. but then again. the spanish are out. soo.... haha maybe it's inversely related. :)

hungrier and hungrier.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through

i love beach boys!
1. because of the jap serial with the same name :) cos the view was v nice :)
2. because they have lyrics like this and it's just so sweet
3. because they're so happy!
4. because beach boys is such a poppish happy group name :)

wheee~ i'll go pay more attention to the match. it's been eons since i've watched one properly.

back. it isn't so funky so far.
this is more brilliant :)



and nope. it isn't magic trick :) it's a proper lift!

scholes!!

oh my god. this is seriously heavenly :)
go see this. they've made this beemer-ipod compatibility thing. and like whoa. v smart marketing :) and now i want a beemer more than ever!

haha.. of the weirdest songs ever to hear on national radio: (and it was really catchy too. with endless refrains.) when i think of you i touch myself.

trauma.

right. and continuing on the weird train --> more referrals! :) only the weirdest ones here:
1. "sneaky handphone camera photos": where got! it makes me sound like some voyeur :/
2. "+canoe +cute mj": hehe. sounds fun. who's mj?
3."free scratched ipod": yeah right. it's scratched (-frown-) but it's so not free!
4. "man photo sex from girls": aaaargh!! pervert!
5."eye teeth" sinus: i worry.
6. wooden lamb "live size": whoever would want a live size wooden lamb?!

worrisome.

anyway. this is absolutely amazing. like really. when i have time i'll gush further.
 

so it seems there are perks to having a kid brother too :)

1. i love shopping for guys. must be all the suppressed male hormones clashing terribly with my female hormones. ergo, love guys' department even if all the pants look exactly the same.
2. someone else to temper my weirdest fashion sense by making the most -ahem- blunt remarks
3. another person to bug abt whether i look bad wearing whatever.
4. is it not interesting to watch two guys goofing ard with their guitars singing dui mian de nu hai kan guo lai?
5. who's got kid brothers who looked like blimps at various stages in their lives? (me! me!)
6. he makes me feel sufficiently stupid when i need it
7. and of course. to finish the food :) and cook for me too.

wahahaha. i love my brother :) (till we next fight)

and haha i've got the prettiest skirt :) but.. it's another wraparound. right :P i need jade green top.

the pas de deux was not all that briliant. but after a night of disjointed dance that took itself a mite too seriously, this was just contented to be wistful and pretty. well. it helped that it was to queen's love of my life which is just about the most heart-tugging song i know.

sats two were... neutral. another one of those papers from which i come out just a little dazed, with no idea how well i did. weird. it just irks me that i'm not supposed to tikam all my answers to mcq which is what i'm good at doing because they actually deduct marks for it. hrmph.

go look at kahli/weilin's new watches! they're gorgeous :) whatever he says :P

hm. the blogger interface doesn't seem to rock much with safari... weird.

jurong east library opening!! :) finally. and it sounds pretty cool too. i love je lib :) haha. tho i must say. i liked it very much in its old state. but can't wait to see what they've done to it.. just not like some orchard library thing. hrmph. like i was telling s1 i don't remember who orchard library isn't a library library. it's just a... library. i guess :)

bleargh. trekked through bugis and much of orchard in search of an elusive assymmetrical short skirt which we found in far east but was free size and freaking tight for me. like hello?? free size means one size fits all yeah? i.e. can fit normal people also lah! what kind of shit is that :/ discrimination against normal sizes?? bleargh.

sighs. i want a nice dress! :) whee. haha. but i'm not a dress girl...
like... don't look right in a dress :/ how. oh yeah. damn pissed! mphosis sale. 70% off sandals i adore. size 4 and 5. aaargh. like hello?? who wears 4 and 5 lah! like i want size7 thankyouverymuch.

