omg.... ichat av rocks so much!!! everyone go get it!! :) then we can -talk-.

opened the newspapers today and saw: Trilogy Marathon Open For Booking!!! who wants to go who wants to go? hehe. need s1 to book tickets. it's on dec17 but i dunno other details :) haven't been so pumped up in ages :) have been languishing in boredom and sianness the past few days. hurry hurry hurry. am paranoid the tickets will sell out! worst nightmare of the year.

hehe. finally went for the body-whatever exhibition. it's... scientifically v cool. kinda like when we went to NUH to see the preserved parts. it was really similar except for the people who were sort of dissected and hmmmm. felt a little like a morbid art exhibition. but what was fascinating were the jars of embryos from 1 or 2 weeks to 8 weeks... and the 8 week one was at most 2cm long and yet it had the most perfectly formed fingers and toes. but i suppose i couldn't get rid of the niggling fact that for that embryo to have been in the jar it had to have died a long time ago. ah well. it would have made more sense if i were a bio student tho...

gosh i want panther now now now now now! totally rocking. i'm going to borrow it off you k shauna? hehe. yay... it's 11.36 in the morning. it's 22.36 over in pa. waiting :)

i think i'm practically the only person who's truly slacking ard this holidays... everyone has training. or sthg else occupying their time... and so far? hmmm. i've been mugging french/chinese. and after that i've been.. shopping reading slacking growing layers ard meself... i don't think i'll feel the cold in melbourne what with the extra insulation i've grown :)
finally got the skirt i've been wanting to get since forever. cept when i tried it on i realised... sigh. truth is so cruel. but i persuaded myself i'll get back in shape again (yeah right) and so i got it anyway. heh.

i don't like organising class outings! i get so pissed off i decide against going. ah well :) what a failure of a welfare rep i am... tumteetum. the attempt to go to the expo is officially declared -failed-. it isn't much of an outing where only 4 pple can go (including me) and 3 of them are rushing down from training. riiight. damn.

it is really scary how sometimes oblique hateful references can appear to apply to me and then i really hope and pray that it doesn't but i realise how disgusting a person i've become.

rugby is so violent and so chaotic. but oh such fun.

newton is such a ripoff. i love love -love- the oysters but the other stuff there is disgustingly overpriced!

my brother is such a crazy nut. but owing to his belief that he must appear cool and suave in front of other people he doesn't get goofy except at home. and in the car... heh. don't tell him i said anything :P but anyhow. other than the ego-killing constant pokes he gives me to compare the -ahem- level of firmness of our biceps <-- erm. nonexistent for me. he's really such a sweet brother :) like when i was bored yesterday. he did the button song which he learnt in camp. it's incredibly incredibly lame. and ends off with him shaking his body convulsively (long story.).

hehe. our french tchr is going to be so... ecstatic when he gets our gift :) it's hilarious. i hesitate to describe it here for fear that he actually frequents our blogs. now that's a scary thought :P

whoa :) nz vs aust tomorrow!!! hehe. rugby is such a violent sport. they hurl their 200kg-2metre bodies around and it's just so cool to watch. there isn't another sport where they attack one another so readily :) and it's all in the name of sport too! right. they all look like neanderthals tho.. ok. maybe just the scrum people. but still. amazing resemblances. and crap. i can't watch it tmr cos i have to go for the farewell party :( i hope the-other-crystal doesn't mind if i usurp her tv for rugby... or at most. i'll crash one of my classmates' places. :D

tumteetum. i was going to write stuff abt my mom. but. i'll leave it for another day i suppose...

"... and my body trembled from head to toe like i had swallowed somebody's vibrating pager."

riiiiight.

ewww... i am disgusted at myself. i'm bellicose and confrontational. and i'm positive it's the fault of 10 months of jc. sigh. right. the rest of my class is at chalet :( and i'm uberbored. i refuse to study french! ok. maybe later. right now i'm moping that i did not hesitate to want to pick a fight with this ah lian. damn.

mwahaha. c'est fini! ok. maybe just pw. but that was the most disgusting anyway.

jc has made me foul. i now no longer hesitate to scream f--- at the whole world. (ok. not here. i'm trying to cultivate a gentler image here). plus. i now have reason.

i have murderous tendencies. current target: person who ever -ever- even dreamed about implementing pw.

you murderer of trees and glutton of free time! you killer of -ironically- group work and group dynamics! you creator of selfish pieces of crap! i have to take revenge surtout for the trees. you have any idea how many stacks of 1 1/2" files are utterly filled with crappy pieces of paper whose sole purpose is for the selfish pieces of crap to claim their fame? damn.

haha :) back from movie fest at crys' house. trois et demi films. :) tho i just remember alternating between being famished and being really stuffed. and i mean -really- stuffed :) sigh. if the kids weren't downstairs now i would go swim off all these calories. but. ah well. thwarted!!

