two weeks. sigh. i hate how my life is centred ard studying.

happy is good. have been happy :) generally at least... even tho i stress out at not being able to finish my work and not having enough time for people :/ or myself.

sigh. haha am super evil. reading ******'s blog now. hmmm. shouldn't say anything to revealing here... but still can't believe his views on 'relationships' :P entertaining stuff.. this... :)

i haven't had someone as worthy a candidate as ****** to bitch about for the longest time. it's immense guilty fun :D (not v guilty. just a lot of fun :)

i hate group outings :/ can't eat in peace/fun, can't do anything properly after and it just riles me. then i get foul and evil and just generally pissed off/piss off everyone else. plus. my mood is so easily influenced by those ard me so it just gets worse :/ aaargh. i felt seriously evil and i couldn't do anything abt it. so: sorry ade, xw, tat and lide. yeps. thanks for being so nice to me :)

forlorn.
sometimes it hurts to see things fall apart so suddenly.

hilarious.

my blog apparently comes up when you search: "no energy" sleep, skinny  

hahaa... how come orangeshirt know my url :P

sighs. slept the whole day away :( and didn't run like i was supposed to. am appalled by own inability to exercise :/ spent the whole of yesterday shopping for ade's present! v v sian... walking all ard and -not- finding anything isn't my idea of fun... but. at least she appreciated it :)

is veryscary how person knows which kindergarten i'm from. not possible! sigh. tell me how!

there was this cute little bright yellow poncho-ed kid on the bus talking to his mom.
mom: yes it's raining very heavily, it's raining cats and dogs.
kid (excitedly): cats and dogs! where?

sigh. i feel like i ought to be doing more but i can't get myself up to doing it :( it's horrible that is.

aaaargh. i refuse to go for anymore econs s lessons :( the teacher is horrifyingly scary. he -keeps- picking on me cos he thinks i'm smart/the only one who responds to him. :'( the thing is. so he talks -really- slowly. and then when he asks questions, there's just COMPLETE silence in the class. so i figger, yeah ok. since i'm sitting in the front i might as well answer, esp since the qns are so easy anyway. after which, he would -always- consult "the girl over here" for her opinion. and when he talked he would look over at me to nod at me even if i tried v v hard to avoid eye contact. damn. aaargh. painful. talk abt unwanted attention :(

thank you

you know who you are. you made my day :)

yes. i'm feeling v happy now. rather accomplished. very loved. <-- don't read too deeply into that. it's such a bummer when things sound ambiguous when i mean it only in one very superficial manner.

excessive boredom is bad for the brain. it's no wonder my brain is rotting as fast as it is, considering how often i find myself bored and stoned. i have work to do, yes, but i just can't get myself to go face it and do it... sigh. i need company to keep me from being so bored. but wait. that doesn't work. i get incredibly bored in a group too. there's sthg wrong with me i think... i can't seem to convince myself that yes, things are happening in my life. i'm not bored. how?

sigh.. i'm bored. it's the first day of cny (btw. HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR dudes :) and i have nthg to do :/ we already went to my grandma's place in jb and ate and ate and ate. but now i have zero remnant relatives that we're going to visit. ah well. so now i'm sadly online with nobody to talk to :/ and anyway. i realise i'm really quite antisocial. and cannot be bothered. ah well.

anyway. cny celebrations were boring as usual... but i saw loads of pple ard so that kept me entertained :) and took really stupid photos with the touch people :D haha. i wanna see those! hmmm. there was this -one- wushu guy who was really impressive. and -one- wushu girl. then err... nthg else much to talk abt. the jnr class is seriously amazin :P vv enthu. and they actually really have artistic talent... haha. not to say that cherry doesn't/didn't. but they are waaay more impressive :D plus not to say our class (or at least me) was also more bochup than most of our jnrs this year :P anyway. their smoothies were not quite palatable... but at least i think their smoothies were quite a bit better than our choc marshmallow thingies. :P

sighhhh. i really have nthg to say but i really have nthg else to do either :/ lam... when're you free to come online? i'm bored not talking to you :( haha.. and yl and anna must come online too. then we can have another of those crazy chats where no one knows what who's talking abt. yay :D fun.

oh yeah. read the bitchy blog that michelle was linking to... hmmm. yeah. weirded out sense of humour. which actually backs up this halfbaked theory of mine which i'm not at liberty to discuss here (started from auditions) yups.

haha.. crosscountry dance is going to be so... weird. prob will end up forgetting steps/not being able to catch the beat. but it would be no problem cos everyone would (hopefully) be just looking at mr orange shirt :D

hmmm. shall go exercise off the keropok and fried prawns now. i hope :D

haha.. sometimes it's just so interesting talking cos some people have -such- a flair for the dramatic.

yes it sucks babe! i want my letter :( been waiting for it all week. and do i get it? nooooooooo.

yay! last lesson. have salary now. and no more lessons to talk about :)

i learn more about myself everyday. i am 1. incredibly short tempered 2. prone to moodswings like nobody's business 3. previous two points come hand in hand with no patience 4. no ability to convince people howsoever 5. lousy at selfentertainment 6. too self occupied to think about other people.

i used to think i was a much nicer person. i guessed i've wisened up :) yeps! bitch coming through :) make way!