oh. the lotr exhibit was way cool. there was the replica of boromir in the boat and we were staring so hard at it waiting for hiim to wake up and say BOO! :) and the metal work and the pieces by alan lee and co were just amazing :) somehow seeing the pictures onscreen (online and dvd) just aren't as cool as seeing each detail drawn on paper. they were intricately detailed and utterly gorgeous. and anduril and sting and all that :) and the 'real' evenstar. haha we just wanted to bring everything home :) plus they had live size (ok. maybe scaled down versions) of the witch king and the various ogre/troll thingies (i'm ashamed to admit i can't remember right now what they're called. but i'm excused right? am stoned from 5-6 hours of walking ard for that darn skirt. i mean. i had crampy feet :/ ) anyway. i wanted this coin bank thingie --- it's way cool :P it's this model of a dark rider in his cloak and all and then there's this slit on his back. then when you put a coin in it'd go: muahahahaha :) wheee. but... 30 bucks! like.. extortion. plus they mass produce the ONE ring until it's like worthless liao. so contradictory... i mean. all we had to do was toss Sauron a couple of the millions of mass produced rings and he would have been so confused and left frodo alone yeah? :P

anyway. congrats crys on *dubious look* maggie. (lydia! has crys told you about maggie the ibook yet? the first thing i thought about was.. maggie maggot.)

love ya all. i need mugging for sats 2 liao. hrmph.

damn i can be so evil. and i hate how i can't blog about stuff anymore because no matter how cryptic i get people will still understand what i'm going to say and that's just not right.

anyway. i keep sleeping and sleeping and it sucks cos it's not like i really need the sleep and i'm just flushing my life down the drain. well. not like that's any different from what i -am- doing already but still. things are flying past me so quickly i don't even notice. i suck at juggling my time and my responsibilities (whatever/whoever i owe them to anyway) and bleargh. it's sometimes just so painful and i just wanna scream at somebody. damn i'm unstable. and the only thing 'unstable' reminds me of is econs and exchange rate. bleargh.

now i actually go home -when- the sun sets and not long after the sun has gone to bed :) it must be so weird. as i walk home, i take off my irritating specs and just stare into the dimly lit sky. and the clouds are illuminated from the back by the lingering rays of the setting sun and they look like so many wayang kulit animals marching across the sky. and it's just so uplifting after a long day! (assuming they do portray animals in wayang kulit. but even if they do i'm sure they don't have bookwormy snakes and stompy elephants and happy cows marching across the screen :)

stresssssssssssss.

happppyyyyyy :)

so conflicting it's stressful.

wheeee~ happy birthday to me :) thanks yall who remembered :P (and kahli and des: aiyoh. it's today la. not yesterday.)

dawn of the dead is... a guilty pleasure :P just psyched myself out to be freaked. and freaked i was :) it was such a B-grade slasher/biter thing. like.. scream scream scream then laugh at the bad dialogue. plus i realise i think too much to watch these kind of shows. the good guy walks towards the door where there're weird sounds. and OBVIOUSLY there're zombies behind it. and what does he do? he swops a freaking steel crowbar for a lacrosse stick. like wth? does he -not- realise crowbar=stronger? and it wasn't as if you had to impale them with a wooden stake what. but anyway. it was nice and freaky.

and yay :) i like my bday presents. haha. got a swarovski pufferfish. like waste of money. but ohsocute! :) and flower by kenzo which is just such a gorgeous bottle. and a leggy lamb. and gorgeous other stuffs. damn. it would have been perfect if we had been able to meet up you people! hrmph. ah well. shall be resigned.

wheeeeeeeeee~ happy day. if only i had managed to do some work tho. that would have been perfectly perfect.

i retract that.

it's so easy to just shut down. to just stop telling anyone anything that matters. after all, it takes so much trouble. and the chances of being understood are minuscule anyway. like anything really matters anymore though. if you think about it in -just- a certain way, you can always discount the importance of just about everything. in the long run blah blah blah.

i'm sorry if i'm being antisocial these days. but i need to think :) i need some order back in my life. too much of not doing anything constructive and not being able to do what i want has eaten away at me for too long and it's time for some restructuring!