i really love yamakasi and the really cool chinese guy in it :) hehe. damn funky :) ok wait. the whole night/morning we were just gushing over cute guys :) which is so wrong :P but. the two french movies i've already watched before.. hell. i've watched all three and a half of the movies before! but still... it was really fun watching the movies/dozing off/getting woken up/gorging :) it's amazing how watching little mermaid makes me feel like a little kid all over again. with prince -ahem- eric who's really Prince Charming... and sebastien :)

and about that kiss, you've got to look your best tomorrow! you've got to bat your eyelids like this -proceeds to flutter his humonguous scarlet eyelids- and pucker your lips like this -puckers up lips-

hehe. and then i realised that i was the only one laughing cos crys had gone to sleep. heh. anyhow :) left her a message on the funtabulous magnadoodle board which i absolutely adore. i want one too :/ ah well. hope she doesn't mind waking up and finding me gone and a whole load of trash on the floor... i -did- stay ard to see if she'd wake up... even tentatively calling her names a few times to see if she'd awaken. in the end i had to go traipsing around the house in search of helen to open the gate. damn. i seem to have many memories of myself stuck in crys' house trying to look for helen to open the gate to let me out.

i'm not even sleepy. but that's probably cos of the 3-4 hours of sleep i managed to sneak in as well as the fact that i didn't do anything yesterday. speaking of which. i still need to get present for frederik. and i have no idea what.. cept that it's prob going to be sthg lameass :D sigh. please ask the little kids to go away so i can swim in peace! brrrrrrr.

there's something special about talking deep into the night about just anything and everything. the proverbial wall is rising brick by brick and the bridge we've built has crumbled. i miss the way it was. i want to stuff time back its silly ass and go back to how it used to be. funny how we're always talking about the future when all i want is to pull my security blanket back over my head and hide.

sometimes it feels as though a good cry would be able to settle everything. but all that does is make my face red and blotchy and sticky as well as purge my body of some salt and urea. it sometimes feels as if all that has happened is too surreal. that perhaps if i claw my way through this false imagery i'd find out that, hey. things -did- turn out the way it was supposed to after all.

it's at this point that i realise that (haha :) chinese is a much prettier language than english to express sorrow and anguish without it sounding overly cheesy and lameass. but. my blog somehow cannot read the chinese encoding so too bad.

bleargh. tiring to fiddle with blogs. but in anycase. my class one is finally resuscitated! headachey now. so shall probably go to sleep.

chinese was terrible. i can't believe it... i was dying! hate chinese with a vengeance now. had v un-understandable comprehension... would anyone care to tell me what the movie xing yuan was about?

finally. i repaired my background which was strangely missing...

happy.
finally got down to swim without it raining on me. nearly drowned tho since my brother was popping out from everywhere so i couldn't swim in a straight line, and doing stuff like grabbing my leg and distracting me :) he looks like such a little kid when his hair is plastered to his head instead of the typical ac-do.

sad.
bleargh. turns out the touch tourney was a one-day affair. turns out that all our prior confidence came to naught. turns out that char was so pissed i think it's the first time i've ever seen her scream fuck (ok. thru sms. but still.) damn. i should have been there! not that i could have done anything but at least i wouldn't feel like i-should-have-voodooed-them. sheesh.

resigned.
chinese tmr. nthg studied. nthg done. mom asked me so. how many minutes of chinese did you study today? (answer: about half an hour?) sigh. plus. i'm convinced that everyone's in collusion...

me to my mom: i want to get a bikini in melbourne :) my friend says it's way cheaper there!
mom: you'll have to go to the kids' section...

plus. i get stuff like this practically everyday in school! aaaargh. sad :( ok. maybe not sad -sad-. just. you know what i mean.

2 days. and nthg done. bah. it totally doesn't feel like i'm taking ao's on friday... if i don't do well i suppose i'll think back disgustedly at today and curse and swear at myself for not having done sthg sooner. bleargh.

i don't ever want to be someone else other than myself. cos then i'd look at myself and see how horrible i've been/am. i think if i were you i wouldn't like me.

hehe. my classmate tells me i sound v angsty on my blog. to him: i so do not! i'm perfectly happy. sometimes. and the rest of the time. i suppose. ah well. angsty still has a rather negative connotation! sigh. last day of school tomorrow! i should be happier but... i feel nothing in particular.. it's just been a really jinxed year <-- refer to list of misfortunes :) and hehe. i hope venus is in a happier house next year!

haha.. today's studying jaunt with crys was -such- a failure! it was soup wednesday :) and so we had a really dubious sounding broccoli puree with navy beans. ew. anyway. looked like green gook, tasted like soup :) which was good. after which i blew all my money on sticky bun, and tossed tomato salad :P ok. not me who blew the money.. more like crys.. since in the end i didn't really pay for anything :/ and i kept wanting to talk instead of mug :( ah well.