so then right, i think that maybe it's everyone's pet peeves that make them like character-wise? but then again, perhaps i have more -peeves- more than -pet peeves- seeing how i tend to get upset over little things like? i get hugely irritated at the littlest things. i think i got that from associating too much with aman :P and the ilk.. haha. like how the gang of us have really strange peeves. funny :)

it's so sweet when there's instant chemistry (or so they say). seeing people delight in each other's company.

anyway. so i decide right? i really dunno how to shoot pool. and like i need practice. cept i have no time and money. so then it's too bad that i can't shoot :P it's like how i wanna learn how to shoot archery but i can't either. sighh. life's full of disappointments. and then i realise that if i really -really- wanted to learn, i could actually make time for it. in between everything. such a failure.

i really am pretty antisocial. perhaps i should do sthg about how i don't bother talking to new people abt inane things, and how i resent spending all that extra effort trying to keep a conversation going if the other person can't even be bothered. heck. if you're not going to talk as well i might as well give up. sigh. see what i mean about antisocial.

yep. poison would be -real- goood.

yay :D my brother is finally back from china.. i'm so protective of my brother! it's terrible how his school was so lousy in dealing with stuff. like how he got food poisoning and get this: had to be put on a drip. poor dude! how scary is that. plus his teachers nv like took charge of the situation to reassure parents and stuff. anyway. he's skinny like anything now, considering how he was already skinnier than me even before he went. but at least then he was putting on weight.

i'm feeling really weird now. like how i'm sort of focusing on the screen while my body is taking time off and floating around. not a good sign.

it really is a nice feeling. v cosy.

ohh. now i understand. ah well :)
to continue in the vein of being narcissistic and materialistic...

Buy me diamonds and rubies
I'm crazy bout Bentley's
Gucci dresses and
dropped top Kompressors
Wine me and dine me
Bring those platinum rings
Those are a few of our favourite things

anyhow. what are dropped top kompressors? erm. mercs? whatever :) i should be doing work (again) esp having heard of jireh's crazy willpower -and- his intention to chiong this year. haha. weird stuff coming out of his mouth. but ah well. stupid tathua. koped my gp so what am i supposed to do! hrmph.

happy together is really sweet :D esp with jennifer aniston being so hot in it. but erm. yeah. the advert that our jnr class spoofed so did not do her justice :P (let's just pray they nv read this. but if they do.. i don't mean this maliciously!:)

I can't see me loving nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me
Baby the skies will be blue
For all my life
Me and you
And you and me
No matter how they tossed the dice
It had to be
The only one for me is you
And you for me
So happy together

We should talk more.

Have you heard of the new ipod?

happy day :) we end at 1.20 on thursdays!! :D and we have time for movies -and- shopping. this rocks :) jeux d'enfants is typical quirky french film i suppose... and as usual. i could barely catch the dialogue. but it just sounds really good :) even if the language is crazily foul and stuff. heh.

am supposed to be doing hydroxy tutorial now.. but heh. lam is supposed to be online now! but anyway. bet she couldn't wake up on time.. :D my juniors seem pretty ok after the first disastrous day... so maybe we'll have a fun junior class after all :D anyway. their cheer seems pretty kinky. sthg like.. i love you 69 i need you 69... along those lines anyway.

damn. now i have to write my reflection for the summer school too. aaargh. dead. and tired too! grrrrrr.

the more i watch lotr, the more i'm convinced that yl and anna are just like merry and pippin :D v cute.

aaargh. i came home early, convinced myself that i'm too unfit, watched fotr and have yet to start mugging :( i can't get into my own blog so i can't read my tags... sigh. and now i need to mug physics. sigh. at least i have laksa to comfort myself.

the sky is cloudless today. saw orion's belt in the sky and it's in the wrong place :) it seems to have shifted off the horizon into a little nook just above me when i crane my head out of the window.

i dislike how the little things that other people do have such an effect. the perceived glance of disdain, the elusive smirk and the stare. sigh. and the thing is. none of this is probably even real.

it pains me how words seem to dribble so slowly out of my hands. they're little crippled, maimed worker ants when they're with me. i wish they would get prosthetic limbs.

i'm hell bored. i slept thru the -entire- day and now i'm grumpy and groggy. hrmph. sigh. there really isn't much happening recently. except a spate of parties/dinners that i probably can't turn up for anyway.

list of things to do in the last four days of the holidays:
1. clean up the -really- disgusting messes that are my wardrobe, my cupboard and my room.
2. plough through the chem revision worksheet that i only recently unearthed
3. ditto for gp
4. watch rotk again
5. read -sthg-. anything.
6. watch school of rock :)
7. do some exercise
conclusion: no time, no energy, no motivation = lingering list of undone things

sigh. am super disgusted with my current state of gluttony :/ constant eating and no exercise is well nigh terrible. not good. this means that if i get freaked out by sthg/s1 (highly possible esp nowadays) i can't escape cos i can't run fast/far enough :( v disturbing thought, that.

i know i can never sleep after i drink coffee.. and yet i insist on drinking it. damn. so now i'm stuck awake at 01 09am with no one to chat to anymore. army is scary. no thanks to weirded out stories by quekquek :/

i need to sleep... not least cos i intend to wake up at 8 tmr to go swim in icy waters as well as speak coherently from 10-12 and after which go shopping.. aaargh. ah well :) i've survived on less sleep i suppose. it's just really boring now cos there's nthg to do online.

s1 talk to me now :/