damn.

go away prudes.

if people wanna comment, please do it in the open. don't sneak around and do it cryptically (esp if it's in a blog which happens to be public, and they're not very cryptic) oh yeah. actually. i'm not sure if it's about me :) but it never hurts to cover all bases. so yeah! fuck off bitch!

now that's out of my system :) seriously. if you ever wanna bitch about me? do it to my face. it can't be any more pissifying than if i find out through someone else because then you're just plain cowardly. like whatever. so if worse comes to worst we can just agree to disagree and leave it at that.

bleargh. was reading email archives the other day. seems that i used to be chirpy and enthusiastic about so many things... but now i only do that with certain people. and with others, i'm just like.. whatever. i'll do it if i can motivate my bum to move. plus. i seem to have lost all my inhibitions to being bitchy. so i'm just openly evil now.

to some people: i sure do hope you know who you are. i don't mean -all- that i say. just take it with a pinch of salt.
to other people: yeah i really mean it.

anyway. so i hear they printed vesak day wrongly.. if that's true, it's supposed to be on may 3rd instead? so like.. long lovely weekend :)

it seriously feels like a thousand, no a million fire ants are jostling for space all over my body :/ so i find out (rather belatedly) that i'm allergic to alcohol. like wth. so now i'm covered in rashes. and dying.

aaaaaaaaaaargh. i'm so slack :/ there were presidential elections for council today.. sigh. democracy is such a farce. and then there were like all of 5 lessons after that and i promptly slept through all of them.. but i tried staying awake :( i think there's sthg wrong with me... energy level= zilch.

*scritch scratch*

dying.

for once in my life i see a fanclub in action. everytime he touched the ball they let out gasps of excitement and swooned in delight. everytime he did anything remotely spectacular they cheered and screamed his name :P ok. maybe i exaggerate. but they really did provide entertainment at the polo match. wheee you go ***** :P (p.s. to certain people: you sure do have stiff competition from many quarters)

tumtumm. i came home and slept 5 hours. just crashed. and supposedly when my dad tried to wake me up all i did was move from sleeping face down to a more comfy position. heh. wheee. now i'm hyper. welcome to the ***** club! :)

8078

i pity my econs s teacher. i truly do. but in an entirely non-academic related kind of way. the thing is he's always so alone. after classes, during normal school time, he's always by himself and just doesn't seem to be any close to any of the staff. it's all jy's fault. if he hadn't pointed it out, i wouldn't have felt quite so bad for leaving him behind in the classroom, packing up the laptop all by his lonesome self. the thing is, he tries really hard. and he isn't all that bad. seriously. and after classes he'd ask to talk to some people to get feedback on whether we like his style of teaching and all that. and the thing is, us being us, we think all this feedback is just another duty we have to undertake (even if it's really not anything all that hard to do). point is, i would be so much nicer to him, except that he would then be overly attentive to what i do. like remember my name (maybe :) and asking me to answer questions in class (which is fine, except when he calls on me excessively). bah. it's hard to be nice. i hate the attention. but maybe it'd actually make him feel like his teaching is worthwhile. aaargh. damn. why can't he just be a more likeable person and aaargh.

i'm feeling so lost. i'm not catching up with work. i'm feeling shitty. nothing seems to be happening my way. things are unnecessarily complicated. i seriously don't know what is going on. and point is, i have this nagging feeling that i have no right to be complaining. bah. everyone seems to be having so much more shit in their lives. i should be happier about how much more lucky i am and yet it still doesn't feel any less real. what am i going to do.

oh. talking to people on yl's bday was great. it just seemed so incredible that we're now leading such different lives and yet when we get together to gossip things are just fine and dandy. we're still the same people and we still laugh crazily and cheat people of money :) i miss the old days. now is fun. but then was so much less complicated.

ooooh. first time in days i can sleep early. and what am i doing? wasting my time online :/

anyway. happy birthday yingling! :)