i hate the sky :( i just came back from swimming all of 5 minutes in the pool cos it was raining and thundering :/ and then once i got up, it promptly stopped. and then cos i was thwarted in my attempts to get healthy, i ate up all the food left on the dining table. damn. sigh. :(:(:(

tumteetum. somehow i feel very happy when i'm at home :) might be the sight of all the wood ard the house or maybe it's just that i love being at home :) though of course. occasionally/frequently i get bored. and then i refuse to stay in the house anymore :) haha. i was so colour co-ordinated today i think i might have gone ott :D the jane's-nike-orange bag plus new orange waterbottle :) didn't have orange shoes/earrings/hairband/hair/whatever tho :) but. there *was* my orange umbrella which i was forced to whip out in the rain :) so there. i was a walking orange.

i ought to study chinese considering it's supposed to be chinese lesson now and i'm at home... but. i think i'll put it off till tmr when i go mug with crys :) i just realised... chinese in 3 days, pw in 7, french in 8 and 9 days. hmmmm. and i thought promos was -it-. seems i have to buckle down again :/ eww.

know what? the more i think about that red jacket. the more i'm in love... despite the fleece. despite the price. despite promising myself i'm nv going to splurge. aaaargh. torturous... hehe. do you remember those shows where they gave you 10-15 minutes and you grab whatever you want and then they give it to you for free? i want one of those in nike! i'll make a beeline for the jacket and erm. conveniently take whatever else is in sight too :)

i have so so so much inertia i must have dark matter in me. when i finish class i refuse to go home and instead linger ard in hopes of finding someone to talk to... and then when i sit down i can't get myself to move anymore than necessary... it's like i'll get a comfy spot somewhere to start reading a book. and 10 hours later, i'll still be in the same spot. providing i haven't finished the book that is...

sigh... embarrassing. i think too much about what people think about me and it makes me miserable. if only i could read minds then i'll save all the trouble of secondguessing everyone else. :) then again. if only i could teleport. fly. ride a dragon. breathe fire. use the Will and the Word. hehe. cook :)

it's amazing how guys act differently in front of guys and in front of girls

when s1 is inexplicably irritating do i ignore the person? even if the person is totally clueless?

i'm positive i'm schizo. i (for some unknown reason) am feeling utterly miserable now but i'm sure if you're chatting to me now you can't tell. it's so easy to :) and :D to assure everyone that things are ok and fine. it's so much easier to deal :) see what i mean? bah.

i wanna camp at wheelock place! attraction no 1:: exile's choice by lackey which is the one abt alberich :D
attraction no 2: ipod
attraction no 3:: padded pretty laptop bag by the brand with the dude on the logo. right. i don't know its name but i know it's freaking ex la.
attraction no 4: (and most most enticing): gorgeous gorgeous bright red nike jacket :) ooooooh. i love red, and i adore the cut :) plus. it went really well with the miniskirt i was wearing today... cept. it's 120 bucks and it's thermal wear :( bleargh. it's absolutely brilliant... :/ plus. i also love the spag top thingy in the same colour :) just walk into a nike shop. i'm in love.

i abhor idiocy. i hate stupidity. if there's anything to drive me up the wall it's people making ridiculous requests. i refuse to see things from your point of view anymore. it's making me sick and tired and it's bloody exhausting. so you freaking make up your mind and -tell- me. then i'll see how. hello? otherwise.

i feel just a tad stupid now. went out on a jaunt to take photos of the cats. brought the cam out. and got locked out of the house. sigh. my sister was deaf to all my efforts to let her know that -hey. i'm outside the house without a key. can you please open the door?- sighhh. hehe. was v embarrassed in case s1 walked past and saw me outside banging on the door, jumping up on the window grille to see if i could steal a phone out of my grandma's room and stuff. so i sat outside my door taking photos of shoes, filching a banana from the kitchen window then finally realising that hey. i could press the doorbell (the one that's downstairs since the one outside my door is mute) ah well. at least it's sunday morning. ergo v few people around to witness my stupidity :/

mg funfair is incredibly fun :) despite the hordes and hordes of people :) despite the fact that i actually spent most of my time with my mom being introduced to her colleagues. haha... there were inflatable castles in the field! which were absolutely gorgeous. and a mini viking which jac called a boat :) and just crazy exclassmates-of-jac... hehe. so damn fun. but so tiring to wend your way through huge crowds and being surrounded by so much stuff and yet having nthg i really want to spend my 50 bucks on. but still. it'd be incredibly cool to have inflatable castles in the hc field!! and then we won't have to fight with little kids to slide down on them :) somehow. the castles seem to cast a magic spell on the whole day :) and make it seem as if i've really been to a funfair. but boy was the place filthy... but. funfairish nonetheless :)

when sylvester/wile e. coyote/antagonist of cartoons run off a cliff, they always manage to get a few feet past the edge (just enough so that they can't run back when they realise) before they inevitably look down and go uhoh and subsequently plunge into the ground where they lie all mangled :) i always wondered. if they never looked down, never realised that they were walking on air, wouldn't they then continue indefinitely, defying all laws of gravitation? and then we'd have 'levitating' coyotes and cats and wait. tweety and roadrunner would not exist :/